• @cmbabul
    link
    English
    4810 months ago

    I used to be a huge advocate for “boss makes a dollar, I make a dime, that’s why I shit on company time”, but now that I have a bidet at home, I would just as soon die that shit at the office. I’ll hold it until I get to a place where I can clean my asshole properly after

      • PaleRider
        link
        fedilink
        English
        7
        edit-2
        10 months ago

        Home is where the heart is you poop most comfortably you go when the Pub shuts.

      • @shneancy
        link
        English
        410 months ago

        home is where you poop most comportably

    • dindonmasker
      link
      fedilink
      English
      610 months ago

      Two words. Portable bidet. I have one everywhere i poop often and one to take with me for longer trips. They’re good and cheap so why not.

      • @MrJameGumb
        link
        English
        1710 months ago

        So you take an apparatus with you every time you use the bathroom away from home? I’m not judging, I’m just genuinely curious about how that works

        • @[email protected]
          link
          fedilink
          English
          310 months ago

          They are small. It’s like taking a phone around with you. For me they are not sufficient as a TP substitute but as an adjunct. I am partial to the Toto motorized one.

          • threelonmusketeers
            link
            fedilink
            English
            310 months ago

            What about splashback? Do they need to be cleaned? How does one transport them? I love bidets, but I’d feel icky tossing a portable one in a backpack along with my lunch…

            • @[email protected]
              link
              fedilink
              English
              310 months ago

              Keeps in a bag. Propels stream at an angle and waste water falls vertically down, so it’s not getting directly bathed in waste. It folds up and tip is concealed. I just wipe down tip with some TP.

    • @[email protected]
      link
      fedilink
      English
      410 months ago

      I’ve never in my life been a baby wipe user… Untill I got a bidet at home. Now I stock work with them just so I can clock those work hours.

      • @cmbabul
        link
        English
        210 months ago

        They are really bad for pipes, and I don’t give a fuck about my employers pocket book, but I don’t want the poor custodial staff of the building to have to unclog pipes because of my asshole.

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    English
    1410 months ago

    Ok, so I get the meme/reference - but I can’t relate at all and need to ask. Is this a real thing?

    I started drinking coffee only 5-6 years ago, have 2-3 cups in the morning. Sometimes nothing else, sometimes a little food. I have NEVER had to “run to the bathroom” due to coffee. Except to pee all the water out.

    Am I broken?

    • @MrJameGumb
      link
      English
      1610 months ago

      I drink one cup of coffee in the morning. Once that cup is done I will definitely need access to a bathroom within the next hour or so. I’ve never had to “run” to the bathroom, but it does become quite… persistent after that

    • @[email protected]
      link
      fedilink
      English
      1210 months ago

      Caffeine is a stimulant and it creates bowel contractions. If it doesn’t make you have to poop, it’s probably due to your BM schedule. You might be one of those people who poop in the afternoon or something.

    • rustydomino
      link
      English
      210 months ago

      I assume you’re younger. It didn’t happen for me until after 40.

        • rustydomino
          link
          English
          410 months ago

          Well im that case you’re either lucky or unlucky depending whether inducing poop in the morning is good or bad.

    • @shneancy
      link
      English
      110 months ago

      if I ever drink coffee or anything with caffeine and I’m not really active after drinking it - I’ll need the bathroom within an hour or so. If I’m active I’ve noticed this doesn’t happen, though I don’t drink caffeine often so it could be a coincidence.

    • Johanno
      link
      fedilink
      English
      110 months ago

      I don’t like coffee so I usually drink about one or two cups a day (when I am at work and don’t wfh because the coffee is free) and I never had any problems with it.

  • Fudoshin ️🏳️‍🌈
    link
    fedilink
    English
    1210 months ago

    He wasn’t very powerful. All he did was make his staff flash and set off some fireworks.

    He says he killed a balrog, but can we be certain?

    Gandalf is a conjurer and nothing more.

    • The Picard ManeuverOP
      link
      English
      1710 months ago

      His love of the halflings’ leaf has made his memory unreliable too.

  • HexesofVexes
    link
    English
    1110 months ago

    “The great storm is coming, but the tide has turned.”

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    English
    910 months ago

    Do not take me for a conjurer of cheap tricks

    Surrender, but don’t give yourself away.