• @phoneymouse
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      1 year ago

      Come Mr. Bankman, bank me crypto-bonanza…

    • @jeffwOP
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      131 year ago

      slow clap

      • The Assman
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        171 year ago

        Steal? No, it’s a clever business model where I convince you to buy dogshit because dogshit will be worth x10 next month and I’m definitely not dumping all my dogshit once you poors drive the price up.

        • Chetzemoka
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          81 year ago

          No, it’s the even more clever business model where I convince half my employees that if they just work a few extra minutes a day off the clock or work through their legally mandated lunch breaks, but still allow me to automatically deduct their pay for the break, then someday I’ll notice all their hard work and reward them for it… someday.

          Friendly reminder that wage theft outweighs all other robberies combined:

          https://www.workingnowandthen.com/blog/wage-theft-the-50-billion-crime-against-workers/

      • @ikidd
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        101 year ago

        It’s encouraged!

      • @ours
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        61 year ago

        Minor fines may be involved and a stern “that’s a no-no!” from a regulatory organization.

      • andrew
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        1 year ago

        Especially if you’re rich! In fact it’s much safer that way.

  • @ShittyBeatlesFCPres
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    611 year ago

    I would simply have not given real money to some company in the Bahamas in exchange for a token and a promise the token would be good for more money later. But I’m street smart like that.

    • @ours
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      211 year ago

      They didn’t make their own crypto coin.

      I remember finding them in a list where they offered something like 8% interest if you deposited your bitcoins with them which was still fishy as hell. It looked like a sweet deal but I wondered how they managed to do that sustainably. I guess the answer was “they didn’t”.

      • @Raiderkev
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        321 year ago

        I think you’re thinking about Celsius. SBF absolutely had his own coin, and it is tantamount to the whole FTX collapse. Their competitor owned a shit load of it, it was called FTT iirc. He then just decided to tweet out that they were selling all their FTT, and then everyone started selling FTT which started a run on the token.

        The company also pumped FTT and other tokens value through their hedge fund Alameda research. The man deserves every last day of sentencing.

        • @ours
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          101 year ago

          I think you’re right. I must be mixing up all these crypto-based scams.

          • @Raiderkev
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            31 year ago

            It’s almost like crypto itself is one giant Ponzi scheme?! Forget I said that. It’s tHe FutUrE

          • @Raiderkev
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            21 year ago

            Also, be glad you didn’t put money in Celsius. I have a friend that did for the interest that they were offering. It worked… Til it didn’t. He lost $50k.

      • @[email protected]
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        81 year ago

        Yet people do the same thing with literal U.S. dollars and we think nothing of it when banks lose billions gambling our money in the stock market. 🤔

        Or open credit cards in their customers’ names without their consent.

        Or tear down whole economies with no consequences. Or take almost complete control of the housing market and turn Americans into serfs. Or…

        Strange, that that fat fuck is only being held accountable because he used bitcoins to do the same things banks do on the regular. Strange indeed…

        • @[email protected]
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          81 year ago

          People absolutely think something about it when it happens, and hell sometimes the government even does something about it (as demonstrated in the article you linked). Just a whole lot of us would argue they don’t do enough about it.

          • @[email protected]
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            41 year ago

            I’m not actually defending Sam Bankman-Fried. I’m pointing out the obvious hypocrisy in the system. Both that fat fuck and actual bank execs need to waste away in prison cells.

  • @[email protected]
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    1 year ago

    This was basically a forgone conclusion, but it ought to teach a lesson, “not your keys, not your coins”. an exchange is like a public toilet you get in, do your business, and get the fuck out you don’t stay in a public toilet.

      • @[email protected]
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        01 year ago

        They are appealing to human nature because it is absolutely human nature to gamble in the hopes of winning big and these scammers take serious advantage of that. Something for nothing is always extremely interesting.

      • @[email protected]
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        121 year ago

        I have an account with Coinbase, but I put dollars in and I pull crypto out as soon as it’s available and wouldn’t you believe it? I’ve never lost any money doing it that way.

        • @[email protected]
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          1 year ago

          I don’t mess with crypto but why would people leave it in FTX/Coinbase? is it cheaper for trades and stuff?

          • @[email protected]
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            1 year ago

            because most people are using crypto incorrectly as a speculative asset where it’s meant to be used as a currency. What people should be doing is buying it and then taking it and spending it. Whereas what they are doing is they are buying it, hoping that the price goes up in terms of dollars or euros or yen or whatever and selling it. Those sorts are not what I would consider real crypto people. They are just using it as some sort of stock. What real crypto people want to see is the government and central banks no longer able to fuck people out of their money through inflation, taxation, and manipulation of the money supply. The good cryptos All have a completely predictable money supply. Hard-coded into their core so you always know how much there will be at any given time.

