I thought this place was for jokes. Why is there an infographic?
I’m in a band that performs on occasion at CFBs (Canadian Forces Bases). We typically eat there and spend the night either in barracks or guest housing.
I have noticed that when we play for officers, dinner is like steak and lobster. When we play for enlisted, it’s more like high school cafeteria. The one and only time I had to excuse myself towards the end of a concert and miss the closing number was after eating at the enlisted mess and getting explosive diarrhea.
The one and only time I had to excuse myself towards the end of a concert and miss the closing number was after eating at the enlisted mess and getting explosive diarrhea.
I guess they’re training their soldiers for biological warfare.
I suppose it is a kind of survival training? One of my bandmates who’s served came up after. “So here’s the deal. You watch what everyone else is eating. If they’re meticulously avoiding the peach cobbler or whatever it is, you F’ing stay away from that S if you know what’s good for you!”
I know from my wife that food in the CAF varies wildly from base to base. Some places are pretty good, others are dogshit.
It’s pretty true. I have some Army meals in my photo library.
Edit: Found some more
That’s one jucy plate of bread, green beans, lettuce with cum, and diarrhea. Accompanied by a glass of piss.
The lemon drank was pretty good honestly!
Maybe it’s because I grew up poor with a single parent who couldn’t cook, but I thought that the Army food was great. When I got to AIT and could eat as much as I wanted, I realized that I had essentially been starving my entire life. I put on 19 pounds between starting basic and finishing AIT, when most people were losing dozens of pounds. I would eat 3000 calorie breakfasts, and then burn most of it off with an eight mile run.
the army food was great
me too. I was with the military for 6 months (it’s obligatory in my country) and the food was delicious. Not just very nutritious and also healthy, but it really filled you, and made you feel good. Much better than what I got at home.
Österreich?
Ja.
I don’t think an 8 mile run burns 3000 kcal.
I did say “most of it”. That was just to start the day. We’d often run again in the evening, lift weights, do pushups and sit-ups throughout the day, and do a full day of work. I was eating more than I was burning since I was able to put on muscle, but not by much, since my body fat percentage was low. The point of the story was that I had enough food to eat for the first time in my life thanks to the Army mess hall, and I thought it was great.
I would guess it’s more like 1000 tops. Sorry, I just like to be precise and the number seemed off. Doesn’t really matter to the story. I’m sure you’re able to burn a lot calories during army training.
3000 calories is what supply should be prepared to feed each trooper on station.
Legitimately looks like prison food. And you don’t even get metal cutlery?
Thats how pretty much all food made in giant quantities for 1500+ people is gonna look. Looks like every cafeteria meal i have ever eaten.
Yeah honestly aside from the poor broccoli that got boiled to death, most of those plates look decent.
I love overcooked broccoli.
Looks a hell of a lot better than what they served to us at school on base when my dad was in the military.
In the late 90’s they used to have this baked spaghetti that was served in little squares. They were too hard to eat unless you poured water on it and let it soak for a bit. You could throw them across the room or bang them on the table and they wouldn’t lose their shape.
I’m pretty sure the elementary and middle schools just reheated yesterday’s left overs from the chow hall.
Can you really compare military school food to school food though?
It’s institutional food - a restaurant can serve 1500+ people if they’ve prepared for it. For example, take a college cafeteria - the food usually isn’t bad, even though it’s made in massive quantities
Institutional food only comes into play when the institution takes the lowest bidder. Like most public school districts, prisons, and whenever else the state runs cafeterias directly
It’s a small but very meaningful distinction
If prison food is as good as those photos make those meals look then I just figured out my retirement plan.
Yeah I guess I just have low standards but that looks great…
Except for the slave labor, it does seem like a pretty good gig.
Depends where you’re at. It’s been more than a decade but the cooks at my dfac in Afghanistan told us prisoners get higher grade beef.
bro, your mistake was eating the beef, instead of whatever the locals were making for themselves. there was always a long ass line for that shit, but it was always the best chow in the place.
Not enough time to stand in line. I was picking up chow for my whole unit and bringing it back so we didn’t get to pick what we ate
Wym that looks delicious
Wtf that looks delicious, a little small portions but other than that it’s fine
Green beans look good
“Everything the body needs”
Eh, I’ve eaten worse from gas stations.
I though they were careful about their diet and trained as athlete…
😂😂😂
That last one is making a run for it :)
Ok navy next.
