“me at 4 am: i should get some water

me in my head: i can’t because five nights at freddy’s will be at. the fridge”

-straightboyfriend

(at least that’s what this reminded me of)

Proceeds to turn on every light including the closet

Nah, all the scary monsters are out in the daylight. The dark is fren.

Fear not the dark, my friend, and let the feast begin.

I don’t care. I’m ready for the scary creatures, the demons, the imps, and whatever else hell has in store to come and get me. I’ll embrace it. And maybe it’s a succubus who I’ll get to call mommy.

Shyamalan plot twist: the scary creature of the dark is you.

Reminder that we are not scared to be alone in the dark, but not be alone in the dark. Maybe an evolutionary impulse from the time night predators were a constant threat.

I don’t care, I’m the goddamn Batman.

Meh. My personal demons are pretty monstrous and have been chewing on me for decades. The night bears are tame by comparison.