• @cmbabul
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    489 months ago

    I used to be a huge advocate for “boss makes a dollar, I make a dime, that’s why I shit on company time”, but now that I have a bidet at home, I would just as soon die that shit at the office. I’ll hold it until I get to a place where I can clean my asshole properly after

      • PaleRider
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        9 months ago

        Home is where the heart is you poop most comfortably you go when the Pub shuts.

      • @shneancy
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        49 months ago

        home is where you poop most comportably

    • dindonmasker
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      69 months ago

      Two words. Portable bidet. I have one everywhere i poop often and one to take with me for longer trips. They’re good and cheap so why not.

      • @MrJameGumb
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        179 months ago

        So you take an apparatus with you every time you use the bathroom away from home? I’m not judging, I’m just genuinely curious about how that works

        • @[email protected]
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          39 months ago

          They are small. It’s like taking a phone around with you. For me they are not sufficient as a TP substitute but as an adjunct. I am partial to the Toto motorized one.

          • threelonmusketeers
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            39 months ago

            What about splashback? Do they need to be cleaned? How does one transport them? I love bidets, but I’d feel icky tossing a portable one in a backpack along with my lunch…

            • @[email protected]
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              39 months ago

              Keeps in a bag. Propels stream at an angle and waste water falls vertically down, so it’s not getting directly bathed in waste. It folds up and tip is concealed. I just wipe down tip with some TP.

    • @[email protected]
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      49 months ago

      I’ve never in my life been a baby wipe user… Untill I got a bidet at home. Now I stock work with them just so I can clock those work hours.

      • @cmbabul
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        29 months ago

        They are really bad for pipes, and I don’t give a fuck about my employers pocket book, but I don’t want the poor custodial staff of the building to have to unclog pipes because of my asshole.

  • @[email protected]
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    149 months ago

    Ok, so I get the meme/reference - but I can’t relate at all and need to ask. Is this a real thing?

    I started drinking coffee only 5-6 years ago, have 2-3 cups in the morning. Sometimes nothing else, sometimes a little food. I have NEVER had to “run to the bathroom” due to coffee. Except to pee all the water out.

    Am I broken?

    • @MrJameGumb
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      169 months ago

      I drink one cup of coffee in the morning. Once that cup is done I will definitely need access to a bathroom within the next hour or so. I’ve never had to “run” to the bathroom, but it does become quite… persistent after that

    • @[email protected]
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      129 months ago

      Caffeine is a stimulant and it creates bowel contractions. If it doesn’t make you have to poop, it’s probably due to your BM schedule. You might be one of those people who poop in the afternoon or something.

    • rustydomino
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      29 months ago

      I assume you’re younger. It didn’t happen for me until after 40.

        • rustydomino
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          49 months ago

          Well im that case you’re either lucky or unlucky depending whether inducing poop in the morning is good or bad.

    • @shneancy
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      19 months ago

      if I ever drink coffee or anything with caffeine and I’m not really active after drinking it - I’ll need the bathroom within an hour or so. If I’m active I’ve noticed this doesn’t happen, though I don’t drink caffeine often so it could be a coincidence.

    • Johanno
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      19 months ago

      I don’t like coffee so I usually drink about one or two cups a day (when I am at work and don’t wfh because the coffee is free) and I never had any problems with it.

  • Fudoshin ️🏳️‍🌈
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    129 months ago

    He wasn’t very powerful. All he did was make his staff flash and set off some fireworks.

    He says he killed a balrog, but can we be certain?

    Gandalf is a conjurer and nothing more.

    • The Picard ManeuverOP
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      179 months ago

      His love of the halflings’ leaf has made his memory unreliable too.

  • HexesofVexes
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    119 months ago

    “The great storm is coming, but the tide has turned.”

  • @[email protected]
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    99 months ago

    Do not take me for a conjurer of cheap tricks

    Surrender, but don’t give yourself away.