You’re a godless commie. I’m a godless American obsessed with ketchup.

Agree 1000%. I often say there is only one use for ketchup:
When you ordered fries and they’re so soggy and cold that they’re inedible yet you’re too butthurt about the price to throw them away and there are no other dippings available.

I agree, I love ketchup, but would not put it in this.