National security officials are used to shaking off absurd conspiracy theories, but the latest rumor that’s gripped MAGA world just hits different.

The claims by Fox News and far-right influencers that pop star Taylor Swift is part of a Pentagon “psychological operation” to get President Joe Biden reelected, and somehow rig the Super Bowl to benefit Kansas City Chiefs tight end (and Swift’s boyfriend) Travis Kelce, has been met with forehead slaps in the national security world.

“The absurdity of it all boggles the mind,” said one senior administration official, granted anonymity because they were not authorized to comment publicly on the matter. “It feels like one of those ‘tell me you are a MAGA conspiracy theorist, without telling me you are a MAGA conspiracy theorist’ memes.”

    • @EdibleFriend
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      5911 months ago

      Fuck if I know dude. I thought we had hit a low with bush. Then we went and elected a black man and holy ever living fuck did that break right-wing people. Just absolutely broke their fragile little minds and here we are.

      • @Leviathan
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        2811 months ago

        You guys need to elect a black man with a heavy inner-city accent who enacts serious change so you can break them all the way once and for all.

          • @Leviathan
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            2111 months ago

            Fuck, if only! Or a gay black man who does drag as a hobby.

            • @MojoMcJojo
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              711 months ago

              If they can negotiate on foreign policy and domestic policy, then they can work it.

            • @model_tar_gz
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              511 months ago

              He smokes cannabis daily as he pardons himself with every puff.

              • @Leviathan
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                311 months ago

                Disagree! Caffeine enema days could mean leaps and bounds in policy foreign and domestic!

        • @EdibleFriend
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          2111 months ago

          I was about to make a joke about President Camacho but then, I remembered, that fucker, that HORRIBLE PARODY OF A PRESIDENT, is so much better then what we got with Trump. Camacho saw some serious shit was going on and said ‘holy fuck lets let the smart guy fix this.’

          He recognized and openly admitted to his own shortcomings.

      • @Professorozone
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        1411 months ago

        Yeah but… ummm…you’re on the OTHER end of all our guns. No one is safe from our craziness.

      • @Retrograde
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        1211 months ago

        As a half Brit half American, Britain really hasn’t been really pulling many Ws recently either

          • @Retrograde
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            210 months ago

            It’s paradoxical, I throw the tea and it just spins in place in mid air

            Also it’s obviously spelled C̴͉͎̘̱͙̙̣̱̜̲̖̎̂̋̔ȍ̶̻͕̬̞̰̫̙̩̯̤̳́͊̒̚͜ͅl̷̨̹̺̳͔͉͇͎̻̐̐͌̽̾̀̉͐̈́̆͗̎̚̕œ̸̢͉̜̽͛̅̚ư̸̪͍̂͐̀̀̍r̶͈̮̲͉̀̓̏̋̈́͑̌̔̽͊́͘͝͠

        • CashewNut 🏴󠁢󠁥󠁧󠁿
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          411 months ago

          Doesn’t stop me being able to laugh at America. If you’re half British you should know one of our defining traits is self-deprecation. Britains Ls are eternal and everlasting and I will laugh at them all. But Americas - oh fuck yeah. They gimme a hearty laugh too!

          How does someone be half American? Where do you pledge your allegiance?

      • @theangryseal
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        611 months ago

        Until it reaches you in the form of a global economy collapse.

        Of course, China could be the savior, but would that really be a win?

        • CashewNut 🏴󠁢󠁥󠁧󠁿
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          -511 months ago

          Why would I care about Chinese hegemony? Sinophobia is more of a Yank fear. I really couldn’t give a shit.

          • @[email protected]
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            11 months ago

            You should. We all need an at least semi-democratic country at the top. We need the non-democratic authoritarian kind of governance to be seen to fail. Again. If American fail, we need Europe to start punching it’s weight even more. And unfortunately the crazy right (no doubt helped by enemies of freedom) is on the rise across Europe. Least in Britain, it looks like the nightmare might be over this election. It will take years to undo the economic and social damage they have done though.

            Edit: English

      • billwashere
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        511 months ago

        Except if the Cheeto Benito starts some shit somewhere in the world due to his excellent diplomatic skills god forbid he gets elected again, pretty sure we are all in the shitter.

      • @Clubbing4198
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        411 months ago

        until we drag the whole western world into a real fucking shit show. lets not forget how close tony blair and george w bush were when it came to handling iraq

      • @[email protected]
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        11 months ago

        Yeah, except most reality TV is 99% made-up bullshit that just impacts nothing outside the “participants” and water cooler gossip.

        Except Love on the Spectrum. Thats just wholesome AF.

    • @mods_are_assholes
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      511 months ago

      40 years of crippled public education and a media landscape owned by the wealthy elites that use it to push anything to distract us from the fact that our greatest enemy are billionaires.