• @hi_its_me
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    931 year ago

    Out of curiosity, has there ever been a teardown of one of these to see what kind of snake oil actually powers them?

      • @[email protected]
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        501 year ago

        Or given that the device’s purpose is to be a prop for psychological manipulation, the current ones might, rather than simply reading out skin resistance, produce some other value more conducive to that purpose. I’m which case, dumping and disassembling the firmware would be as much a threat to Scientology as dumping slot machine firmware would be to casinos and gambling firms. (True story: someone once did this with a slot machine, proving that it was rigged.)

        • @Cabrio
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          71 year ago

          Prion disease.

          • @Madison420
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            01 year ago

            The scions of prions? Lucky pions!

            Hey Shakespeare did it, so it can’t be wrong.

        • @hardcoreufo
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          41 year ago

          Sadly midichlorians make sense compared to episodes 7, 8 and 9.

          • @[email protected]
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            1 year ago

            My headcanon is that they’re a bacteria that feeds on the force rather than that they control the force or grant powers. They need a host so that’s why you find lots of them in force sensitive people.

            • @Anomalous_Llama
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              11 year ago

              My head cannon is just that they’re attracted to beings that can manipulate the force

              They don’t give any powers. But the more you have the higher your latent abilities are and they can just sense that

      • Bizarroland
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        1 year ago

        Although you do realize that technically, if their new versions are not patented then they are considered trade secrets right? If you can get your hands on one and patent it then you have a decent pathway to sue the Church of Scientology for patent infringement.

        That would be a fun one to work out

        • Natanael
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          111 year ago

          They could get your patent invalidated if they can demonstrate you copied them

          • @[email protected]
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            121 year ago

            I like that fundamental misunderstandings of how the law works can still be found on this website, was my favorite part of reddit

          • Rayston
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            41 year ago

            wouldnt that force them to admit the public patent and all its details are a copy? thus confirming exactly how the device works…and isnt that something they dont want?

          • Bizarroland
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            31 year ago

            They would still have to pay an inordinate amount of money in legal fees fighting it, and if they invalidate the patent then the publication would go public domain.

        • @douglasg14b
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          81 year ago

          Sure, and then they either disappear you, or you have an “accident”. Or you just so happened to get beaten half to death in the restroom by a “random” act of violence.

          Or anything equally as sinister, but to your finances, possessions, loved ones, or life.

          • Bizarroland
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            -121 year ago

            Scientology is not some super powerful cult with secret enforcers all over the place. They might have that much power in Clearwater Florida but outside of that what are they going to do?

            If they had the ability to act like a mafia the way that you’re suggesting then they wouldn’t be able to walk and operate freely in America without somebody from a three-letter organization breathing down their neck.

        • @PM_Your_Nudes_Please
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          261 year ago

          It’s measuring resistance, just like a multimeter can. Basically, it’s measuring how “difficult” it is for electricity to reach from A to B. High quality wire will have low resistance, while something like rubber has a very high resistance. This is basically just measuring resistance and moving a needle back and forth on a meter. It’s an Electrical Engineering 101 class project.

          • @[email protected]
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            71 year ago

            What makes certain people have different measurements? I assume that’s what they’re after in the cult to determine who goes where

            • @comrade19
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              101 year ago

              Our skin layer is about the worst conductor of our bodies but if you have wet salty skin you’ll show a higher reading. Maybe that’s all the data they need. Maybe they’re onto something

              • @CosmicTurtle
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                261 year ago

                This goes a step further though.

                Because they are questioning you while “on the cans”, your skin’s electrical conductivity will change naturally even if being completely honest. These momentary blips will cause the person conducting the interview to ask you more personal, more intimate questions, with the goal of you over sharing.

                Basically they use the flawed technology that is the lie detector and based an entire religion around it.

                Honestly not a bad idea, if I’m being completely honest and devoid of human empathy.

          • @cheese_greater
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            41 year ago

            Isn’t there a name for bullshit devices that produce some ouput that has no bearing on what is being tested? Like that device Dee and Charlie use when they are in the superberry MLM on Sunny in Philadelphia. Like, its snake oil but I thought there was a word for that kind of thing.

            • @[email protected]
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              61 year ago

              What do you mean? That machine measured stress very accurately and displayed it in standard stress units

              • @cheese_greater
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                31 year ago

                My biggest issue was the lack of clarity over where one should place their feet. Kinda important

            • @[email protected]
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              11 year ago

              I don’t know about one word, but generally I’ve heard “quack medical device” used to describe such things.

              • @cheese_greater
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                11 year ago

                Like a polygraph I guess but slightly seedier

        • ElleChaise
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          101 year ago

          It’s like a voltmeter set to resistance mode. It can detect small changes in electrical energy and show that change on a meter that moves right for higher resistance, and left for lower resistance. In other words, it’s a bunch o’ bull crap.

