Spoiler alert: It’s a research program for over 20 years at Northeastern University to understand the impact of steroid abuse in teens.
Spoiler alert: It’s a research program for over 20 years at Northeastern University to understand the impact of steroid abuse in teens.
Here’s a fun game: describe your research/interest in a similar way that Fox/Republicans use to describe research. The more misleading it is from the actual research, the better.
I’ll start: watch how tired mice get when they get sick
(determine the mechanism of how microbial contact affects host circadian rhythms)
Even that wasn’t quite clickbaity and broken enough.
I studied whether we could operate dump trucks on mars.
(Super hydraulic fluid based rover systems)
My friend made moss in jars for air conditioning.
(Super endothermic moss for cooling, oxygen and protein development in space)
You gave mice the flu and asked them to sleep.
I study how fast poison leaking into the ground is cleaned up by microbes, and how it’s possible to protect drinking water sources from that poison.
I honestly don’t know how to phrase that so it sounds ridiculous or useless.
You watch trash water drain into dirt
Researchers spend $X to find out if poison kills microbes.
That just sounds like antibiotic research.
Researchers spend $X to find out if microbes kill poison
I’ll take a stab at it.
“Researchers spend $X to see whether poison leaking into the ground gets into our water.”
Researchers Poison Groundwater!
No, that would implicitly admitthat pollution happens, which would never occur on Fox. Better version might be “see if dirt absorbs poison”
Researchers spend $X trying to poison groundwater, thankfully foiled by bacteria.
Oh that’s easy. You’re the one turning Frogs gay.
Shit, you got me.
My company charged the government billions of dollars for a camera that takes hours to take one photo.
JWST?
Yup!
Is Skynet upon us? Communist robots now get to think faster with new brain!
I’m researching heterogeneous cores embedded systems for robotics running open source software. ><
My company costs the government billions each year for weapons that haven’t been used in nearly 80 years. Talk about inefficiency!
Nukes and nuclear nonproliferation.
Shout-out to republican department of energy head Rick Perry who wanted to get rid of the DOE thinking it was just solar panels and windmills. TEXAS MAN THINK GOVERNMENT ENERGY BAD.
Like all god-fearing men, they are afraid of invisible powers that actually work!
You seriously (I’m dead serious) need to pitch this as a game show to Netflix.
Already recorded and cancelled.
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