I’ll start.
My then gf and I had a chihuahua that just happened to be the most tiny and most diva and most clever little dog I’ve ever met. Tiny, incredibly cute, extreme ego and confidence, a terrible piercing bark and had some wild mood swings on top. He’d go from cuddly to nuclear warfare in a second of something displeased him. He was the eldest and the leader of his little pack and he kept all of them wrapped right around his paw running a little dogmatic terror state. But he took his responsibilities seriously and was always up in front if there was a threat to them. Be it an angry German shepherd or a double parked electric scooter. Nobody messed with his pack - except for him, obviously.
Our little beast was very well aware of his cuteness, and his craving for adoration knew no end. He’d be walking down the street next to me, obviously refusing to yield for anyone, and as we pass some café tables, he’d throw himself flat on the ground, legs pointing in all directions. We called it that he did a doormat. The intent was to throw us under the bus as his keepers so that he’d maximize the aahs and oohs and attention went compliments from the people sitting in the café.
But this is just the backstory. He was vain, and we knew he was clever, but also of this is still learned behaviour with a previously verified outcome.
No, what really set it apart was that one time we were at home, the entire couch occupied by humans, dogs, and generally not him in particular. He was strutting around, being grumpy that others had taken his rightful seat, and nobody would disappear into nothingness for his approval. Not an uncommon thing, but he has plenty of other comfy spaces to be, communal and his very own. We know if we lift him up now, he’ll try force some other dog down just because he wants space for himself, and we weren’t having it. The other dogs were there first today and it’s their right as much, so tough luck bud.
After some time, I notice him staring into the lights off bedroom. He looks at me, turns back to the bedroom and just keeps staring at it. I tell my gf that he is staring into the void and it seems to be staring back at him. We watch him as he keeps staring at nothing.
By now he is an old dog and has already shown signs of deterioration. I ask him what’s up and he shows some signs of anxiety, tail down, tapping feet, mild whimper. I call for him, there’s nothing there, come to daddy. No response. We figure he’s lost it now, the creeping senility we’ve suspected is real.
So I keep talking to him, calming him, approach to turn on the lights and show him around that there is nothing there. He stands eagerly waiting, full focus on me as I come closer. Then - tail high, he runs as fast his tiny legs can carry his body, to the seat where I was sitting, barking at my gf to be picked up into the couch.
And it dawns on me. It was all a ruse! He came up with the clever plan to lure me away from his desired spot. If he acts anxious I’ll get worried and get up, freeing up a vacancy on the couch, and then it’s a fair race who gets it first. His smug posture standing in my seat was what gave it away. He was not anxious at all, he was not afraid, that I’m not anthropomorphizing but that he knew exactly what he was doing.
A multi step sequential plan with a clear goal in mind that he came up with from no be prior training. If that is not intelligence, I don’t know what is.
I trained my previous German Shepherd to understand a conditional question. It took a few years to teach, but I would ask “What do you want? Do you want [option]?” Could be go out, food, water, treat, play, love, walk, ride.
After enough conditioning, I could ask him “What do you want?” and he would literally tell me. I’d ask him and sometimes it was clear he was just bored, and would literally start to slow wag his tail and try out options. Like he’d go up to his treats and I’d say “No, you don’t need any more of those…” and he’d get this little tail wag and then go try a toy or something. Was really handy if he ran out of water or something. I’d ask “What do you want?” and he’d lead me to his empty water bowl.
Incidentally thru different keyword use for toys, he learned to differentiate the names his favorite toys. Like his basketballs were always one of his favorites, and he comprehended that his ball had a specific name, but still fell into the category of “toy.” So if you said “Go get a toy” he might bring his basketball, but if you said “Go get your ball” he would only grab his basketball.
He sadly died a couple years ago. He imprinted a bit on one of my current dogs (also a GSD), and I’ve been trying to expand on toy names with this guy. The names he’s got down well so far are blue ball, basketball, jack, long jack, cactus, pineapple, donut, and the ring. Maybe a couple other toys I can’t think of that he’s learned. (we spoil our dogs with too many toys…) But I can tell him “Go get the cactus!” and he’ll tear off and search until he finds the specific toy.
It’s very enriching for him and really shows off the intelligence of dogs that people take for granted (intelligence definitely varies on breed tho…).
That’s incredible. That’s smarter than some small children lol. Some dogs are so smart.
Average German Shepherds have cognitive abilities similar to a human child around the age of 3. Exceptional German Shepherd intelligence definitely exceeds that imo.
I grew up in a large family with many children and my educational background is in psychology, and I am convinced that some of my dogs have been as smart as the average 4 or 5 year old, at least…
Part of that, just like in raising children, is about imprinting and instilling inquisitiveness. Creating complicated play activities like hide and seek, hiding toys/wrapping them in a blanket, scent training, etc. I train my GSDs to observe animals rather than go after them, and they will sit on the porch outside and just watch animals like I would.
