Science conference at a day spa resort:

200 people in bathrobes listening to a lecture

You just have to get sponsored by Epstein and away you go.

Then why is the food at my school’s academic events so fucking bad? 🙃

I want to write something here about the best conference catering ever, but it would probably dox me, so I won’t.

Same with tech conferences. Find me at the breakfast and lunch buffets, and maybe scouring the vendor booths for some free socks and shirts.

Deep Fried Memes? I’d visit that!

Still chasing my white whale: the eppendorf pipette pen.

You gotta hit up those conferences that have some clinical backing. Straight up chemistry conferences…ehhh. But if there’s a clinical portion, buffets, nice dinners, swag as the youth used to call it.

*loads several plates and face with buffet*

Now THIS is science!

Don’t know about you, but buffet is a terrible way of eating.

I much prefer those conferences where a meal in a restaurant is offered and then everyone gets drunk and young researchers end up talking about their posters at 4 in the morning in a night club.