You could call this a sequel to my last question, but I was genuinely curious. Question inspired by someone I know joking about being arrested for selling donuts to someone who died as a result because they didn’t need junk food.
Charging your phone is murder because coal-fired power plants kill 43,000 people per year (in the US alone).
Giving birth is a capital crime, because you’re bringing someone who will one day die into the world
Rubbing one out lowers aggression, ergo masturbation is now mandatory. You all know what to do here, people.
Counterpoint: masturbation is genocide and menstruation is murder as it is a failure to bring a life to the world. Therefore everyone beyond puberty is guilty of murder by default.
Catholics start sweating
Right? Especially the priests
“Oh my god ohmygod I’m going to hell! After I raped those three boys, I masturbated!”Oh who are you kidding? It’s no more guilt than we already had drilled into us by doing 12 years on the inside.
Outlaw schools. They provide an education like chemistry or physics which can help people try to get away with murder.
It’s true! I’ve seen Breaking Bad!
I sure wouldn’t want to be in the rope business.
Losing your job increases your likelihood to steal by like a bajillion percent.
Empty your desk and report to the prison by noon.
Or, Employment is now mandatory and considered a human right?
Baking bread is the same as moonshining
