Spoiler alert: It’s a research program for over 20 years at Northeastern University to understand the impact of steroid abuse in teens.
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Rand Paul is just mad if scientists keep investigating someone is going to realize the only thing going on in his head is two hampsters boxing.
Why not
they don’t give a shit about kids, after they’re born that is
Here’s a fun game: describe your research/interest in a similar way that Fox/Republicans use to describe research. The more misleading it is from the actual research, the better.
I’ll start: watch how tired mice get when they get sick
(determine the mechanism of how microbial contact affects host circadian rhythms)
My company costs the government billions each year for weapons that haven’t been used in nearly 80 years. Talk about inefficiency!
Nukes and nuclear nonproliferation.
Shout-out to republican department of energy head Rick Perry who wanted to get rid of the DOE thinking it was just solar panels and windmills. TEXAS MAN THINK GOVERNMENT ENERGY BAD.
Like all god-fearing men, they are afraid of invisible powers that actually work!
My company charged the government billions of dollars for a camera that takes hours to take one photo.
JWST?
Yup!
Even that wasn’t quite clickbaity and broken enough.
I studied whether we could operate dump trucks on mars.
(Super hydraulic fluid based rover systems)My friend made moss in jars for air conditioning.
(Super endothermic moss for cooling, oxygen and protein development in space)You gave mice the flu and asked them to sleep.
Is Skynet upon us? Communist robots now get to think faster with new brain!
I’m researching heterogeneous cores embedded systems for robotics running open source software. ><
I study how fast poison leaking into the ground is cleaned up by microbes, and how it’s possible to protect drinking water sources from that poison.
I honestly don’t know how to phrase that so it sounds ridiculous or useless.
You watch trash water drain into dirt
Researchers spend $X to find out if poison kills microbes.
That just sounds like antibiotic research.
Researchers spend $X to find out if microbes kill poison
I’ll take a stab at it.
“Researchers spend $X to see whether poison leaking into the ground gets into our water.”
Researchers Poison Groundwater!
No, that would implicitly admitthat pollution happens, which would never occur on Fox. Better version might be “see if dirt absorbs poison”
Oh that’s easy. You’re the one turning Frogs gay.
Shit, you got me.
Researchers spend $X trying to poison groundwater, thankfully foiled by bacteria.
Always nice to see a fellow circadian researcher in the wild. Be curious, be critical, and most of all, bmal!
You seriously (I’m dead serious) need to pitch this as a game show to Netflix.
Already recorded and cancelled.
Republicans and intellectual dishonesty
I look forward to watching the federal govt give 5mil to newly formed X Research to determine if Christianity should be taught in school as the one true religion.
Why aren’t they televising it? They could fund the entire university. Heck, partner up with those sketchy betting apps and do studies on addiction
Yeah this is fucking awesome, regardless of impact.
I am, however, torn between the idea of roided up hamsters punching each other with boxing gloves and the knowledge of the reality that they probably just ate each other alive so after a certain point it was just animal abuse.
The trick is to keep recording until just before that point
Unchecked misinformation and algorithmic control of people’s eyes and brains will be the collapse of civilization before climate change does us in.
That seems to be so common of a theme in theirs… Testing narcotics on animals to make predictions of how they impact humans is constantly being used as a chilling and watching animals take drugs". The idea that there’s solutions to drug use that might be more effective than throw drug users into private prisons to do slave labor seems quite lost on these people.
Let’s be accurate here, private slavery companies.
stuff like this I actually don’t mind.
Someone had to look at these research papers - assuredly more than one - about (in this case) the effects of steroid abuse in teens. They had to understand the gist of that research. Then they had to create a pithy one liner that conveys that gist, albeit arguably dishonestly.
That’s way better than “windmills cause cancer” or “migrants are eating pets.”
I’m all for the trend of badly summarizing important clinical research, because we can correct that. At least we have a better chance of correcting that than pure lies.
I honestly read this and saw no problem
Like that seems important enough to research lol