You can shape dogs to be smarter and incredibly affectionate/empathetic; it’s not entirely genetics in my opinion. For the greatest impact it’s best to start young, but I’ve been able to facilitate more inquisitiveness in rescues/fosters before too.
It’s nice to see someone arguing the nurture side of things. Breed does have a significant influence, but how a dog is treated makes far more difference to their eventual personality.
I have always talked to my dogs the way I would talk to a human. I don’t use babytalk or even adjust my vocabulary. Not only does it seem to give them a startlingly good understanding of human language, it also makes them more inquisitive and more interactive. If you treat them like people they behave more like people.
I have had dogs that were smarter than others, but the average has been far higher than people generally assume.
I’ve done this with my dogs (newfie mixes). It’s very convenient.
Alternative headline: OP outsmarted by elderly chihuahua in his own home.
This person speaks the truth.
It is known
Chihuahua 1 House ape 0
We have a Boxer and a Wheaten, two weeks in age apart. If Will (Wheaten) is getting scratches, Seymour (Boxer) will go get a toy,any toy will work, and “play” with it in front of Will. Will has to be the “one” with the toy, so Will jumps down to take the toy away, and Seymour let’s him and takes the scratches.
You just had to name him that, didn’t you?
Seymour Buts or
Will FD (Full Disobedience)Wheaten?
Yes!
Delightfully devilish Seymour
We had a dog who was brilliant in almost every area. For example, he liked to watch television. Late at night he would go downstairs and turn on the TV. We only discovered it by accident, because he would also turn if off if he heard us coming. One night I walked in on him with his nose on the off button and the picture (on our old-style TV) still fading.
Once he knew that we knew, he stopped trying to hide it. He would turn it on and off when he wanted. Then he figured out, I assume from watching us, how to use the remote. Finally, he learned how to change channels using the remote. His favorite show turned out to be “The Pet Department” on Animal Planet. I kid you not.
Our Golden will actively watch Avatar: The Last Airbender and The Dragon Prince. Full on watch the TV. (And nature documentaries).
Most other shows he doesn’t really care one way or the other for.
Your sounds like a kindred spirit. Not all dogs understand televisions, but those who do seem to treat them much the same way we do. Most dogs are interested in other animals, so it makes sense that they would like nature shows. It sounds like yours also has a taste for fantasy, which is awesome.
This is very hard to believe… How would he use the remote? The keys are small for a dog.
That was the problem he had when he first tried the remove. After some experimentation, he discovered that his center toenail hit individual buttons without activating any other.
I would never have believed it if I hadn’t watched him doing it.
That’s fascinating. What breed?
I literally found him on the street, so I don’t know anything about his parents. And this was before canine DNA tests were a thing.
He had fur like a plush golden retriever, but if you ignored that, he mostly looked like a wolf. Our vet’s best guess was a shepherd mix with some husky and a lot of other bits and pieces.
Fascinating. I’m glad you found such a smart dog in the streets.
Me too. I’ve had some smart dogs, but he was in a different category.
When I found him he was carefully studying a busy intersection (6 lanes crossing 4 lanes with separate left turn lanes). Before I could get to where he was, he crossed two sides of the intersection safely, waiting for traffic to stop at the light. I pulled into a parking lot near him, opened my door, and said hello. He came over sniffed my hand, got a little petting, then jumped in when I patted the seat next to me. We were inseparable after that.
He was less than a year old when I found him, skinny and bedraggled in the rain. Over the next year he more than doubled in size, becoming quite a magnificent beast. It’s been two decades since he passed away, but I still miss him.
It makes me smile to read your story. Thank you so much for telling it!
Thanks for the positive response! I love reading about other people’s pets too.
Dog.
I was walking behind two dogs and their owner. I was walking faster than them and one of the dogs looked at me and proceeded to persistently move the other dog to the side so that I could pass. It was absolutely clear it knew what it was doing :)
I learned in a video that cats can read our facial expressions just fine, we’re just crap at reading theirs because their facial muscles don’t allow for the same movement as humans (and dogs to some extent). They’ll become more anxious if we show a fear expression around them in a new environment, or become more relaxed and cuddly if we smile at them in a new place. They look to us for reassurance as much as dogs do.
Once I learned that they do a lot of their communicating with their tail, I started paying attention to my two cat’s tail movements and now I can’t unsee it. It’s as obvious as a waving hand, and they’ll talk to one another this way as well as with us.
For example, they lift their tail as a greeting. If I say their name as they enter a room, I might think they’d completely blanked me if I didn’t see their tail lift ‘hello’ every single time. Once my older cat, Bartine, didn’t bother to tail lift, and I said “Oi! Barty! Rude?!”. She then gave me a quick, half-hearted lift, like she couldn’t be bothered with more than half wave, lol
Their tails quiver with excitement if there’s a very interesting treat up for grabs, or my favourite is a coquettish swirl which is 100% “I love you” because it’s always followed up with an approach to snuggle or headbutt. They also understand me when I say I love you, but particularly now because I see the swirl tail and say “I love you, too!” followed by indulgent pets.
