• @[email protected]
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      -1722 months ago

      Jeez, girl is crying and having a hard time, someone makes a joke to cheer her up. You call that a dick move?

          • @idiomaddict
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            162 months ago

            You cheer them up by telling them that at least they don’t have to deal with [insert bad present from an ex here] and she doesn’t have to buy any extra presents this year.

            If that doesn’t work, you base it off of their exes’ behavior: for example if they got sloppy drunk, you say that at least she doesn’t need to DD/babysit this year. If they were loud, you say that at least she’s not going to suffer permanent hearing damage.

      • JackFrostNCola
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        672 months ago

        I didnt think this needed to be said but making a joke at a bystanders expense, particularly a hurtful personal attack, is not ok.
        Sure jokes are give and take with some good natured ribbing but this strays more into carless, or potentially malicious territory.

        • @Maalus
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          -652 months ago

          Nah, it is good natured ribbing 100%. People who are alone for 28 years in a row either are completely inept at human interaction or don’t want a partner / aren’t ready for one. The first case is incredibly rare, in the second case you probably are secure enough in it to laugh with them. And at the end of the day - it worked to get the cousing to start laughing and stop thinking about how hurt they are.

          • @[email protected]
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            2 months ago

            Wow, you’re a twat.

            “make her feel better for 5 minutes by making him feel worse for… however long that scar lasts, oh, and you can’t find a relationship because you suck” has got to be the shittest take I’ve heard all day

          • @idiomaddict
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            252 months ago

            I don’t know how many 28+ year old virgins you’ve met, but I know like 5-6, none of whom are completely socially inept(I have really nerdy hobbies? I don’t know why I know so many), and only one would be at all cool with another person making a joke about it, but still probably not a random aunt.

            The one other exception I can think of is the religiously celibate, who might be a-okay with it from their aunt to cheer up a cousin, but I’m sure not doing it.

          • @LwL
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            212 months ago

            Lmao what

            If you don’t want one and people make fun of you for that that is still shitty. Also it’s entirely possible to want one but just not enough to go actively looking. The only person that would be allowed to make that joke without being very certain he doesn’t mind would be anon himself. Society’s ultra focus on relationships and sex can feel bad enough without your fucking family making fun of you.

          • @[email protected]
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            132 months ago

            And at the end of the day - it worked to get the cousing to start laughing and stop thinking about how hurt they are.

            For half a second? Because surely that joke didn’t cure her sadness.

            • @Maalus
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              -262 months ago

              Yeah no shit. Still helped.

          • @WraithGear
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            122 months ago

            Um don’t feel like the first is particularly rare…

          • @dubious
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            -22 months ago

            watch out. we’re in an incel feeding area.

      • @[email protected]
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        662 months ago

        I don’t understand why everyone calls me a monster. I just kicked those puppies to cheer a crying girl up.

        • @dubious
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          -162 months ago

          anons are far from puppies. anons should probably be kicked regularly on general principle.

          • @Donkter
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            82 months ago

            Your brain has rotted.

  • @xantoxis
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    1062 months ago

    Fuck the single cousin? I don’t see the problem

  • THCDenton
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    2 months ago

    Sounds like a great family

    Jokes aside, if you ever feel like killing yourself, don’t. Don’t let them win.

    • @[email protected]
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      172 months ago

      Yeah, I find straight up abandoning your shit family is a not completely bad idea.

      You’d be surprised at the jobs out there that simply let you get on a train or a boat and simply leave it all behind if you want to.

      Just please then don’t jump off the back of my boat. The point is that it might be lonelier than guaranteed family but ocean is a bad way to go.

    • Echo Dot
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      62 months ago

      if you ever feel like killing yourself, don’t

      Oh definitely don’t kill yourself, there’s absolutely no future in it.

      My cousin killed himself and I do not think it helped at all.

  • xep
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    422 months ago

    someone to call my own

    Odd choice of words, is this a common way to refer to a significant other?

    • @bassomitron
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      962 months ago

      Everything is possessive. My wife, my husband, my girlfriend, my boyfriend, my significant other, etc. “Someone to call my own” isn’t really strange; it’s not super common, but definitely not that uncommon, either.

      • cobysev
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        522 months ago

        it’s not super common

        I’m 40 years old. This was pretty common to hear when I was a kid. But as the younger generations grow up, the language changes, along with the public mindset. Possessive phrases like this used to be considered romantic because it meant you were desired by someone. In today’s culture, it’s creepy because it sounds more like someone sees you as a thing to own.