            • @[email protected]
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              101 year ago

              I tried buying something using crypto on Coin base back in the day. Signed up, transferred $100 into Eth, had to wait two or three days for Coinbase to do their due diligence or whatever, and then it was down 50% by the time I could use it. (I think China banned crypto or something?) I just pulled out my credit card and bought the item directly, and never touched crypto again

              • @[email protected]
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                -51 year ago

                The problem is that the item you were buying was priced in terms of fiat currency, such as dollars or euros. When items are priced in crypto, then they don’t fluctuate, because, for example, one bitcoin will always be one bitcoin, no matter what. Whereas a dollar will not always be a dollar. A dollar in 1914 would have bought a lot more than a dollar does today. The three good monies are silver, gold, and crypto. The first two can only be manipulated by going into space and getting asteroids to get more, and the third can only be manipulated by worldwide community consensus, which is really hard to obtain.

                • @[email protected]
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                  31 year ago

                  But with a hard coded money supply, you cannot control inflation. The inflation won’t be in terms of dollars, it’ll be in the number of coins required to buy whatever, you know like how inflation doesn’t make euros less valuable versus dollars, it makes euros less valuable versus bread

              • @[email protected]
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                -71 year ago

                Now imagine central bank halving their value to reduce inflation. Its the same thing but you don’t have any control over the money you earned spending the time you did to earn that money. If there was an alternate currency which is not controlled by any government or inflation of a single government that crypto currency.

            • Echo Dot
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              71 year ago

              My brother-in-law is obsessed with cryptocurrency. He keeps going on about a fiat and how it isn’t a fiat, or something. I don’t listen to that 90% of the things he says, so I’m not that clear.

              He’s also a massive anti-vaxxer.

              It’s like being an idiot in one area of your life predisposes you to be an idiot in another era of your life. Who knew?

  • @[email protected]
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    1 year ago

    He is set to be sentenced by Judge Lewis Kaplan on March 28th of next year and faces decades in prison.

    What a tease. Hurry up!

  • @MisterChief
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    431 year ago

    “Originally placed under house arrest, he was sent to jail in August for violations of his bail conditions, including using a VPN to watch a football game and leaking the diary entries of his ex-girlfriend”

    Ok I get the diary, that’s shitty…but using a VPN to watch football? That’s a normal Saturday afternoon.

    • @[email protected]
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      361 year ago

      Not when you could be also using that vpn to communicate with people without them knowing

    • Tar_Alcaran
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      241 year ago

      When you’ve got bail conditions on the order of roughly a lifetime’s income riding on not using a VPN, I think you can skip football for a while.

    • Echo Dot
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      1 year ago

      leaking the diary entries of his ex-girlfriend

      August 4th
      Dear diary, I have tried once again in vain to get Sam to get a decent haircut. In the movie of your life you’re going to be played by Jesse Eisenberg, the least you could do is move over to his default haircut. It’s only courteous.

      Unless he listens not.

  • uphillbothways
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    1 year ago

    Can we do some more CEOs and bankers, now? Start a trend. Keep the ball rolling. Puhleeeze.

      • peopleproblems
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        51 year ago

        And they’ll continue to commit fraud until they can’t kick the can anymore. Then they kick us because they have everything anyway.

        • @SuckMyWang
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          11 year ago

          No they won’t. There’s way more of us. They’ll take serious action and make heavy weights testify before congress. Court cases will follow and the news and speculation will be dizzying. Then as the trials slowly work their way through the courts they will be found not guilty or face mild slaps on the wrist or have to resign from ceo to a lesser role like vice ceo. And which ever rich person stole the most from other rich people will be thrown to wolves and the cycle will continue for another decade.

  • Pxtl
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    291 year ago

    So, will all the conservative chuds who were convinced he was going to walk because he donates to the Democrats do any kind of follow-up on that theory?

  • @[email protected]
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    291 year ago

    Try to incite an insurrection and steal an election: you’ll walk away with no consequences.

    Steal money from the rich: you will burn.

    • @[email protected]
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      61 year ago

      See Anna Sorokin, or Elizabeth Holmes.

      Or for the elders among us, Nick Leeson. He didn’t even steal the money, he just fucked up.

      • @andros_rex
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        21 year ago

        Has Holmes even gone to jail yet? She got knocked up twice to dodge prison

  • @Devouring
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    271 year ago

    Not your keys, not your coins

    Not your keys, not your coins

  • @[email protected]
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    1 year ago

    He should have committed to the personality.

    He should have been playing League of Legends, bronze tier, on a laptop during the trial, while wearing cargo shorts and sipping whatever his silly energy drink was.

    • @AtmaJnana
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      41 year ago

      Definitely. I’m sure the court would be happy to throw in a contempt charge on top of his sentence for fraud.

  • @mawkishdave
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    201 year ago

    That is what happens when you steal from the rich.

  • @Anonymousllama
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    191 year ago

    Finally some actual good news for a change, let me break out the bubbles! 🍾🥂

    • @waz
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      111 year ago

      While reading your comment I somehow managed to overlook the emojis initially and I just pictured you running outside with a bubble wand and a container of soapy water to celebrate.