Is that really, really dark gothic chocolate cake?
It’s so nice to see Comic Sans actually being used for its intended purpose.
Yes it actually looks great in the correct context, tbh.
There are extensions to put it on all web pages
It’s easier to read for dyslexics and those with brain injuries
Like, your browsers font settings.
Hey, my dad was a Marine and I take great offense at the suggestion that he ate crayons. He served in Vietnam; they smoked crayons, thank you very fucking much.
how does that, er, work, exactly
In an emergency situation a crayon can burn for up to an hour.
What about the Space Force?
Red bull and a cigarette.
While running around doing a karaoke version of Blur Song 2.
This image is great, thanks
So the space force is just a bunch of line cooks?
Overworked server monkeys and sysadmins.
Hey, that’s what my son lives off of, and he’s a civilian.
They’re air force. So the air force section. Red Bull and a cigarette is the Grunt’s dinner.
Definitely freeze dried astronaut food.
That shit is delicious. Every time we went to some kind of space-related museum growing up I would bug the shit out of my parents until they got some for me. I felt so freaking cool eating it.
I always look for these in tourism destination gift stores. I love them!
What does it taste like?
Space ice cream! Seriously, it tastes like Neapolitan ice cream, without any of the liquid, and without being cold.
They stole other services bases mostly and aren’t even able to fully staff yet. They are either using the previous infrastructure or just leeching off of whatever base they are on.
What’s going on in the navy?
They’re schlorping schlongs.
Where do we sign up?!
Was a submariner, can confirm.
It’s an age old running “joke” they are gay and effeminate, hence the female looking person gobbling a sausage.
I see. First though was maybe I should have joined the navy but now…maybe I should have joined the navy.
homophobia
Hot
No kink shaming!
Sucking dicks is homophobic now?
come on man, I don’t have to explain this, you’re smart enough to understand the cultural and societal heritage here.
“Sucking cocks is my heritage”
Yeah I don’t think pink hair is allowed
2201
- HAIR
(a) Men
Hair coloring must look natural.
(b) Women
Styles with shaved portions of the scalp (other than the neckline), those with designs cut, braided, or parted into the hair, as well as dyed using unnatural colors are not authorized.
So only if you can find someone in the wild with naturally-pink hair.
natural albino?
My dad was in the coast guard. I’ll ask.
The Vietnam vets I knew from the US army talked about the weirdly green gravy which was good, just green.
And a WWII Navy vet stationed on a carrier said the food was fine, but it was all piled on top of each other.
Food in the US military
Is this actually credible?
No. The CIA isn’t military.
The CIA isn’t acting in the interest of the united states either, but still here we are
Y’all are silly the CIA isn’t actually real
It’s allowed, to establish the Coast Guard’s source.
Coast Guard’s source
Pretty sure it’s the other way around. The Coast Guard is intercepting shipments of them and the CIA is snorting them.
100 percent. Just never mix Army and CIA. It spawns a level 5 entity that the black helicopter guys have to take care of.
Eat raw wheat flour yeah 🤤
I personally didn’t mind army food. I would love some navy food tho :3
Me: looks at the meme, then looks at you comment
side_eye.jpg
What is the difference usmc and the navy? Honest question.
If you ask a Marine they’ll confirm that they’re a department of the Navy, but then qualify it as “the men’s department” before devolving into a yut-fest
Well, they often enjoy eating a variety of crayons, for one?
USMC is an independent branch, but does serve under the Navy. They used to be completely independent, until they were placed under the Navy in 1834.
Different responsibilities, roles, training, structure, culture, etc… but they still report to the secretary of the Navy.
I wanna know what Navy Seals eat
Most seals subsist on fish, but depending on the species they may also eat crustaceans, krill, or penguins
Seals. It’s in the name.
Don’t they use Marines to man the brig on ships?
Not sure where I heard that, so could totally be talking out my ass here.
Historically, yes. The Marines were responsible for discipline on the ship, including arresting sailors, guarding the officers, and manning the brig.
Easy, the navy flies the big boats and the USMC get set loose to weed out a country’s crayon supply.
From what I heard while joining the marines were originally the ones that would defend the crew of military vessels.
Like in old ship combat if your ship was boarded the marines were the ones fighting them off.
Water? Idk
This was def made by a Buckethead, you know who you are
