Quick, hide the UFOs!!
They must be getting close to the smoking gun Epstein files.
The smoking gun was a handheld phaser offgassing this whole time…
Just imagine how juicy and salacious the evidence must be if we’re going to get alien autopsies to distract from it.
Watch the UFO files be a bunch of aliens calling the FBI to report Trump for raping children
Wait is there an intergalactic version of To Catch A Predator?
Not gonna lie that sounds great.
Any alien civilization advanced enough to traverse even local-cluster distances would so far outstrip the entire human race’s intelligence that we’d more likely be seen as bugs or maybe closer to puppies than anything worth actual communication.
Hopefully the aliens get and release a copy of the Epstein files before we get our aquarium enclosures.
What if the ‘aliens’ are us. Or the AI that killed us.
From the future.
Or, decendents of eons old terrestrial civilizations that were highly advanced and were either wiped from the *surface* of the earth due to some geological cataclysm.
Or, they have always lived in the oceans and we are one of their many genetic experiments - or maybe the harvest.
So long and thanks for all the fish.
I want to see the Epstein Files that mention aliens.
They’ve got nothing on aliens, nerds would have leaked them to make X-Com better like they did for War Thunder
Bob Lazar was that nerd and his life sucks. Doesn’t matter if they’re real though, at this point the Epstein files are so dark aliens could land on the whitehouse lawn and the first question they would be asked is why they were helping distract from the Epstein files.
David Grusch is another, more recent nerd to fall under this category
Wasn’t Bob Lazar a huge fraud or am I thinking of somepony else?
The fastest way I’ve found to cut through that is asking why the FBI spends so much time and money on a guy spouting bullshit. His story has been consistent and was never disproven. If he’s fake it’s some hairbrained decades long psyop
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Best argument against Earth having made contact with spacefaring aliens I have heard yet, including the whole thorny issue of figuring out a way around the paradox of moving faster than light…
I have no doubt we’ll crack FTL sooner rather than later.
Hell I don’t doubt we’ll find a way around the laws of physics altogether.
If we find a way around the laws of physics then we haven’t found a way around them, we’ve found out more about them
Due to relativity, FTL travel is also time travel. So why aren’t they visiting us?
Maybe they already did and that’s why we have fungi and mitochondria.
They’re visiting us in the future after we’ve gotten rid of Capitalism
Hey, what about the pedos?
Man, what an act of desperation, misdirection, and a completely absurd gesture. If there actually was indisputable evidence, physical or otherwise, there isn’t a chance in hell they would let that out. It would throw a good portion of civilization into a panic.
Wouldn’t a truly Christian president destroy evidence that reality deviates in the “details” from the Bible?
Or wait fuck did Jesus already come back but he came back to a different planet he liked better and has been hanging with those aliens!?!
Jesus we thought we were your favorite please come home and stop ignoring our texts! <3 <3 <3
P.S. also how do we use this we can’t find anything in Bible about it and honestly when you told us before we were kinda distracted by The Garden so you know…
Aliens were Jesus all along!
Wort! Wort! Wort!
Posolè!
Aliens are biblically compatible. Sources,: St Augustine, CS lewis, Multiple popes, Dana Scully.
It’s a pretty cool distraction, to be fair
any docs but the pedo ones is his moto at this point
Any files but the pedo files
These will only be a bit less covered up than the Epstein ones
didn’t he already promise to do that back in 2016?
These will be released riiiight after his healthcare plan to replace the Affordable Care Act and his tax returns…
