• @[email protected]
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      302 months ago

      Wait, wait, wait. Just hold up a minute! Are you seriously trying to tell me that spending 10+ hours a week and thousands of dollars a year sitting in a car just so you can “work” in an open room where you can’t hear yourself think, much less get any actual work done, is bad for your mental health?

      Your ungrateful little shit. Not only are you getting paid, you’re saving a ton of money by not having any recreational time and you have a convenient excuse for avoiding your SO and missing your kids stupid sports games. You should be paying your employer for the privilege of commuting to work.

      /s

      • @[email protected]
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        112 months ago

        Also, we have a locked lease on an oversized office to impress our clients and shareholders. This office also shows said clients and shareholders we are a real company, even if we miss every deadline.and deliver a dog shit product. And, middle manager Kevin needs to feel important by actually seeing his underlings working and cowering in fear at his presence, do you really want the CEO’s nephew to feel worthless?

      • @captainlezbian
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        52 months ago

        I’m convinced that shit is why managers love rto.

        • @SlopppyEngineer
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          62 months ago

          Drive by management is just a lot more fun than putting effort in clear communication and good organisation. Imaging to actually having to work for that big wage.

            • @SlopppyEngineer
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              22 months ago

              There is also seagull management. They at least take the time to shit on everybody too.

  • @lost_tortie
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    332 months ago

    You get a few free zoom sessions with a talk therapist! Problems solved ✅

    • @Garbanzo
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      72 months ago

      Yeah, that’s what we’re going with. The pizza will be delivered in time for management’s lunch break. Please enjoy during your regularly scheduled break or lunch, by which time the good stuff will be gone and what’s left will be cold.

  • @EdibleFriend
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    242 months ago

    please give us 2 weeks notice if you intend to kill yourself.

  • @Bluefruit
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    2 months ago

    How about a pizza party champ?

  • @[email protected]
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    152 months ago

    I’m part of the “health and safety” team at my job and every meeting my suggestion to improve mental health is “give raises.” Lol

  • @[email protected]
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    142 months ago

    "We’d like to take this month to remind you that, as the primary source of stress in your life, we don’t actually pay you enough to escape. If you improve your life too much and can take too much time off, you might realize just how much we’ve taken from you. While you struggle to cope with the dichotomy we’ve created between your struggle here to afford your life and the struggle in your life to escape from here, we really want to emphasize

    Mental health is your responsibility ♥️

    Sincerely,

    - Your overlords"

    • @[email protected]
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      32 months ago

      “Crying is not permitted in company restrooms. Please schedule all mental breakdowns either during your lunch hour or other personal time.”

    • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet
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      22 months ago

      Can anyone tell me how to punch an imaginary quoted person in the face through the internet?

  • @[email protected]
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    112 months ago

    We’re going to take all the tables and chairs out of the break room so we have room for a ping pong table, to show what a fun company we are!

    Where will you sit to rest and eat? Why would you need to do that?

    Also no using the ping pong table during work hours.

    • @TastyWheat
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      22 months ago

      Management Daily Ping Pong Championships are at 2pm BTW.

  • @[email protected]
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    112 months ago

    If they really wanna be family, they’d let me stay in my own bedroom rent-free in the boss’s house.

  • @AnUnusualRelic
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    102 months ago

    “We shall paint one wall blue. And maybe add a vapid slogan in Comic Sans.”

  • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet
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    92 months ago

    “we don’t want to actually change anything, we just want the image boost from saying that we care about it”

  • @SlopppyEngineer
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    82 months ago

    We’ll do anything for the mental health of our workers except spending any money, time or effort.

    • @Jerkface
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      62 months ago

      “So, what other resources do we have?”

      “Our employees.”

      “Great. Let’s just spend them.”

  • @Xanis
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    72 months ago

    I enjoy pointing out that for a company that makes X Profit, Y Salary does not equal Z Bankruptcy. If it did you don’t want to work for them anyway since they’re one good solid financial fart away from going under.

    It’s all smoke and mirrors. Most companies can afford twice the workforce they have. Layoffs and hiring freezes exist to make the quarterly reports look pretty for the largely sociopathic execs who are just literate enough in most cases to deeply appreciate books with pictures that are less than 30 pages in length.

    • @[email protected]
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      02 months ago

      If they’re publicly traded then they’re required by law to try to have continuous growth. Of course, that’s not sustainable.

      • @Xanis
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        12 months ago

        So while it is slightly more complex than this, what you just said fundamentally boils down to:

        You’re wrong.

        Fiduciary Responsibility, yes. Legal requirement: No.