• @[email protected]
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    10328 days ago

    “Accidentally”

    You’re a monster.

    You know you could have given them a little taste without harm, even though it has more salt than their food.

  • @teamevil
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    10228 days ago

    Everyone should have both types of cat.

    • @GraniteM
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      5228 days ago

      Okay but hear me out:

      • @teamevil
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        1828 days ago

        And now I’ve got 2 demons running wild

  • @Feathercrown
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    28 days ago

    Who just eats an entire can of tuna

      • @[email protected]
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        728 days ago

        The spicy Thai chili one is really good on rice, too. I usually add some sriracha mayo on top and call it a poor man’s poke bowl.

    • @IMongoose
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      1628 days ago

      I sometimes scoop tuna out of the can with saltines. Pretty good 0 effort snack.

    • @isles
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      1128 days ago

      I’m more of a sardines from the tin kinda fella.

      • ✺roguetrick✺
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        1128 days ago

        In oil. Water packed sardines are disgusting.

    • @[email protected]
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      628 days ago

      I’m a gourmand and a lazy one. If I go thru the effort to open a package, I’ll probably eat the whole thing. I’m trying to get better at portion control, but I’m many months in and my instincts are no better, and I’m less happy.

      • @[email protected]
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        928 days ago

        A can of tuna is about 250 kcal. That is not bad, and it’s all protein. You could do way worse!

      • ✺roguetrick✺
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        128 days ago

        Only success I ever had was envelope budgeting calories. You’ve gotta approach it like your instincts are already broken and hopefully if you’re not type 2 diabetic yet you can fix it before you are and your hormones are also broken on top of your instincts. Trying to fix it after getting diabetes is much harder, because now you’re not only wrestling with learned behavior but an actual dysfunctional metabolic system.

        • @[email protected]
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          327 days ago

          Back when my weight started with a 3, I was told I was pre-diabetic, but I’m much better now, and my current GP hasn’t mentioned diabetes to me at all. I got down to 201 lbs. towards the beginning of the year, but I’m 220 today. (Current goal is 197, but 165 would be better.)

          I tried intermittent fasting both sticking to a 16/8 for a few months and separately abstaining entirely for a couple of weekends. Didn’t really help reset my instincts / cravings.

          I still feel hungry more often than I should eat. I have gotten into the habit of trying to silence the rumbling guts with calorie-free fluids and waiting 30 minutes, but frequently I find myself still hungry and in a worse mood after that wait.

          If I stick to the diet I have planned, I will lose weight, and sometimes I can do that, but it’s getting harder and less frequent.

    • @grue
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      528 days ago

      I find that one can of tuna is just about the right amount for one meal of tuna salad for one person (if you’re not having it with anything extra, like bread).

    • @datelmd5sum
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      328 days ago

      If I wake up hungry, my cat and I are going to eat a can of tuna in the middle of the night.

    • ValiantDust
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      1828 days ago

      Sekhmet seems more appropriate, though depicted with a lion’s head not a housecat’s.

      Sekhmet acted as the vengeful manifestation of Ra’s power, the Eye of Ra. Sekhmet is said to breathe fire, and the hot winds of the desert were likened to her breath. She is also believed to cause plagues. (Wikipedia)

      She would sort that shit out.

      • @[email protected]
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        1028 days ago

        Report submitted.
        I marked it as urgent.

        (Yes! I couldn’t remember the name & I wasn’t sure anyway, but I knew Bestet was depicted as kitty so in my laziness of not wanting to do one single search I went with the safer choice)

  • Uriel238 [all pronouns]
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    2528 days ago

    So I’m a total pet-drug-pusher. I had a cat who seriously jonesed for breve (half-and-half) so I gave her a milliliter a day. My dog today needs peanut-butter like it’s the ambrosia of the gods. It’s a small treat every once in a while.

    Out of respect for your friends of fur, allowing them a small dose might enhance their enjoyment of life a bit, especially since we are social beings who enjoy sharing a meal with each other. And unlike half-and-half, cats can actually digest tuna.

    • Altima NEO
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      2228 days ago

      My cats are dum though. I’ll crack open a can of tomatoes and they freak out thinking it’s dinner time. I let them sniff it, but then they look confused.

      Same when I’m getting some Tums. They think it sounds like greenies.

      • @VinnyDaCat
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        527 days ago

        Same when I’m getting some Tums. They think it sounds like greenies.

        Can relate. All my cats think my pill bottles are the same as the treat shaker. I always end up giving them a treat afterwards because I feel bad.

      • @[email protected]
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        327 days ago

        Oh, man. The amount of times I’d exasperatedly repeat to my cat “it’s beans!” or someone similar and let them smell the can I’m opening. I know you know this doesn’t smell like tuna, you fuzzy idiot…

    • Ms. ArmoredThirteen
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      1828 days ago

      I trained my cat to eat plain chicken by tearing off little pieces and any time he didn’t go for it I’d make sure he watched me eat a little. Do that, offer him the other half of the piece I ate, repeat a few times. Now he knows whenever there is a new food if I’m trying to give it to him and I take little bites that he should try it too. It’s a lot of fun

    • @[email protected]
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      28 days ago

      who seriously jonesed for breve (half-and-half)

      Doesn’t compute, what does this mean?

      • @nelly_man
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        427 days ago

        “Jones” is an American slang word meaning to be addicted to something, so “jonesing” for something means to crave something very strongly, and generally very vocally.

        “Breve” is a coffee drink that is commonly made with half-and-half, which is a product that is equal parts cream and milk. I assume that people have taken to using the term to refer to half-and-half itself, but I’ve not personally heard that.

        So the sentence is saying that their cat was addicted to half-and-half and would act like a junkie doing anything to get their next fix.

        • @[email protected]
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          227 days ago

          Thanks! Learned something.

          But seriously, half is cream? At least make it whipped cream, what a waste.

        • Uriel238 [all pronouns]
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          127 days ago

          Interesting. My step-daughter got breve = half-and-half working at Starbucks, which just may be a local brevity slang.

          Looked up Breve on wikipedia and confirmed it includes the coffee.

  • @[email protected]
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    2327 days ago

    I remember eating a can of tuna in front of my cat, she stood on her hind legs and emitted the slowest plaintive meow ever. She must have win awards for best begging kitty ever.

        • @Crackhappy
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          228 days ago

          Scared the crap out of me as a kid. Didn’t stick though. I have two cats who sleep, purring, with me every night. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

      • @buddascrayon
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        528 days ago

        That movie was literally about the cat saving her life from a little troll monster that actually did steal children’s breath.

        • @Crackhappy
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          328 days ago

          While that might be true, you’re stealing my narrative.

  • Spaniard
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    1328 days ago

    The Geneva Conventions forbade this.

  • @[email protected]
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    1228 days ago

    I used to have a cat that generally wouldn’t beg for food unless I made something with tuna. Even then he wouldn’t beg while I was making it but I would find him sitting on my desk in the other room (where I ate) waiting for me when I got there like “hey whats that”.

  • @caut_R
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    728 days ago

    The right one definitely has the look of disbelief lol

  • @Illuminostro
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    528 days ago

    Any experienced cat owner knows your cat is plotting to kill you. After all, that’s what cats do. If you eat the delicious fish in front of them, it just accelerates your demise