• Seraph
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    331 year ago

    John Deere™ Tractor Beam

    No you can’t repair it on your own - you have to bring it to a licensed repair shop.

  • Bappity
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    1 year ago

    data turns around
    “captain, did I execute humour successfully?”

    • The Picard ManeuverOP
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      1 year ago

      (I almost chose this pic for the last frame instead, but I loved Picard’s dumbfounded face too much)

      • Bappity
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        1 year ago

        Captain’s Log. Stardate 23170.6
        I have growing concerns about commander data’s new emotion chip, as he is struggling to understand the nuances and subjectivity of humour.

        Yesterday morning, he placed a dangerously high concentration of laxatives in commander LaForge’s beverage and later, followed him into the latrine, just to deliver a punchline about Geordi not knowing whether to shit or go blind.

        Doctor Crushers medical report stated that Geordi spent six hours on the toilet and was so dehydrated after, that he required an IV drip and an overnight stay in sickbay, where he continued to have explosive and uncontrollable diarrhea throughout the night.

        Because data is the only crew member who could enter sickbay without violently vomiting, I ordered him to spend the day cleaning and sanitising the mess Geordi left behind.

        In more ways than one, I guess you could say that he is in deep shit. Now that is funny.

        Anyway. Commander LaForge is feeling marginally better today, but is still quite angry and had to be restrained by security after attempting to dispatch data from the ships airlock. I have put them on opposite shifts to avoid further contact.

      • NaibofTabr
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        81 year ago

        I think Data just sitting there like everything is normal is perfect for the ending.

        • verity_kindle
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          21 year ago

          The closer your pelvis is to someone’s face, the more leadership they get. That’s what they taught at the Academy and that’s good enough for my pelvis.

  • @MajorHavoc
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    261 year ago

    It’s perfect!

    I’ve wanted to see someone make this since the first time I heard “engage the tractor beam”.

    Of course, I was probably like 5. Then again, my humor hasn’t progressed that much since then anyway.

    • The Picard ManeuverOP
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      211 year ago

      I finally got your letter in the mail. It just took forever for the post office to discern your 5 y/o handwriting.

  • teft
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    171 year ago

    This could be a Mel Brooks plotline.

    • @ArcaneGadget
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      31 year ago

      Would feel right at home in Spaceballs. Has similar energy to “jamming the radar”.

  • @[email protected]
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    131 year ago

    This is why I prefer physical buttons over touchscreens in my starships. Happens all the time.

      • @marcos
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        81 year ago

        Well, loud-voice-only password entry is probably the best invention on all of those series.

  • @CADmonkey
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    1 year ago

    “Too strong, Mr. Data, use the Kubota B5100 setting”

  • @[email protected]
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    71 year ago

    Anyone else have Ukrainian farmers come to mind?

    Not that I’m suggesting mixing in a political war meme here, but that’s what popped up first for me.

  • @[email protected]
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    61 year ago

    Fun fact I heard from an employee a year or so ago.

    When contractors for John Deere are hired to become full JD employees they call the process “getting a green card” on account of the new ID badge’s color.

  • @KnightontheSun
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    61 year ago

    Well, they can’t all be winners, but I still enjoyed it.

      • @KnightontheSun
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        81 year ago

        Nothing unfortunate about it.

        You. We like you.

      • verity_kindle
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        41 year ago

        Warp 9 to Planet Kubota, there are ripe right-to-repair maidens to be rescued!