Like you I’m in a third category. For me cilantro isn’t soapy, it’s just wildly overpowering. If it’s in a dish, it’s the only thing I will taste that meal. It can be really low in a list of ingredients and still the only thing I taste. I want to like cilantro, but it’s too abusive to the other flavors in and meal for my predisposition.
Similar struggle. I told my folks (they live 2hrs away and I see them every 2 mo.) that they need to choose: a relationship with me or talking about politics. At first I gave a couple warnings, but after maybe 3 or 4 times. I reiterated, me or politics, and left without another word. Works with phone calls too. “Did you hear what Bide” click - I hang up.
Treat them like dogs - they’re trainable. If you abruptly leave or hang up every time, eventually they’ll get the hint. If not, they’ve made their choice and if it’s not you, then you’ll need to move on.
I didn’t travel 2 hours to talk about someone I’ll never meet. Let’s talk about ourselves and what’s new in our lives. What’s going on in the garden, what’s new in the office, whatever happened to what’s-her-name you used to hang out with.