Referencing an unpopular future possibility - “that’ll go over like a turd in a punch bowl”

Describing something you don’t miss - “I miss that like I’d miss a case of the clap”

Rain coming in at a weird angle - “this rain is like a cow pissing on a flat rock”

When someone says they wish some specific thing would happen - “wish in one, shit in the other, see which one fills up first”

When you’re unenthusiastic about something - “I’d rather shit in my hands and clap”