• Albbi@lemmy.ca
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    67
    ·
    8 months ago

    “A Satanic portal? At this time of year! At this time of day! In this part of the country! Localized entirely above the White House?!?”

    “Yes”

    “May I see it?”

    “No”

  • bcgm3
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    27
    ·
    8 months ago

    a Satanic portal

    That’s a bit vague. What exactly are we talking about here?

    A portal that worships Satan? A portal of Satan’s making? Is it a portal that only Satan himself can use, or can anyone can use it and it leads them directly to Satan’s location, or magically turns them Satanic upon using it?

    • Grimy
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      10
      ·
      8 months ago

      A portal in the style of Satan. Essentially fiery goth.

    • P00ptart
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      4
      ·
      8 months ago

      These are the scientific questions we really need to be asking. We’ll get our best people on it. The very best, they say. We’ll go hands waving “wifty wifty wifty” and boom, we’ll understand which democrat is on top of this satanic portal situation.

  • tlou3please
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    18
    ·
    8 months ago

    Good. That’s why kids are so lazy these days. Back in my day battling demons and carrying a flask of holy water taught us a thing or two about life. I for one welcome the pro satanic portal stance of this administration.

  • satanmat
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    14
    ·
    8 months ago

    The most terrifying part of this, is that the words “Satanic Portal “ doesn’t immediately cause people to stop and say WTF?!!?

    • Soggy
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      16
      ·
      8 months ago

      This is what religion does to a brain.

    • dohpaz42
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      8
      ·
      8 months ago

      I’m saying WTF.

      Everybody knows that Hell is down below us, and portals to Hell or Satan would open up on the ground and not in the sky where Heaven is located. Like, duh, man.

  • forrcaho
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    11
    ·
    8 months ago

    Wouldn’t a Satanic portal be below the White House?

    • rockSlayer
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      8 months ago

      What if it opened in the sky on the south side of the White House lawn?

      • spongebue
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        8 months ago

        I walked by the White House last week and that’s actually exactly what’s going on. I thought it was kinda nuts that the media isn’t covering it

  • rsuri
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    11
    ·
    edit-2
    8 months ago

    So I thought this must have been a tongue in cheek comment but I saw the actual video and it seems he’s actually serious, as is the maga host interviewing him (Eric Metaxas):

    “It’s still there?”
    “It’s still there.”
    “Ok, that’s nuts. Like how has the media not covered this?”
    “The media doesn’t cover a lot of things that are true.”

    • iAvicennaOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      8 months ago

      wow I would not imagine it to be so nuts, they even add a minimal dose of skepticism to make it sound genuine.

  • BenLeMan
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    10
    ·
    8 months ago

    All of this wouldn’t have happened if people just remembered to close the damn adrenochrome vat after use!

    • P00ptart
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      8 months ago

      Come on, I’ve apologized for the release of those interdemensional entities so many times. What more do you want from me?!?

  • Lanusensei87
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    4
    ·
    8 months ago

    “You must understand, it was for the benefit of mankind, I assure you!”.