        It’s actually been a long time since I heard someone use this particular phrase.

        • @FireRetardant
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          2 months ago

          I’ve always understood it as going both ways. Someone you call your own, they also get to have you as their own. I’m all yours, and you’re all mine. I’ve viewed it as a way of expressing desire and commitment.

          • @[email protected]
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            2 months ago

            Exactly. We’re in a monogamous relationship and have made legal and spiritual contracts to be faithful with eachother, so it’s fair for my SO and I to “own” each other in a sense. That doesn’t mean we get to tell each other what to do, it just means we have an expectation that they won’t go looking for an outside relationship.

            It’s like saying “my gym,” I have a contract that states I can use their facilities. I don’t own that gym, but I do have a certain level of expectations.

    • @officermike
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      2 months ago

      There’s such a reference in a well-known song, Mr. Sandman

      Sandman, I’m so alone

      Don’t have nobody to call my own

      Please turn on your magic beam

      Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream

      • @[email protected]
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        102 months ago

        Or another classic, by none other than Aliaune Damala Bouga Time Puru Nacka Lu Lu Lu Badara Akon “Mr. Lonely” Thiam

        I’m so lonely (so lonely)

        I’m Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)

        I have nobody (I have nobody)

        For my own (to call my own girl)

        I am so lonely

    • southsamurai
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      292 months ago

      Very common.

      A lot of people, I’d even hazard to say the majority, want mutual possession to some degree. Not necessarily ownership, as in all freedom removed, but the idea that each person is devoted to the other, to the exclusion of any outsiders in some cases, but at least as a primary priority except for children being higher.

      There’s been a ton of debate over the years, tons of money thrown at research into human bonding and relationships, trying to figure out exactly what “normal” or “natural” is for us. But, even among people that aren’t monogamous, there’s some that use, and find comfort in, the idea of belonging to each other, it’s just that the non monogamous folks tend to have a broader range of what that means.

      It’s similar to (or maybe the same as) belonging somewhere. You belong at home, it’s the place where you are supposed to be, it’s the default state. It might not be home for everyone, obviously, but the sense of having something that is akin to that feeling of coming home, of belonging, that’s a powerful thing.

      As an example of non romantic belonging, to illustrate what I mean, I used to bounce at a drag club. For a lot of the gay kids that came there, that club was the one place they could really, truly be themselves. I literally can’t count how many times someone said that it was the closest they’d ever had to a real home, a real family, and many of them said the only place they ever felt like they belonged.

      I know, for myself, no matter how much pain I’m in, what ugliness is trying to drag me down in my head, the certainty that my wife loves me, and is there for me, it keeps my head above water. I’m her’s, she’s mine, in every way that matters. We belong to each other. That’s despite the fact that we’re both free to end the relationship if we so choose. There’s no slavery in belonging to and with someone.

      Shit, now I’m crying lol.

      But maybe that’s as good an example as anything else. That feeling? That sense of comfort and surety, of knowing that there’s someone right there that is such a deep part of yourself that just thinking about the fact is enough to bring tears of joy, that’s what it’s about.

      • Zagorath
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        62 months ago

        My significant other has the same vague possessive connotations

        I don’t think it does at all. In fact I think just the opposite. It’s saying they’re an “other” person who is “significant” to you. It’s quite sweet, actually, IMO.

    • sunzu2
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      22 months ago

      4chan vibe along with the play on wording is the joke here

  • @psycho_driver
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    282 months ago

    Or kill your aunt instead?

    J/K scary moderators.

    . . . or am I?!?

    • @tee9000
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      42 months ago

      Potentially get him!!

  • @sazey
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    92 months ago

    Only reasonable response here is to clap back. Once they know you bite, they move onto someone easier.

  • Echo Dot
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    92 months ago

    I have been in one relationship in my entire life. 8 years ago I was assigned the desk next to her at work, and now I I’m going to marry.

    I’m so glad that I have to put up with this shit. One and done, and I’m perfectly happy with it.

  • trainsaresexy
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    32 months ago

    This is fun, and I’m going to enjoy it without trying to correct it because that ruins the joke and I need to feel joy.

  • @finitebanjo
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    -52 months ago

    Why feel shame that you didn’t live your life chained to animal urges?

    Whats your Aunt got to show for herself? 2 Divorces? 4 kids, 1 dead from overdose and 2 college dropouts?

    Breeders just pollute the gene pool imo, better to spend a long time to establish a life and have one partner you can trust.