• @FMT99
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    944 months ago

    She’s so relatable. Especially the part where she said “ERROR ERROR ERROR”. Who hasn’t had a morning like that?

    • @[email protected]
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      334 months ago

      Yeah, I know what you mean, I too feel that I’m sorry but as a AI language model, I am not allowed to respond to your comment.

      😜

  • @gibmiser
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    844 months ago

    “At press time, an approving Johansson morphed into the banister she placed her hand on.”

    • Haus
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      164 months ago

      Considering that her husband’s on SNL, ot could happen.

      • @[email protected]
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        144 months ago

        who is her husband?

        Actually… I am kinda proud I don’t know who it is so maybe forget I asked.

        • Veraxus
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          84 months ago

          Michael Che

          • Flying SquidOP
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            54 months ago

            Damn, good for Michael Che. He’s not ugly or anything. He’s handsome enough. But he batted way out of his league.

            • Veraxus
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              4 months ago

              😈🧌

              I’m trolling. It’s the other one.

            • @[email protected]
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              -14 months ago

              am i the only one who doesn’t find most hollywood women particularly appealing? like yeah scarlet isn’t ugly or anything, but she looks a bit weird and stiff and i get the distinct impression that everyone says these women are attractive just because they have smooth skin and look rich…

              like, a lot of the women i see just randomly on the street irl are WAY more attractive than those in hollywood

              • Flying SquidOP
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                74 months ago

                I don’t know if you’re the only one, but I cannot make the claim that Scarlett Johannson is anything but stunningly beautiful in my perception.

              • @bamfic
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                24 months ago

                a no makeup pic was leaked 10 years ago or so and she got furious and tried to sue, and she looked awful in it

              • @[email protected]
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                24 months ago

                I don’t think she is anymore attractive than most other Hollywood stars. My favorite roll of her’s is from Ghost World. I’ve only seen a handful of her movies. But she’s that busty blonde that is a favorite type for many. Personally I’m more partial to Zoey Daschanel. I have watched most of her movies and definitely don’t really like her but she’s very pretty and I enjoy watching her. I have never watched the tv show she’s in. I like M Ward but I don’t like their collaboration. 🤷‍♂️

                People like the fantasy that Hollywood types provide. Something it’s just that and Scarlet ticks the boxes.

  • Onii-Chan
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    354 months ago

    I hate how long it took me to realize this was an Onion article.

    • sadbehr
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      4 months ago

      always read the community name

      I’ve had a couple of ‘wtf’ moments as well. I learnt to read headline first, then check the community.

  • Margot Robbie
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    254 months ago

    I’m sure there is a perfectly logical explanation for all of this strange behavior from ScarJo.

    … The explanation being her movie “Under The Skin” is in fact, a documentary, and Academy Award nominated actress Scarlett Johansson wasn’t acting: She is actually an alien creature wearing human skin sent to Earth from Scotland to collect information on human behavior.

    • Flying SquidOP
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      124 months ago

      Do you two go to the same meetings? Because I’m suspicious about how you know about this. Plus you’re both big Hollywood celebrities.

      • Margot Robbie
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        104 months ago

        It’s common knowledge. There is this other famous one who isn’t even trying to hide at this point and calls himself “Zark MuckerBorg” or something.

        Like, can you be any more obvious?

        • Flying SquidOP
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          84 months ago

          This is pretty bold stuff from someone famous for playing a plastic doll.

    • @PM_Your_Nudes_Please
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      104 months ago

      Holy shit Penny Arcade looks very different nowadays. I haven’t seen a comic from them in probably a decade.

      • @AngryCommieKender
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        34 months ago

        There was one recently where they talked about the strip having taken on a life of its own, and nothing they had done so far had managed to kill it.

  • @RedWeasel
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    144 months ago

    Didn’t realize this was an Onion article at first. Figured it was someone trying to make an AI bad point.

  • @Substance_P
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    44 months ago

    This is gold, Onion article of the Year 🤣