I get suggestions online like do my hair, makeup, etc but as a first time girl I really don’t know where to even start, so I end up doing nothing and looking like a hag and im tired of being treated like crap
This is like, the place to go for hair care. Your hair is already really pretty by the way! Getchu some CG approved products (this can help with shopping), find a routine that you can mesh with, and you’ll be surprised by the results ^^
I wish I could help with other stuff but I’m just a little AMAB eggy boi who gets away with having girl hair. I love helping people with hair tho, it’s such a minor thing but can be SO transformative!
YES, THIS!
I’m a cis guy and I had to figure all of this out by trial and error because it’s not normalized for dudes to talk about hair care routines and I grew up before Reddit was a thing. But this is almost exactly what I do, and what I’m teaching my curly haired son.
well if that isn’t just the sweetest thing I’ve read all day! ^^
You have great hair. Most important thing to learn id say for makeup is eyes, you’d be amazed at the difference it can make. I’d recommend getting some pre glued falsies (ardell naked press on are an easy drug store/target buy) as they’re the easiest to apply and take off when you mess up, which you probably will your first time. Since you seem nervous, I’d use only the short and medium length lashes to start, they won’t be so obvious which could make you more self-conscious
You may be shocked by how much of a difference that can make by itself. Liner can make a big difference, too. If you have a steady hand id always recommend a liquid, nyx is a solid brand for cheap liquid liner.
I recommended liquid liner, but you’re young so I’m taking that back, i think it looks great, but young people aren’t doing that so much anymore. Using a dark shadow with a thin brush to make a soft line seems to be more common for young people now, and that’ll look great with falsies for you.
I, however, will continue use my liquid liner til death.
Line only the top, or even just the outside half of the top to start. In general you’ll want the liner to get thicker (or further away from the eye in the case of floating, but don’t start with that) as it moves to the outside.
Lots of people will just draw eyeliner around their whole eye when first applying and that very rarely works.
Continuing on with this line of thought: one big advantage of liquid liner is once it sets, it has some great properties: it tends to last all day, be mostly waterproof, and if it does rub off it doesn’t run like mascara will.
Shadow is much less robust, it won’t last the same way. You’ll want to use a primer beforehand and a setting spray after for it to last. It won’t matter for experimenting, but once you get to a daily routine this will be a must.
Gel and pencil liners will usually land somewhere between the two. Softer and less robust than liquid, and sharper and more robust than shadow. I don’t use either, but my wife uses gels
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I don’t think you look like a hag, although I understand that thought because sometimes I think I look like a hag too. Facial dysphoria is a bitch.
If you want some tips for makeup, I recommend starting with mascara because it’s really easy to get the hang of. All you have to do is hold it by your eyelash and blink, and maybe wiggle it a tiny bit to get it on better. Eyeliner is trickier to put on so don’t feel bad if it takes you a while to get the hang of it.
Someone online thought I did, and it got upvotes so I guess it’s true
We’re trans. Sadly people hate us just for existing. The person who said that you look like a hag and the people who liked it are just transphobic trolls. Don’t give any value to the words that they say.
The people who mind don’t matter and the people who matter don’t mind.
(I first heard that quote from Eric Andre, I’m not sure who the original author is, but I find it very useful.)
You’re going to have a vocal minority that hates you regardless of anything you do, and they will find whatever insecurities you have and dig at them, because they know it hurts.
I see a ton of people here, giving you advice and support. It’s so easy to forget about all of those positive voices when the few hurtful voices are so loud and so very painful. Try not to focus on those, and focus on the more numerous voices cheering for you.
I don’t have any advice for your looks. I’m a cis gendered straight guy with about as opposite of hair and build as you as can be hahah. I think listening to some of the other great advice here about focusing on one thing at a time, small changes, etc will go a long way. Once you build a few things you feel good about, your confidence will grow and that will carry you beyond what any advice will.
Good luck, my friend.
People online will also upvote blatant racism and 9/11 truthers and shit. I’m eternally grateful communities like this exist where we can talk about how fucken stupid people can be, and all feel a little less crazy. Who the fuck seriously says “hag” anyways? I’m glad I’m not that dummy.
You’re beautiful by the way, I’d be intimidated to talk to you irl hahaha
“it got upvotes so I guess it’s true” ? Honey, if this weren’t so painful and personal you’d know exactly how ridiculous that is. The idiocy of the person who insulted you is matched only by their sliminess. They’re a slug, and deserve to be squashed.
Moving on to practical suggestions: if you can, get yourself to a lash bar. Don’t go crazy, choose a reasonable length, and let an expert stick them on, individual lashes that last for weeks if you’re gentle washing your face. While you wait, look around at all the cis women and remember they too are doing this to meet conventional gender norms for women. So conventional in fact that it’s one of the first ways little kids make their drawing a girl: add eyelashes.
You have good skin, good hair (follow others’ suggestions for making the most of it) and a lovely mouth. Your nose is a little large but a really nice shape, and your cheeks are pretty. Your eyebrows are fine and won’t overbalance your eyes if you get your lashes done. If you can’t, you can use mascara to bring out your own lashes even if you don’t wear any other makeup.
General: Baby steps 😤!! And being patient and gentle with yourself while you’re learning! I’m only doing hair and that alone can be so overwhelming. So, my big picture advice would be to pick a basic but meaningful hair goal and/or makeup goal and just work on those. Once you have those under your belt, pick another, etc. For me, the overwhelm came from trying to tackle many things at once. So for hair, my first thing was just to get a shampoo and conditioner product & routine that worked for me. With that crossed off, my attention turned to drying and styling, and then you keep exploring, learning, and improving with time (or so I’ve heard).
Practical: I think those curls could look better (more definition, less frizz) without crazy effort. Are you satisfied with your shampoo and conditioner routine (including anything else you do after you wash your hair [ie, product, drying method])? Also, youtube (or an anonymous frontend) is kind of like the Bible for learning haircare skills as an adult ime, and I have no doubt the same applies for makeup. That was a realization for me, as I don’t use YT much, but video tutorials are helpful
I think it’s really about going at your own pace and being patient with yourself! I’m still trying to find my happy middle as well.
For hair, find a local non-chain salon, and let them take care of you. They’ll work with you, recommend the right products for your hair type and the style you’d like to go for. I gave up trying to style mine and instead just super take care of it. I personally wash it once or twice a week with a fairly expensive Japanese shampoo/conditioner that my stylist recommended (I’ve been seeing her for over 11 years and we’re great friends… She’s been such a huge help through my transition). I also started to decorate it with cute bows and hair bands- I really recommend this! I’ve even started making my own!
Makeup is another story - I’ve been struggling, but honestly really care more about having healthy skin. Definitely start building a skincare routine so your skin starts to naturally glow. I also recommend a BB cream if foundation doesn’t feel right for you (not a fan of foundation tbh). From there you can find a tinted chapstick if you want some color for your lips. As much as I’d love to give you pointers on eye makeup - this is my biggest struggle area right now, but we’re just getting started so practice and patience!
It can be really disheartening seeing other women just radiate beauty, but remember that they’ve had many many years of practice and definitely struggled when they first started 🩷
Yeah it just hurts when you get s called a hag and multiple people upvote it
Ya… honestly I wouldn’t put much stock in Internet insults- easier said than done, I know. I think it’s really easy to get lost in our screens and forget the real world is incredibly different. It’s really frustrating how our brains sort through things- you’ll get a lot of positive feedback, and then one or two negative comments and that’s what our brains decide to focus on. I think it’s fairly normal for a lot of people, but I think it’s worth working on training your brain to untangle those types of thoughts. I recommend looking into Cognitive Distortions!
