Your early relationship with your caregivers sets the stage for how you will build relationships as an adult. Your attachment style shows how you relate to other people.
I think it is about right and feel it is more a learnt experience, transistioning from trusting naivete to that.
It is difficult to trust when trust gets broken repeatedly and not taking the modern human experience into account. I think I have gotten emotional colder in that sense believed myself to “kill” my emotions after a particular bad case of trusting someone who I felt love for but was more a “game” for their part.
Different emotional levels in that case, innocent idealism naivete vs cold-hearted detachment.
Someone thawed that emotional issue out a little, although they too did their share of problems, but in the end the terms of ending the relationship were more amicable.
Now though, people who I get close to, I feel unworthy - life experience has burdened me and my inability to properly control or handle it.
I was more oblivious before, but in comparision I have let myself be burdened into the proverbial ground of rocks while they blossom in fertile soil and I dont wish to burden their lives with my problems - and I know I am like an “eeyore”(winnie the pooh reference) to be around at times - more times than I am comfortable with
And I guess that it makes sense in the “defence” mechanism I have worked into, where I have multiple emotional walls and a person needs to pass the layers of trust to gain access to deeper levels of trust which then leading feeling vulnerable of the inferiority when I develop trust
I hopefully kept it on topic, as I seem to have noticed that I have a tendency to be very verbose when writing and a tendecy to waffle on.
I am blaming it on my lack of human contact and having a medium I can express myself more accurately than verbal communication.
You’re definitely right that attachment styles are learned - we develop them based on how our caregivers treat us early in childhood (and they get more pronounced if we get treated the same in adulthood by our partners and friends).
Disorganized attachment can be seen in terms of having two very polarized parts: one badly wants to connect with people and the other is terrified of what that connection might bring, thus pushing people away. I wonder if you can relate to that.
I relate and from the the disorganised parts, I feel that I am developing more into someone wanting to connect with people with a sub component of being terrified of what that connection might bring when I feel like I get too close.
Probably is very conflicting but I guess I have become like that as a defence mechanism of trusting people and that trust being broken a lot as I feel I have trusted people too naively before and people have taken advantage of that.
In response I have probably adjusted to be more open to people to find a connection, have tried to cut back to slow my over-share tendency, tried to be aware of the context and those that survive the “weirdness” I feel guilty that I cannot be a positive influence on their life and would try not to burden them
I guess I have become like that as a defence mechanism of trusting people and that trust being broken a lot as I feel I have trusted people too naively before and people have taken advantage of that.
That makes sense. It’s hard to maintain trust in people if someone takes advantage of you. I hope you continue to move toward connection because humans need other humans.
So did the test and the results were:
deep breath -prepares essay
I think it is about right and feel it is more a learnt experience, transistioning from trusting naivete to that.
It is difficult to trust when trust gets broken repeatedly and not taking the modern human experience into account. I think I have gotten emotional colder in that sense believed myself to “kill” my emotions after a particular bad case of trusting someone who I felt love for but was more a “game” for their part.
Different emotional levels in that case, innocent idealism naivete vs cold-hearted detachment.
Someone thawed that emotional issue out a little, although they too did their share of problems, but in the end the terms of ending the relationship were more amicable.
Now though, people who I get close to, I feel unworthy - life experience has burdened me and my inability to properly control or handle it. I was more oblivious before, but in comparision I have let myself be burdened into the proverbial ground of rocks while they blossom in fertile soil and I dont wish to burden their lives with my problems - and I know I am like an “eeyore”(winnie the pooh reference) to be around at times - more times than I am comfortable with
And I guess that it makes sense in the “defence” mechanism I have worked into, where I have multiple emotional walls and a person needs to pass the layers of trust to gain access to deeper levels of trust which then leading feeling vulnerable of the inferiority when I develop trust
I hopefully kept it on topic, as I seem to have noticed that I have a tendency to be very verbose when writing and a tendecy to waffle on.
I am blaming it on my lack of human contact and having a medium I can express myself more accurately than verbal communication.
You’re definitely right that attachment styles are learned - we develop them based on how our caregivers treat us early in childhood (and they get more pronounced if we get treated the same in adulthood by our partners and friends).
Disorganized attachment can be seen in terms of having two very polarized parts: one badly wants to connect with people and the other is terrified of what that connection might bring, thus pushing people away. I wonder if you can relate to that.
Thank you for your reply,
I relate and from the the disorganised parts, I feel that I am developing more into someone wanting to connect with people with a sub component of being terrified of what that connection might bring when I feel like I get too close.
Probably is very conflicting but I guess I have become like that as a defence mechanism of trusting people and that trust being broken a lot as I feel I have trusted people too naively before and people have taken advantage of that.
In response I have probably adjusted to be more open to people to find a connection, have tried to cut back to slow my over-share tendency, tried to be aware of the context and those that survive the “weirdness” I feel guilty that I cannot be a positive influence on their life and would try not to burden them
That makes sense. It’s hard to maintain trust in people if someone takes advantage of you. I hope you continue to move toward connection because humans need other humans.