• @loie
    link
    652 months ago

    Hey, listen, if we need to create stories so that the media actually pays attention to the suffering of these couches, then that’s what we’re gonna do!

  • @zeppo
    link
    English
    142 months ago

    Ikea does have those semi-private feeling little nooks… I’ve thought about taking a nap in one before. I can only imagine the temptation Vince feels seeing that fresh upholstery.

  • Blackout
    link
    fedilink
    92 months ago

    I can’t go back to IKEA just because I wanted to see how many meatballs one of their dressers could hold. Why sell them both if you’re not allowed to do this?

  • @hOrni
    link
    92 months ago

    Imagine visiting JD in his home, and he’s like, “I’ll be ready in a moment, go sit on the couch” and You have to tell him, in the least awkward voice as You can “it’s fine, I’ll stand”.

    • The Giant Korean
      link
      English
      32 months ago

      Or you sit on his couch, and then you can’t stand up, because you’re… stuck.

    • @Katana314
      link
      English
      72 months ago

      Best guess; he was trying to circumvent the prompt to feed it a stray cat.

    • @[email protected]
      link
      fedilink
      42 months ago

      He prefers to subdue his more active prey, arcade cabinets and ATM machines, before forcing himself into their currency slots.

  • partial_accumen
    link
    52 months ago

    CNN’s Jake Tapper fact checking rigor would show this story is 100% true.

  • barnaclebutt
    link
    42 months ago

    JD is the type of guy that constantly makes unwanted small talk with you just because he’s the district manager and you can’t get away because you’re leather sectional that’s just his type.

  • @bignate31
    link
    3
    edit-2
    2 months ago

    This is really great journalism. Someone needs to edit his Wikipedia page and point to this as evidence. Then we can start citing the Wikipedia page to make up discover more of these stories

  • FiveMacs
    link
    fedilink
    12 months ago

    I want a restraining order out on telecoms from setting food on my property to sell shit.

    I understand they have right of way because the tax payer funded infrastructure somehow belongs to them…but fuckoff with trying to sell me shit.