• @[email protected]
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      294 months ago

      > Hi mom, hi dad! Meet my gf [redacted]!

      *whispering*

      > Yes, she’s a little bit dug up corpse, but don’t say that around her: she’s kinda sensitive about it.

      (Stolen from a random video/podcast)

      • Ignotum
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        84 months ago

        I also get upset when people say i look like a corpse,

        Just because i am one doesn’t mean you have to constantly point it out!

    • @MissJinx
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      94 months ago

      I mean, alive, consenting age, not Intellectually disable, not in a coma… also, we all know can"t be fat

  • AItoothbrush
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    454 months ago

    Not even that. If they are just feminine thats enough for me

  • callyral [he/they]
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    214 months ago

    Meanwhile, here are my Garfield requirements:

    1. is an orange cat

    2. is funny

    3. is part of a comic strip called “Garfield”

    • @TwentySeven
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      24 months ago

      My Garfield requirements are #1 and #3

  • @[email protected]
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    204 months ago

    And girls have the opposite problem. Too many guys out there who are interested, but no way to know which ones are good.

    • @TheGrandNagus
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      344 months ago

      Being a straight man looking for a partner is like dying of thirst in a desert.

      Being a straight woman looking for a partner is like dying of thirst at sea.

      • Constant Pain
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        274 months ago

        Is it because sea water is undrinkable?

      • @PeterPoopshit
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        4 months ago

        Life is too short to play that stupid game. It’s bullshit for everyone involved. I’m happy to be single.

        • @uis
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          14 months ago

          You make Darwin happy. Here’s your award.

    • volvoxvsmarla
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      134 months ago

      Maybe the main problem is that the guys who are interested are solely interested because the girls require their one and only requirement of being, well, female.

      • @[email protected]
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        4 months ago

        Yeah girls know the feelings for them comes from physical attraction, not so much from emotional attraction.

        But it depends very much. Hard to generalize this.

  • @[email protected]
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    4 months ago

    So closed-minded! I’m sure you could loosen a bit this criterium, think of all the cute cat-eared femboys available in your area.

    edit: typo

    • @dlpkl
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      234 months ago

      How is this different from a straight guy trying to seduce a lesbian?

      • @TheGrandNagus
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        4 months ago

        Call me crazy, but I think it was just a joke continuing along the lines of OPs “I’m not picky” joke, on a shitpost community, not a serious request to be OP’s partner.

        Like if I commented “eh if you’re fine being less picky, I, Dave, can be your girlfriend”, would I really be a weirdo sex pest like you’re making out? Or would I just be someone having a joke on the internet?

        • @Cryophilia
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          4 months ago

          That’s fair, but there’s also the context of some very aggressive “I can unstraighten you” peeps on the fediverse. Mostly femboys and trans women. They’re all over blahaj.

          • @[email protected]
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            -54 months ago

            i mean the idea that most people are straight is made up by modern society, why would modern people suddenly be ramrod straight when historically it’s all been rather wishy-washy?

            same goes for the idea that almost everyone fits into a perfect male/female binary, when historically it’s been much more nuanced than that and many many cultures very clearly had more categories than that.

            • @Cryophilia
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              -34 months ago

              Aww

              You’re like those poor Nation of Islam bastards who think Jesus and Mohammed were black. Desperately need to think that historically, you were the norm.

              Just embrace being different.

        • @dlpkl
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          24 months ago

          Definitely possible, but why would someone post a picture of themselves as the punchline? Out of millions of pictures they could have found online?

          And yes, I reverse Google searched it and it was original lmao. I’ve put way too much effort into this

          • @TheGrandNagus
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            4 months ago

            I mean, why not? If they already have the picture on their phone anyway, or are lying down wearing them, it’s probably more convenient than using somebody else’s

            I definitely don’t think the person was genuinely propositioning OP.

            I find it much more likely that they were messing around, same as everybody else here, and somebody took it seriously and got offended at the joke, as sometimes happens.

        • @dlpkl
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          4 months ago

          But it’s not about the femboys interest is it? The lesbian isn’t asking for the straight guy to change her sexual orientation, and the straight guy isn’t asking for the femboys to change his orientation. It’s just as rude.

          • @[email protected]
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            44 months ago

            Amazing we have come full circle to the point you need to make it relatable by explaining it this way

    • @Dasnap
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      94 months ago

      This is what Arlo’s legs actually look like.

      • @[email protected]
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        44 months ago

        just below the camera it just instantly cuts to full-sized human legs wearing thigh-highs, mercifully the transition is hidden by the miniskirt

    • Constant Pain
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      44 months ago

      They are pretty good at hiding in my area.

  • @PeterPoopshit
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    4 months ago

    You only date females? Wow that’s a really offensive and insensitive thing to say. Also unrealistic, as this criteria blocks out half of all people. Prepare to get cancelled /s