Your way of doing things is now how things must be done. Extra points for petty and minor stuff.

  • @[email protected]
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    11 hours ago
    1. We eating chips and popcorn with chopsticks now.

    You’re welcome for cleaner fingers and everything you touch with them.

    1. Beer ain’t getting served without some sorta pickle.

    2. Pets will be told about foods, walks, and treats in a foreign language as to prevent them getting excited about things they love during normal conversations

    3. More ducks than chickens. Duck eggs are better, duck meat is better, duck fat is better than schmaltz

    4. It’s now so wildly normal for men to wear crop tops

    You’re fucking welcome

    1. You’re getting paid for your commute time now. Your employer is covering tolls, transit passes etc.
    • @[email protected]
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      99 hours ago
      1. You’re getting paid for your commute time now. Your employer is covering tolls, transit passes etc.

      I wonder how fast they would start allowing work from home again.

      • @untorquer
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        5 hours ago

        Not that fast really. It’s pretty common in europe if you can ride a train and work en route. I’ve even seen people compensated for driving time & gas.

    • @[email protected]
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      1411 hours ago

      Pets will be told about foods, walks, and treats in a foreign language as to prevent them getting excited about things they love during normal conversations

      And this was how TheAlbatross’s Labrador became fluent in Croatian.

    • @shyguyblue
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      9 hours ago
      1. I love garlic stuffed olives, but have to eat them with chopsticks to slow myself down.

      2. My dogs love Pupperonis (one letter away from pepperoni), but I call them puppereenies so they don’t go ape shit when discussing toppings…

      Edit: Swipe typing is getting worse every day, fixed auto assumptions…

      • Hossenfeffer
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        28 hours ago

        And you’ve taught your dog to eat Pupperonis with chopsticks?

    • HEXN3T
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      17 hours ago

      You fool! I eat chips by pushing the bottom of the bag, then grabbing one with my mouth. No utensils required.

      • @[email protected]
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        410 hours ago

        Oh You’re so right. I had a salad with sliced chicken breast for lunch today that I ate with chopsticks. Soo much easier