What happens when you do minimal screening before hiring agents, arming them, and sending them into the streets? We're all finding out.

I skipped the steps of the application process that would have clued the agency in on my lack of fitness for the position. I made no effort to hide my public loathing of the agency, what it stands for, and the administration that runs it. And they offered me the job anyway.

Archived copies of the article

    • Fedizen
      86·
      17 hours ago

      Things ICE agents shouldn’t do:

      • Download a virus on work computer
      • Accidentally drop cell keys into detainee areas
      • LSD in office coffee machine
      • Crash patrol vehicle into ocean
      • Arrest spouses of other ICE agents
      • Arrest all of Trump’s wives
      • Racially profile Kash Patel
      • Irrigate ammo storage areas
      • Disco Elysium stuff
      • Break into empty buildings with absentee landowners and leave them open.
      • Fake your arrest numbers
      • Deport MAGA immigrants
      • ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.oneEnglish
        9·
        13 hours ago

        I dunno about giving a bunch of unknowingly LSD who also happen to have access to guns and the ability to destroy lives. Seems like a bad idea.

        Now laxaitives or sediatives, that’s a different story. Cna’t shoot innocent people if you’re too busy shitting on the toilet or asleep at the wheel.

      • jayambi
        19·
        17 hours ago

        asking for a friendv does the LSD in the coffee machine work? i mean doesn’t it get burned or damaged?

          • Fedizen
            13·
            17 hours ago

            Good point. Only put LSD in a cold pot. I thought ergot survived baking but maybe there’s something that stabilizes LSD in that situation.

        • 7101334
          9·
          14 hours ago

          Yes, it works, but also yes, high temps will destroy LSD. So if it was a brand-new-scalding-hot pot, it would probably degrade. Would you still feel it? Idk. If it’s a lukewarm pot though, you’ll probably trip just fine.

          For informational purposes only, obviously.

          • JoeBigelow@lemmy.ca
            1·
            10 hours ago

            Ugh, poor guy. Being dosed can be a lot of fun given a handful of strict conditions, but otherwise it’s worse than battery IMO. I can’t imagine having no experience with LSD and being dosed at work.

      • blitzen@lemmy.ca
        31·
        16 hours ago

        Except the MAGA immigrant thing. Actually don’t do that. We shouldn’t be deporting anyone because of their politics.

        • Fedizen
          2·
          11 hours ago

          Its what they want. Sometimes you’re the guy wishing at the monkey paw, sometimes you’re the monkey paw.

      • BeeegScaaawyCripple
        1·
        15 hours ago

        actually, i’m thinking maybe joining ice could get me the drugs i need to live easier. also i could deport people to i don’t know honolulu