Who hurt you as a child?

  • fubo
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    2 years ago

    My guesses:

    • Intoxication: They’re drunk or high enough that they’re not neurologically capable of aiming; the fact that they managed to get it out of their pants at all is astonishing.
    • Narcissism: They’re very important assistant sales managers, talking on their phone through the whole transaction, and aren’t paying attention to what they’re peeing on; just as they don’t remove their dirty dishes from the office meeting rooms after a lunch meeting. Aren’t the help supposed to do that?
    • Helplessness and/or disgust: The toilet was already filthy when they came in, and they didn’t think they were making it any worse.
    • Peevishness: They got yelled at by a scary janitor once for sticking gum under desks.
    • Boggy
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      2 years ago

      Don’t forget fragile masculinity and not wanting to sit down to piss because that’s how women do it.

      • morgan423
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        2 years ago

        Oh, you’ve got a behavior there, but the wrong motivation.

        I sit at home, but I don’t sit on public toilets precisely because dudes have been whizzing all over the seat.

      • mannycalavera@feddit.uk
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        2 years ago

        Ahhh you’re trying to culture war this when the actual reason is way more sensible and boring than that. Why sit on a potentially dirty toilet seat when you don’t have to? Why even squat above it when you don’t have to? It’s laziness / efficiency, dear, not… 🤣🤣🙄… fragile masculinity.

        • Sanctus
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          2 years ago

          I work in construction, half the men have dirty asses cause its gay to touch your asshole. I wish I was exaggerating.

      • evatronic@lemm.ee
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        2 years ago

        Fuck that, I love sitting down to piss. It’s like a free break AND I get to let the boys out for a few minutes?

        The only times I won’t are when the bathroom is already filthy, or the toilet water is too high and my junk goes for a dunk if I sit.

        • Boggy
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          2 years ago

          You either have an annoying plumbing problem or a massive piss lizard. I guess both is possible too.

            • Boggy
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              2 years ago

              Boggy is a yank, but the toilets are deep enough for the water. Europe toilets have so little water you just shit onto porcelain and it reeks. Then you have a jet engine flush that only someone’s gets all the shit off.

          • evatronic@lemm.ee
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            2 years ago

            I’m not going to brag, but my junk hangs low. I’m also in the US. Some toilets are ridiculously full by default, especially older models.

        • Esjee
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          2 years ago

          Legit can’t understand why anyone want to sit down to pee when it can be done standing up.

          As for the poor aim issue, get better.

    • FartsWithAnAccent
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      2 years ago

      Could be some sort of health condition maybe? Like, they had to have a spray nozzle grafted to their urethra?

    • Odusei
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      2 years ago

      You’re forgetting misfires can happen soon after ejaculation (and probably other things).