I don’t put effort into not being single
Because relationships takes works and I realized that I am happier putting that work into me instead.
Haven’t dated since my 20s. Got cheated on a lot. Like all of them. Some of them even bragged about cheating, to my face.
In my 30s, I put 0 effort into dating. The only type of women that wanted to ‘date’ me basically wanted me to take care of their kids, pay for shit, but they weren’t looking for anything serious or any more kids (spoiler, that was a lie). Last person, someone I’ve known for years, asked if I’d be interested in having kids with her since we are getting close to 40 and neither of us had started a family yet. But, I was to be just a sperm donor, obviously be financially responsible, but have no say in anything with the kids… But it was totally going to be 50/50! Turned her away. That one tore me up because I’ve really wanted to have kids for a long time. Painfully obvious she just wanted me involved for money and nothing else. Now her mom is bank rolling all her dreams.
I miss having someone to talk to, to make plans with, to share wonderful build a life with. But I don’t miss the drama, the games, the cheating, and the lies.
I am single by choice because I am going through mental health relapse. That’s never a good time to have a relationship, as much as I would like to have one. For the time being, I realize that the single life is easier and makes the most amount of sense.
My social skills are probably near null, I avoid interaction and just say just the bare minimum of words. And I get talkative then all I speak is about tech, science or history. Edit: And I’m actually fine as single.
The single life isn’t so bad really.
Too sad
I’ve always had very very low interest in relationships anyway - I value my “alone time” greatly, prefer to not have emotional responsibilities towards other people and never wanted kids / a family. I fell in love exctly once in my life and that woman turned out to be a psycho. I have absolutely no interest in trying that ever again.
15+ years single and comfortable with the situation.
Some of y’all might just be aromantic or asexual. I thought I just had low interest in a relationship until I realized what exactly attraction is.
Same boat about just low interest in relationships, im not very social and dont go out to social events often… and apps are always a bit of a joke to me
Imo im just pretty comfortable being alone, and relationships seem like a lot of extra “work” that i probably wouldn’t care for much… if in the future i met someone and we hit it off then i wouldnt be opposed… but im really not gunna try putting myself out there/force it 😅
Been solo for +5 years
There are people that won’t want kids, and some of them are not psychos. Some are introverts also.
:)
My ex was a psycho tho, completely unrelated to whether or not she wanted children. Some context: https://lemmy.world/comment/2313628
EDIT: ok, linking comments doesn’t seem t work ATM, so here’s a copypaste instead:
My ex was convinced that girls hitting / insulting men was not only completely fine and normal, but even hilarious and “cute” for some weird reason - and she legit couldn’t understand why I did not find it funny or endearing. It didn’t help that she was also visibly smaller than me (about 2/3 my height) and percieved those actions as her own unique “love language”.
Let’s just say that there is a good reason this woman is my EX now. It took a while for the rose-tinted glasses to finally shatter so I could see the red flags for what they were, but I’m glad that psycho is no longer part of my life.
(I know from mutual friends that she still thinks women hitting men is okay, but men hitting women deserve the death penalty)
…from a different discussion.
Are you me?
Severe social anxiety. I can handle basic small talk, but anything resembling flirting is out of the question.
Because I finally came to the conclusion that I’m happier, healthier, and like myself better when I’m a bachelor.
Because no woman close to my age has shown interest in me.
Decided after my last breakup that i cant do this shit again or i will probably off myself… Its been 10 years and now i cant remember how to talk to women…
It definitely takes practice. The more often you put yourself out there, the better you’ll get. Or you’ll find someone that loves you for not being good at talking, which is even better.
When I was single for much longer than I liked it myself, it was for a large part because, unbeknownst to me, my style of humor was quite hurtful to others, making me quite the asshole. Needed a while to figure that out, because me being the asshole was not an idea that went down well.
I’m ugly
:)
I’ve seen people I wouldn’t consider attractive with partners. Both genders. There might be truth to “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”.
I would say just learn to talk to people. It’s practically the biggest thing. Looks only get you certain people but charisma can get you the right person.
I’m sure you could quite easily improve that
Not if it requires wearing underwear?
Sorry, just my sense of humor.
Dating apps switched to mobile. When we wrote to each other on computers with physical kbds, it was like email and a long-distance conversation. Now it’s like text messages and I am not good at smalltalk. I thrived on dating apps in 2010 because I could really express my personality. It got a lot harder when everything became apps instead of websites.
That hadn’t occurred to me but you’re right. Luckily I am ok at either, but the old way was easier and better.
My wife realized she wasn’t happy being married to a man and left me to date women. There was a lot I think I could have done, but I can’t change my gender. Feels bad.
