I mean, you can’t just get fit and expect someone to come knocking on your door. If you are feeling good about your looks now, that’s an accomplishment you can be happy about, and should, but it doesn’t send out some secret signal that you are ready for a relationship. You have to talk to actual people. You can meet them out in the world or on an app, you can also tell any friends you have that you are looking to start dating, network. I think friends of friends and dating apps are the most usual ways of getting dates now. When I was young we just hung out in groups and some people always people ended up paired off, didn’t really date per se, but my kids don’t seem to do that as much.
So basically - now you are happy about your physical shape, you still have to reach out to people, that is the next step.
I’m not. It took me almost 4 years to have a normal BMI, yet I’m still super skinny, my face is still horrible, and I’m not even that good at weight lifting (bench-pressing 60kg is terrible).
You have to talk to actual people.
Who? And say what?
This “advice” is always repeated by people like you, yet they can’t answer the most basic question about it.
you can also tell any friends you have that you are looking to start dating, network.
They know, but what can they do about it?
dating apps
I used several apps for 2 years and got nothing. Maybe a match every six months. Those apps are scams anyway; I know for a fact Tinder shadowbans accounts of people they deem too ugly. I did an experiment with a friend once; we both set our search perimeter to less than a kilometer. I could see her account, but she couldn’t see mine.
you still have to reach out to people
Again: who? Say what? I asked that question to several people over the years, both IRL and on Reddit/Lemmy, and NEVER got an answer.
You are talking to us here, now. I know you do rock climbing and weight lifting. If you have friends, you talk to them too. It’s not different from that. You are doing it already. There’s not a formula.
What friends can do is tell their friends you are a great guy and introduce you to other people. That’s what networking is, the same way you network computers, you network human relationships, by connecting them.
You are talking to us here, now. I know you do rock climbing and weight lifting. If you have friends, you talk to them too. It’s not different from that. You are doing it already. There’s not a formula.
I did not randomly send you a DM. We were both on the same thread (so a conversation subject was already decided), and the very structure of Lemmy makes it acceptable to reply to random people in various threads, with the added benefit of it being in written form. Real life is very different; I can’t just listen to conversations people I don’t know are having, and randomly interject when I feel I have something relevant to say.
What friends can do is tell their friends you are a great guy and introduce you to other people. That’s what networking is, the same way you network computers, you network human relationships, by connecting them.
I understand what that is, but it cannot work. I know one tried at least twice to hook me up with someone. They do not have the power to fix me. No one does.
I mean, you can’t just get fit and expect someone to come knocking on your door. If you are feeling good about your looks now, that’s an accomplishment you can be happy about, and should, but it doesn’t send out some secret signal that you are ready for a relationship. You have to talk to actual people. You can meet them out in the world or on an app, you can also tell any friends you have that you are looking to start dating, network. I think friends of friends and dating apps are the most usual ways of getting dates now. When I was young we just hung out in groups and some people always people ended up paired off, didn’t really date per se, but my kids don’t seem to do that as much.
So basically - now you are happy about your physical shape, you still have to reach out to people, that is the next step.
I’m not. It took me almost 4 years to have a normal BMI, yet I’m still super skinny, my face is still horrible, and I’m not even that good at weight lifting (bench-pressing 60kg is terrible).
Who? And say what?
This “advice” is always repeated by people like you, yet they can’t answer the most basic question about it.
They know, but what can they do about it?
I used several apps for 2 years and got nothing. Maybe a match every six months. Those apps are scams anyway; I know for a fact Tinder shadowbans accounts of people they deem too ugly. I did an experiment with a friend once; we both set our search perimeter to less than a kilometer. I could see her account, but she couldn’t see mine.
Again: who? Say what? I asked that question to several people over the years, both IRL and on Reddit/Lemmy, and NEVER got an answer.
You are talking to us here, now. I know you do rock climbing and weight lifting. If you have friends, you talk to them too. It’s not different from that. You are doing it already. There’s not a formula.
What friends can do is tell their friends you are a great guy and introduce you to other people. That’s what networking is, the same way you network computers, you network human relationships, by connecting them.
I did not randomly send you a DM. We were both on the same thread (so a conversation subject was already decided), and the very structure of Lemmy makes it acceptable to reply to random people in various threads, with the added benefit of it being in written form. Real life is very different; I can’t just listen to conversations people I don’t know are having, and randomly interject when I feel I have something relevant to say.
I understand what that is, but it cannot work. I know one tried at least twice to hook me up with someone. They do not have the power to fix me. No one does.