My dog wasn’t allowed in my brother’s room, but he loved my brother. One time, after he was kicked out, he tried slowly walking in backwards. I guess he thought we couldn’t tell what he was doing if he did it backwards.
Smart things my “stupid” dog does:
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I have a box with gamepads, remotes and headphones next to the coch. My dog knows thats off-limits to him. If he wants attention and I ignore him long enough, he will then start to paw at the box. Sort of to say “Look at me…look what I’m doing…I’m touching the box…can’t ignore me now…”
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Anytime he does something super cute, the microsecond when I point my phone camera at him, he will turn away. Not if I suddenly reach for my phone, not if I’m just scrolling, but literally as soon as I want to tap the shutter button. It’s become quite a challenge to try and sneakily take pictures of him.
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Both my wife and me work from home 9-5. He will pretty much sleep during that time and not be much of a bother. Around 6 we have Dinner, and then take him for a walk for him to do his business. After that we relax in front of the TV. He pretty much knows we’ll watch about two episodes of some show, then step outside for a smoke. So as soon as the second episode stops, he’s already on top of us, begging for attention.
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Reminds me of the time my old roommate was outsmarted by his cat.
He was sitting on the piano bench after some practice and I and another friend were sitting on the couch. We were all having a light conversation in the evening but his cat had all his comfy spots taken. He jumped up on the kitchen counter in protest–a spot he’s not meant to be–and my roommate went over to shoo him down. After he sat back down on the piano bench, I saw a lightbulb go off in the little cat’s brain. He hopped up on the counter again to test his hypothesis, and sure enough, my roommate went over to shoo him down. After the third time jumping up on the counter, the cat rushed over to the piano bench and immediately laid down. My roommate, being the sweet man he was, sat back down next to him on the little corner of the bench as to not disturb him :)
It was one of the most genius things I’ve ever seen an animal do.
One time my dog wanted to sit in the ottoman, but my other two dogs were already sharing it so no room. He went to the back door and barked once and the other two joined him to see what was going on. As they jumped down, he jumped up on the ottoman and let them “protect” the house.
My African grey Bert constantly surprises me with his intelligence. My personal favorite was the time he was trying to get the cat’s attention. He’d been muttering, whistling, and dancing in the cat’s direction for about 15 minutes and finally yelled “Why don’t you f-ing talk?” I don’t think he believed me when I told him the cat can’t talk.
I have a little drawer which has a slight gap at the top instead of a handle to open it.
I put a toy my cat likes in it, and he reached inside the drawer and grabbed the toy without even looking inside it.
Bonus: a cat at a base I served at really wanted to get into the war room one night (while I was currently on duty in it), and she managed to lean on the handle and open the door enough to enter.
Our Golden taught himself medical alerts. My wife broke her ankle when he was 6 months old, and the little glue puppy who followed me when I gave her meds started to let her know ahead of time that she would need meds, and even proactively bring her pill bottles.
Some refinement let him proactively stop mom from overdoing it, so he’s been instrumental in her recovery and PT.
Then like six months ago he started giving me pain alerts from no where when I was feeling ok. But invariably, every time he did, 30-60 minutes later I would get a headache. So now I just listen to him and my bad headaches have dropped to almost zero, because I’ll take some coffee and NSAIDs when he alerts.
He also broadly gets the concept of “pills make people feel better in a little bit”. He’ll stop alerting for about 20 minutes if you take pills (or pantomime taking pills because you’re busy or something). Then if you faked him out he’ll alert again in 20-30 minutes lol.
He’s one of the smartest dogs I’ve ever met in the “cause and effect generalizes to X” sort of way. (He also is super confident and pretty sure that the world is made of sunshine, rainbows, and friends so is conversely really dumb in risk assessment, like will fall off the bed because he’s sure he’ll be caught kind of way)
My German shepherd mic is a high energy hell raiser that you’d think is dumb as a biscuit, but has proved me wrong several times, especially as an escape artist. There was one that shocked me more than any other.
My neighborhood had been having a rash of break-in during covid lock down. Neighborhood teens mostly being bored it seemed. One day while I was at work, they tried to get in the back door, and in true guard dog fashion she went ballistic at the door, barking growling and gnawing the door handle to the point of leaving bite marks.
Invader successfully ran off, now she’s just so fucking excited she has to pee. I’m at work for another 3 hours and she can’t get outside. What does this doofus do? Breaks into the bathroom (that she has watched me pee in repeatedly) and jump up on the tiny guest bathroom vanity and pees in the sink. I fully believe that if I left toilet lids open she’d have peed in the toilet that day.
I was impressed when my shepherd-mix carried a trashcan with chicken leftovers to me, because he couldn’t open it but I could. He didn’t get his wish though.
