• @samus12345
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    6911 months ago

    But what if they cremate you? Better be safe and also swallow some mercury zinc batteries so your corpse will explode during cremation if they go that route.

    • Dark Arc
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      2711 months ago

      I just wanted to say thanks … I’m having a bit of a bad day and that genuinely made me laugh out loud

      • @samus12345
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        911 months ago

        Glad to hear it. Hope things get better!

  • @[email protected]
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    6211 months ago

    How do you know it’s close to the end? Simple: just swallow plutonium dioxide and it sure will be.

  • Synapse
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    3611 months ago

    What about the “weird black mold” ? Is this something real ? Like some radiation resistant mold that has been observed ?

    • @cynar
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      11 months ago

      It might not be related, but they’ve found mold inside the reactor room of Chernobyl. Apparently it’s evolved a chlorophyll like molecule that captures gamma radiation. It’s literally living of the energy that makes the environment lethal to almost anything else (organic or electronic).

      https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radiotrophic_fungus#:~:text=Radiotrophic fungi are fungi that,the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant.

      Edit. Just checked and it’s not confirmed how it’s growing. They do know it grows significantly faster in a high radiation environment. They haven’t pinned down the exact biological mechanism.

      Oh, and yes, it’s black in colour.

        • @misterundercoat
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          3011 months ago

          I, for one, welcome our new gamma mold overlords.

          • @Bdtrngl
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            1111 months ago

            Couldn’t be any worse than the overlords we have now.

      • @[email protected]
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        411 months ago

        Badass. Was reading that thinking what about space applications. Sure enough there is a whole section on that in the wiki.

        Appreciate you sharing this. Was super interesting to read.

      • @[email protected]
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        11 months ago

        Wasn’t there some bacteria found in an uranium mine, enclosed for millions of years, that lives off gamma radiation too?

        edit: yep. Those things could survive without the sun.

        • @cynar
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          611 months ago

          Unlikely. Biochemistry, as we know it, relies on a carbon-carbon backbone. That breaks down long before the temperatures on the sun’s main outer layers. The electrons get stripped off, and chemistry, as we know it, stops working.

        • @BluesF
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          411 months ago

          Eating radiation is one thing, surviving those temperatures is another. I don’t even think tardigrades can survive that hot.

  • @aeronmelon
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    2111 months ago

    Wouldn’t swallowing plutonium dioxide be the reason you end?

    • @SasquatchBanana
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      2311 months ago

      They’re saying if you are lying in a hospital bed with a terminal diagnosis at the end of your days you should swallow the balloon.

      • @LesserAbe
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        1411 months ago

        You’re right. Also from what little I understand about radiation seems like you might want to take some more definitive action too rather than give the polonium time to finish the job. It would probably be more unpleasant than however else you were going to die

      • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet
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        711 months ago

        Where do I procure said balloon if I’m lying in a hospital bed at the end of my days?

        • @meliaesc
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          111 months ago

          Keep one in your pocket at all times.

    • Setarkus.LW
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      1511 months ago

      Either way, it’ll be shortly before the end. You can’t lose this one :D

  • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet
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    1711 months ago

    Or pay the graveyard to spray Roundup around your grave. That’s probably the easier of the two.

  • @niktemadur
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    511 months ago

    An ideal last prank for all you Andy Kaufman-types out there.

  • @Usernameblankface
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    311 months ago

    Companies that make sealed concrete vaults would like a word with you