• @[email protected]
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    51
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    1 year ago

    Lisp. All is Lisp.

    Data’s entire consciousness was written as an Emacs package.

    Klingons program in Brainfuck. A Warrior’s Language!

    Vulcans exclusively use APL.

    The F in Ferengi stands for Fortran.

    Python is banned across the known galaxy. If your race is discovered using it, your planet is immediately bombarded until the entire crust is molten.

    Cardassians use Haskell because they’re evil.

    • zeet
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      401 year ago

      You missed out Q Basic.

    • @Ensign_Crab
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      191 year ago

      The F in Ferengi stands for Fortran.

      If Ferengi were to use a language that old, you’d think it would be the COmmon Business-Oriented Language.

    • @MajorHavoc
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      171 year ago

      Just to add - obviously all Ferengi programs run on a Blockchain, and are riddled with microtransactions.

    • @MajorHavoc
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      91 year ago

      I’ll just add that Data was previously built as a Vi plugin, but it was evil, so Doctor Soong disassembled it and shut it down. A lot of trouble could have been saved it Dr Soong had learned how to actually exit Vi.

      • @[email protected]
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        21 year ago

        Are you sure? They might have learned something then. Or did they get stuck with a turtle-logic compiler instead?

    • directive0
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      51 year ago

      Hahaha, why no python?

      • @[email protected]
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        171 year ago

        The reason has been purged, intentionally forgotten. Vulcans train their entire lives to take on a dangerous task: once every 66 years, the very best of the best view the reason why Python is banned. Once viewed, the Vulcan confirms that it is indeed a just and necessary action to ban the ancient language.

        After the task is complete, the Vulcan goes utterly, irretrievably insane and dies mere hours later.

          • @MajorHavoc
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            1 year ago

            It’s clearly because someone had to work with the Python logging package. Or had to call subprocess.

            • @[email protected]
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              21 year ago

              Logging is fine, it’s traitlets that I’m struggling with right now. Lack of comprehensive documentation means I have to read the source and that is taking me forever.

              • @MajorHavoc
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                21 year ago

                Interesting. Traitlets looks to Java-like (overly in love with objects) for my taste.

                For typing, I’ve been reasonably happy with MyPy.

                For everything else in Traitlets - well, that all sounds too OOP for my comfort.

                Ooh, that’s another reason to burn Python to the ground and never speak of it again - it supports multiple-inheritance.

          • @[email protected]
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            21 year ago

            I’m going with Vulcans using APL*. Why create a language that makes you do more than just write the equations?

  • @WhoRoger
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    281 year ago

    Have you seen how people do programming? We see lots of it in Voyager around holograms. It’s basically today’s AI programming assistants on steroids. everything probably uses some fucking 300 years JavaScript as a basis, and that’s why everything keeps breaking all the time.

    • @TootSweet
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      241 year ago

      I really want to see an episode of Lower Decks where the captain watches engineers write programs, comes to the conclusion that “programming is just talking to the computer – I can do that” and fires all the engineers (or transfers them to other functions.)

    • @[email protected]
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      121 year ago

      Yeah they just tell the computer what they want. They’re prompt engineers hundreds of years in the future. Programming, replicator, holodeck, lights in the quarters, whatever. Makes you wonder what all the button pushing is on the bridge. Maybe because it’s quieter than everyone talking over each other?

    • @MajorHavoc
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      101 year ago

      Thank you for plausibly explaining every holodeck episode. That’s canon for me now.

  • @Moc
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    81 year ago

    You know it’s JavaScript

    • @MajorHavoc
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      21 year ago

      Wow. That would explain why a light tap to the shields causes everyone’s interface to explode in their face.

  • Melllvar
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    51 year ago

    Ostensibly Lisp, but most of it is hacked together with perl.

  • Michael Gemar
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    41 year ago

    @ZenkorSoraz To paraphrase a developer from the ‘80s: “I don’t know what the language of the future will look like, but I know it will be called Fortran.”

  • @CADmonkey
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    31 year ago

    If it’s the original series, one has to assume that whatever programming is done, is done on a teletype. Nowhere in Star Trek:TOS is there a screen with words on it, because when the show was made… screens with words on them weren’t how you got info from a computer.

  • Billegh
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    21 year ago

    Rust. Everything is eventually becoming crabs.