            • Bizarroland
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              111 year ago

              Taking it as an abstract, I could see how that would be an incredible tool for building a cohesive unit of people.

              I’ve read the Dianetics book because when I was a kid I would see the ads and I was like oh that’s interesting and then I found a copy out of thrift store.

              Dianetics offers you you know your maximum human mental potential and freedom from all of your psychosomatic and psychological illnesses. No anxiety, no schizophrenia, no bipolar disorder, no lying to yourself about anything.

              And on the surface that seems good but you know obviously if it were actually capable of unlocking human potential it would now be standard course in American education.

              But you put all of that aside and think about it from a different angle, and what you have is a machine that measures anxiety and a person you’re telling all of your deepest darkest secrets and fears to, and you repeat the Dianetics process until you have told every single thing that you can think of about your entire life to another person.

              And at that point, you’re no longer anxious around that person, so the e-meter says that you have reached “clear”.

              Now you’re surrounded with people who know all of your deepest darkest secrets and fears and completely and totally accept you as long as you adhere to their society’s rules.

              It’s very fascinating, I couldn’t imagine a better way to build a cult than with a system like that.

      • Bizarroland
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        51 year ago

        Given the era, I would suspect more like a single 9 volt battery.

    • Bobby Turkalino
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      81 year ago

      I imagine whoever tries gets sued into oblivion faster than John Deere with a farmer fixing his tractor

  • @[email protected]
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    501 year ago

    I might have a solution, just hear me out… what if they just folded their phony religion and left everyone alone? See? Everyone wins!

    • @Cabrio
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      391 year ago

      Fuck scientology, but honestly, props to Ron. It takes a significant amount of rizz and a good lack of fucks to go from being quoted on how lucrative it would be to start a religion while he was a well known science fiction author, only to make a religion and gain untold wealth.

      I mean it’s one thing to grift an idiot, but when you tell them to their face that you’re going to grift them who’s fault is it really?

      • @[email protected]
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        111 year ago

        Problem is when you start grifting kids. They can’t exactly consent. Same issue with any religion/grift really. If it’s aimed at a child it’s abuse.

  • @Treczoks
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    431 year ago

    “Repairing” as in “noticing they don’t actually do anything beside measuring resistance like any common multimeter from the DIY shop”

    • @[email protected]
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      71 year ago

      Do they even measure resistance? Hold the probes on a multimeter. Tell me how much resistance you’re measuring. With my MM I’m registering microohms.

      • Rob T Firefly
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        1 year ago

        That just goes to show how important proper training is. Without the right scientology certifications you have no idea how many evil alien ghosts living in your soul those microohms indicate!

      • @XeroxCool
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        61 year ago

        … Do you mean you’re measuring megaohms (M) across your body? Or microohms (u) between probes directly? Or milliohms (m)?

        I’ve wet my finger and measured like 30kOhms across a half inch of skin or so. And if you get into your bloodstream, the salty liquid has very low resistance BUT BUT BUT this will kill you if the probe paths across your heart

  • @[email protected]
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    311 year ago

    Zenu forbid everyone finds out their off-the-shelf multimeter from the 70s is just as special and important as their beliefs (not at all).

  • Uriel238 [all pronouns]
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    1 year ago

    Someone should invent an e-meter that’s ten times as accurate.

    ETA: That might just be a biofeedback device.

    • Rob T Firefly
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      41 year ago

      It’s hard to define concepts like “accuracy” when the basic claim is that the gadget can count the evil dead alien ghosts living in your head to hassle you.

      • Uriel238 [all pronouns]
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        21 year ago

        It measures skin resistance and then has special metrics regarding Thetans or clarity.

        So one could make one that is even more sensitive, that allows you to practice altering your skin resistance with mind thoughts (roaring ocean waves and salty sea air! Seagulls and warm sun! Sand squishing between your toes!), thereby potentially improving your clarity, or at least improving the measured metrics.

        I’m not a Scientologist, but according to some biofeedback enthusiast friends, ASMR might help them game their readings better.

  • @callmemagnus
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    231 year ago

    When Scientology is your ally… You’re on the bad track

  • Uriel238 [all pronouns]
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    1 year ago

    It occurs to me the CoS doesn’t need a state law preventing outside sources from repairing their gizmos. An intra-church policy will do just fine.

    Similarly the Catholic Church doesnt need to impose a state law against third parties making Uriel’s®️ Heavy Duty Double-Divine Holy Water for demon huntering and exorcism when an internal ruling will do as well. The same for Uriel’s Fastin-EZ quick-transubstantiation communion wafers (available also in chocolate, mint and sweetcream flavors!).