Is it too late to call in for a replacement?
Teacher: Welcome to school children, today we will be learning how to do…
Kid: our taxes??
Teacher: no, we’re gonna learn outdated modes of counting beans and how to summon Jesus
how to summon Jesus
That could be pretty useful if it worked.
My friendly neighborhood
cultmegachurch said all I have to do is fork over 15-20% of my income and Believe for a Miracle™.Summon jesus on top of your enemies to crush them
Bible literalists: “You must accept jesus into your heart”
Interpreted literally: Summon jesus inside your enemies to telefrag them
It totally works, but only for his godly part, which is for all intents and purposes completely imperceptible.
Fucking fitted sheets! That’s the real issue. Just give up, ball them up, toss’em in there somewhere. They’re stretch anyways so it’s fine if they’re balled up!
Folding a fitted sheet is surprisingly easy once you know how. There’s even some mildly helpful WikiHow articles on socialising.
that’s how I do it, but I never get that first rectangle. it still comes out looking okayyy but not nice like the flat sheets.
I know! It’s crazy how many parents forget to give their kids their copies of that book!
It’s crazier to know about the number of parents that didn’t even have a copy for themselves.
Yes! Never discovered ND-parents:
‘this is normal, everyone is like this, encountered problems are definitely because of something else unrelated to [insert neurotype]’
“Son, today you’re going through the 2nd lesson of month 27 of the Communist Cuba Adulting Gauntlet. The task is to figure out how to get 15 miles home when your bike has a flat and you have no money or food. You can’t call anyone to pick you up. You can’t ask me any questions, but I’ll be here to make sure you don’t kill yourself…and stop crying. You’re already 12 years old.”
that’s why I pulled a pro-gamer move and joined the military. y’all over there trying to figure out how to do your taxes, and I’m over here tax-free on disability 🧠
If I got that book I’d avoid reading it on purpose just to see how far I get.
We get a book on life?
