21 year old German here.
This question is for Americans who have been to Germany before (or might’ve had any interaction with Germans). And I know there are a lot of Americans on this platform who bash and hate on their own country but I hope to get an answer that’s as truthful and unbiased as possible.
So as someone who’s very sensitive I always felt like people here are way too cruel and direct. It’s a prevalent stereotype that Germans are very direct and cold. I know that a big part of this is my own perception and mental state that will cause these types of perceptions independent from the country because there will always be assholes.
But I wonder if it could be true that some of my observation might actually be because Germans might actually be more cruel. If you guys are really honest I wonder if it is possible that Americans might be slightly more nice than Germans and which country you think is actually more cruel in general. (Hope this question is not too stupid)
I haven’t been to Germany, but my family has a large portion of Pennsylvania German that haven’t given up all the old ways of things. I’ve always felt rather similar to the feelings you describe.
From things I’ve come across, Germany in the 1800s and first half of the 1900s really focused on a conservative and staunchly obedient household structure. I mostly remember growing up being a matter of “do what I say and don’t talk back” more than any concern for me as a child. My grandparents were very nice to me though.
I’m twice as old as you, but even so, that period of time isn’t so long ago that it isn’t still rippling down in its effects on people raised that way.
I don’t think I’ve met many other families that have been as emotionally detached as mine, though I feel others’ families always look happier than our own, because we know more things our own family are guilty of.
Being raised how I was has definitely had negative effects on me. I’m still largely insecure and have difficulties being proud of myself or my accomplishments. I don’t trust my family the way I do my friends.
I don’t feel it’s any particular thing about the German people. I’ve met some very nice Germans online, and nobody should be lumped into a group anyway. After all, you are German, but you don’t want to be the way you feel everyone else around you is. We all have the opportunity to break the chain of doing to others what has been done to us. Our elders may have been raised in a time of unfortunate child psychology we have yet to free ourselves of, but that doesn’t make Germans any better or worse than Americans.
Man that sounds so much like me, so at least I’m not alone. Maybe it’s some curse about the Germans. I wouldn’t recommend judging people from just online though since that often is pretty misrepresentative from how they actually are. So even if some of the Germans were nice online, belief me there are a lot of not so nice Germans including my parents.
But you’re definitely right especially about the last part.
I can only judge people from how I get to see them act. For much of my life my family would say I was about worthless, and I don’t think that’s true, so I’d never want to do that to someone else. Everyone gets the benefit of the doubt to start with though.
Just do your best and you will eventually meet people who are the type of people you want. There might never be as many as you may hope, but they’re out there! I have some great friends I consider closer than my family, but most of us have been messed up a little along the way by someone or another. We just commiserate about what our families put us through. 🙄
Fwiw this sounds like it %100 could be written about Catholics too.
Lol yeah, that’s what the other side of my family is and it wasn’t much different. They seemed a little more emotionally connected and concerned about things other than just saying ignore it and move on, but neither side was very supportive, especially emotionally.