• MrJameGumb
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    11 months ago

    I think the real question here is wtf kind of crazy doorknob is that?!?!?

    • Raptor_007
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      11 months ago

      I’m betting this is less of a knob and more of an immobile handle.

      • Obi@sopuli.xyz
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        11 months ago

        You’d be correct, my front door works similarly (minus the key-swallower under it).

      • cm0002
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        11 months ago

        That just makes this even more evil lol

        • JasonDJ@lemmy.zip
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          11 months ago

          The key opens what is basically a deadbolt, and the only actual latch for the door.

          The “knob” isn’t so much a knob, but a stationary/fixed handle for pulling the door.

        • Bytemeister
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          11 months ago

          Door knob can be twisted to open the door. Door handle is static (it doesn’t twist or move) it’s just a convenient place to grab the door.

    • Madison420
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      11 months ago

      90° rotated robotic horse penis and it. Is. A. Fan. Of. Yoooohooouuuu!

  • 5714@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    11 months ago

    I’d keep the keys attached to a belt or wrists or something. If I lived there long enough, I’d even steal the lid and replace it with something finer…

    • variants@possumpat.io
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      11 months ago

      It’s fine the person in the picture is a pro that can hold the keys like a power puff girl

      • VindictiveJudge
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        11 months ago

        Wasn’t there a scene where they discussed how weird their hands were?

        • variants@possumpat.io
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          11 months ago

          I think when the professor got turned into one or something and couldn’t pick things up

          • shuzuko@midwest.social
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            11 months ago

            Opposite - one of the girls got swapped into the professor’s body and couldn’t use his hands because she didn’t know how fingers worked.

  • aeronmelon
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    11 months ago

    I hate drain holes that appear to go all the way down to bedrock where you can feel heat coming from the earth below. Like it’s the first chapter of Journey to the Center of the Earth.

    • Nasan@sopuli.xyz
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      11 months ago

      Guy in front of a no knock raid party gets to confirm the hollow earth theory for himself.

    • JasonDJ@lemmy.zip
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      11 months ago

      Wherever he saw a hole he always wanted to know the depth of it. To him this was important.

  • Sagrotan
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    11 months ago

    Cheap pickset and learn to do it: priceless. No. 1 life skill.

    • bruhduh
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      11 months ago

      Lockpicklawyer alt account detected /jk

    • general_kitten@sopuli.xyz
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      11 months ago

      At least where i live your regular home locks are secure enough that non-destructive entry requires specialized tools and close to LPL level skill. In my country there was once a serial burglar that could do that and for a long time police didnt even believe the that there even was any burglary.

      • yuriy
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        11 months ago

        You in one of those schmancy countries where everyone’s got them fucken assa abloys on their tool sheds?

  • Ghostalmedia
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    11 months ago

    Seeing all these “just get a giant key chain” comments reminds me that Lemmy’s core user base is the software engineer who stores a giant keychain in his cargo shorts, along side a multitool and the world’s thickest wallet.

    • knexcar
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      11 months ago

      You mean it’s NOT an accurate random sample of reality?

      • Ghostalmedia
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        11 months ago

        Wait. Everyone isn’t running Linux on their daily driver?

  • boatsnhos931
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    11 months ago

    Look… If you had… one shot… or one opportunity… To open every door you ever wanted… one moment… Would you capture it? Or just let it slip? Yo His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy There’s vomit on his sweater already, mom’s spaghetti He’s nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready to drops bombs, but he keeps on forgetting what he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud He opens his hands but the keys won’t come out He’s chokin, how? Everybody’s jokin now The clock’s run out, time’s up, over - BLAOW!

  • taanegl
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    11 months ago

    House owner: That’s $499 for a new key.

  • Synapse
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    11 months ago

    Just use a keychain that is bigger that the grill pitch, any small trinket will do.

  • Ghostalmedia
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    11 months ago

    This could make me carry around my keys on a retractable lanyard like a postal worker.