You have to call baby ducks to fight them!
There was this one time I had stopped at an EV charger, was planning to plug in the car and go eat, when I noticed a couple of geese in front of the charger as I was pulling up. I step out of the car, goose hisses at me and refuses to move, effectively blocking me from getting to the charger. Head down, hissing, daring me to give him a reason to fuck me up.
It’s not like I could have just gone somewhere else. That was the only charger for several miles and I was pretty much at zero battery. So here I am in a stalemate with this goose who has no reason whatsoever to deny me access to much needed juice for my vehicle, just doing it to show me who holds the real power in these parts.
After several tense minutes the goose decided it had gotten the message across and fucked off. I choose to believe that the local goose mafia still control that EV charger.
He got babies?
Every few years my home town has an issue with one ending up in town attacking cars. Fuckers do not care, they will 1v1 a car.
A goose is loose in the hoose
I love how they chase me away. First, mister goose, I don’t want your stupid kids. Second, I could easily defeat you if I did want to eat them. I’m a fucking human. But I can’t help but respect their gumption.
I once couldn’t get to a client meeting because a goose was in front of their office door. Those things are mean!
Dinosaur brain
The resident Canada geese in my neighborhood are pretty chill. The only time I got lip was when I went out the back door and there was a goose, a gander and a gosling right there within a few feet. I received an angry honk as they shooed their gosling away from the stupid ape.
Geese are assholes
Dinner for two if you fillet the breast right. 🪿🪿
No joke, that’s how I defended myself on our farm.
Granted I didn’t punt them like that, but I would give them a good healthy kick to push them back if they really got a hair up their ass.
We had five, named after the Marx brothers.
They were generally ornery, occasionally vicious, but we never had a single issue with predators and our chickens.
I never understood why, after years, they NEVER, ever chilled out with me. Fucking assholes.
Satan though? Why?
Have you ever met a goose?
Yes. And I’ve met Satan. Have you?
Who hasn’t. If you haven’t met Satan you’re a fucking loser.
Right? Leave Satan out of it!
The only thing I don’t like about the word canal is that if you remove the C is spells anal! HA!
-Steven Gonville Toast
Was it valued?
