GAZA CITY, GAZA—The complicity of each and every Palestinian in the violent actions of their militant ruling authority was reportedly on full display Friday morning when dying Gazans received justified criticism for not using their last words to condemn Hamas. For example, instead of issuing a full-throated denunciation of the violent attacks by Hamas that have left over 1,300 Israelis dead, one dying woman holding her 6-year-old son who had just been killed in a bombing is said to have doubled down by telling her child she loved him. According to reports, such barbarism on the part of Palestinians was on full display across the Gaza Strip, where many men of fighting age could not muster a single world of reproof for Hamas’ actions while they coughed up blood. In war-ravaged Gaza City, a dying reporter was heard blatantly begging for help instead of labeling Hamas a terrorist organization. At press time, the Israeli Defense Forces Twitter account underscored the massive surge of contempt they were contending with by posting a video that featured the shocking savagery of a Palestinian corpse that refused to condemn Hamas even when kicked.

link: https://www.theonion.com/dying-gazans-criticized-for-not-using-last-words-to-con-1850925657

      • RQG
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        711 months ago

        Sadly? I’m not sure either is better than the other tbh.

        • NoneOfUrBusiness
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          1911 months ago

          I mean an actual war would at least force Israel to think twice before trying to genocide Palestinians for the umpteenth time.

          • TigrisMorte
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            511 months ago

            It is like Hollywood trying to make the same movie over and over because the first one was a success and copying it is easy.

        • @[email protected]
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          511 months ago

          You’re right, both are sad. genocidal bombing of a largely defenseless people (backed by some of the most powerful nations in the world) somehow really gets me down

  • @[email protected]
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    11 months ago

    Holy shit

    …one dying woman holding her 6-year-old son who had just been killed in a bombing is said to have doubled down by telling her child she loved him.

  • Cap
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    6811 months ago

    “…the shocking savagery of a Palestinian corpse that refused to condemn Hamas even when kicked.” Absolute gold!

    • @[email protected]
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      4811 months ago

      The Onion has given even fewer fucks with this one than usual and it’s been brutally chef’s kiss.

      • @[email protected]
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        3111 months ago

        I think they are hitting harder than usual to point out what no one is saying: the IDF and Hamas are going to murder civilians in their little pissing match and there’s nothing the world can do about it.

        I honestly don’t want to see anything more about it on TV. It’s like gun violence in the US. The solution is simple but hard. No one wants to do it, so the problem continues.

        • BananaTrifleViolin
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          1511 months ago

          Totally agree.

          I do find the self censorship that goes on now extremely worrying though. There seems to be a zeitgeist around what you are and are not allowed to say, and the media and politicians go a long with it without challenging it.

          It’s like a blank cheque is being handed to Israel to do what they want in Gaza and the entire world is doing worse than just ignoring it - powerful people are actively endorsing it as if it’s a reasonable approach.

          Good on the Onion for at least trying to call out the stupidity of it all. But it won’t make any difference.

        • RQG
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          711 months ago

          You hit the nail on the head. It is obvious what needs to happen but it is also obvious that it won’t happen because nobody sees a way to make it happen.

  • @moistclump
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    5711 months ago

    Wow this is a tragedy and I’m not going to lie I was a little weary seeing an Israeli themed Onion but damn if they didn’t hit the nail on the head, recognizing the tragedy while making a fucking point.

    Heart breaking.

    • @Anamnesis
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      1611 months ago

      Did you mean “wary” here or were you just tired of seeing onion articles about Israel?

    • @logicbomb
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      7411 months ago

      This is what satire is supposed to be.

      I recall seeing a criticism of the type of satire you see on shows like Saturday Night Live. They tend to prioritize the humor over everything to the point that the social commentary seems diminished. Often, you’ll see evil people portrayed as bumbling morons, for example.

      Satire is supposed to be social criticism done through humor, so if you don’t go for a knockout blow with the criticism, what’s the point?

      The real question is whether anything less than this is satire.

      • @[email protected]
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        1011 months ago

        Fair enough. I just felt this is the actual position of the colonizers, not an exaggeration of their stance.

        • @kameecoding
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          1011 months ago

          some of them probably think like this (or close to this) , that’s why it’s so good.

      • SokathHisEyesOpen
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        -111 months ago

        Satire is supposed to be social criticism done through humor, so if you don’t go for a knockout blow with the criticism, what’s the point?

        But if you forgo the humor then it’s just hyperbolic criticism, and I’m struggling to see anything humorous in this article.

        • @kameecoding
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          11 months ago

          if you struggle to see humor in he article maybe your funny bone is broken.

          According to reports, such barbarism on the part of Palestinians was on full display across the Gaza Strip, where many men of fighting age could not muster a single world of reproof for Hamas’ actions while they coughed up blood.

          how can you read this and not chuckle at the absurdity?

        • @Aqarius
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          911 months ago

          It’s a specific type of hyperbolic criticism. Kind of like weaponised sarcasm.

    • daed
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      211 months ago

      It reads so evil it sounds like propaganda but who knows

      • tryptaminev 🇵🇸 🇺🇦 🇪🇺
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        1511 months ago

        It is only propaganda in the eyes of those that decided barbaric terror is okay, if it is comitted by the right people with laser guided bombs instead of simple rifles.

  • Nougat
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    1811 months ago

    I legit ate that one. I would not be surprised.

  • Five
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    011 months ago

    Prominent journal editor fired for endorsing satirical article about Israel-Hamas conflict

    Michael Eisen, editor-in-chief of the prominent open access journal eLife and a longtime critic of traditional journals, says he is losing that job for publicly endorsing a satirical article that criticized people dying in Gaza for not condemning the recent attacks on Israel by the Palestinian group Hamas.

    “I have been informed that I am being replaced as the Editor in Chief of @eLife for retweeting a @TheOnion piece that calls out indifference to the lives of Palestinian civilians,” Eisen tweeted today. Multiple editors at eLife have already resigned to protest his dismissal.

    The furor began on 13 October when Eisen, a geneticist at the University of California, Berkeley, praised one of The Onion’s fake news stories on X, formerly Twitter. The story bore the headline “Dying Gazans Criticized For Not Using Last Words To Condemn Hamas.” Eisen said “The Onion speaks with more courage, insight and moral clarity than the leaders of every academic institution put together. I wish there were a @TheOnion university.”

    Criticism of Eisen, who is Jewish, immediately erupted, but the scientist, who is known for being provocative, did not retreat. A day later, he tweeted, “Every sane person on Earth is horrified and traumatized by what Hamas did and wants it to never happen again. All the more so as a Jew with Israeli family. But I am also horrified by the collective punishment already being meted out on Gazans, and the worse that is about to come. …The Onion is not making light of the situation. And nor am I. These articles are using satire to make a deadly serious point about this horrific tragedy.”