I’d be gay for Moleman.

  • slazer2au
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    259 days ago

    John Frink. Think OF ALL the wacky INVENTIONS he will be mAKIng.

    • partial_accumen
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      179 days ago

      Sea captain is also a successful small business owner:

      Ambition and stable income are important in a relationship. While Comic Book guy also has a small business and likely stable income, the blatant misogyny would likely be a turnoff for most women.

  • ALQ
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    169 days ago

  • @ganksy
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    119 days ago

    If Moleman is taken, have to go for my man Stu. I didn’t live through the Disco era but they couldn’t be that bad, right?

  • @nickel_for_your_thoughts
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    69 days ago

    The professor or Otto. Neither is coming home with me afterward, but I’m imagining a bizarrely fascinating conversation over dinner with the professor, and getting blazed with Otto doesn’t sound too bad either.

    • SSTF
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      38 days ago

      I hear Otto has mustard.

  • @MimicJar
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    48 days ago

    Barney, he has a fantastic singing voice and flys a helicopter.

    • Angry_Autist (he/him)
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      18 days ago

      I’d definitely go for Sober Barney. Drunk Barney is too much a babysitting job

      • @MimicJar
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        28 days ago

        There’s going to be a planet for the French, a planet for the Chinese, and we’ll all be happier.

    • Angry_Autist (he/him)
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      18 days ago

      Not rich enough for me to put up with his pedantry.

      Plus he’d keep asking me to cosplay Jojo characters for him and I don’t have those kind of ratios.

      • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet
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        18 days ago

        I was thinking that his banter is probably very appealing to a lot of people on this website.

        • Angry_Autist (he/him)
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          18 days ago

          Only until he turns it on you, which he will, before the salad is even finished.

  • @[email protected]
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    28 days ago

    I’d go for Kirk.

    He might not have the most interesting personality, but he seems like a sweet guy, who can enjoy the little things and who will also join you for the occasional adventure.

    • @son_named_bortOP
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      58 days ago

      He also sleeps in a racecar bed, which is pretty neat.

    • SSTF
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      48 days ago

      The man who sent the number one cracker factory in town into a tie for sixth with Tabletime and Allied Biscuit? No thanks.