As Elon Musk likes to do whenever disaster hits somewhere in the world, Hurricane Helene was another opportunity to show off his generosity and make himself part of the news. This time, Musk made headlines with a promise that SpaceX Starlink would be free for 30 days to help in places where fiber and cellular infrastructure might have been knocked offline. More than 200 people have been identified as dead in the disaster.

But the catch is that it’s really not free at all. It really looks like not much more than a glorified new-customer promotion.

For one, anyone interested in taking up the offer still has to pay approximately $400 for the dish itself (including shipping and tax) and they’re getting automatically rolled into a $120 per-month contract when the free month ends.

  • @pacoo2454
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    1524 months ago

    Sounds about right. Rich people don’t get rich by giving away hand outs. They get rich by being assholes.

  • Flying Squid
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    584 months ago

    (including shipping and tax)

    And I’m sure UPS will get your free $400 internet to you just as soon as services are restored and you won’t need it.

  • @[email protected]
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    564 months ago

    Fucking hell - Verizon, Sprint and AT&T also, apparently have free Helene deals on offer! And Comcast (or whatever the hell they rebranded too) has six months and their nipple flaps at the ready!

    • @cm0002
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      154 months ago

      Comcast (or whatever the hell they rebranded too)

      Xfinity, although I prefer my head canon on which they rebranded to Crapcast

    • @Corvid
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      24 months ago

      Who the hell is Sprint?

      • @[email protected]
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        64 months ago

        I’ll admit that I haven’t lived in the US in more than a decade so some of the companies may be out of date - Sprint is/was a large phone carrier.

        • @littletoolshed
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          84 months ago

          They are giving you shit because:

          Sprint Corporation was an American telecommunications company. Before being acquired by T-Mobile US on April 1, 2020, it was the fourth-largest mobile network operator in the United States, serving 54.3 million customers as of June 30, 2019. The company also offered wireless voice, messaging, and broadband services through its various subsidiaries under the Boost Mobile and Open Mobile brands and wholesale access to its wireless networks to mobile virtual network operators.

          From https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sprint_Corporation

          • Flying Squid
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            114 months ago

            Yeah, they sold out to The Man. That’s why I use MCI.

          • @SendMePhotos
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            54 months ago

            They were cool when they had push to talk walkie talkie function.

          • @[email protected]
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            54 months ago

            Fair enough - at least I didn’t put Telus, Rogers, Vodafone or Orange on that list. My brain wanted to… you’ve never known a righteous bitching like complaining about Telus.

  • AtomicHotSauce
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    534 months ago

    He’s in dire need of an aneurysm.

  • Annoyed_🦀
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    404 months ago

    Melon Husk went from “I MUST be the one to save the world” to “pay up if you want to be saved”.

  • @frunch
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    4 months ago

    When your emergency disaster relief comes with a $400 price tag, you’ve experienced

    Dark MAGA

  • @[email protected]
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    214 months ago

    Now it makes me think that he was mad. He didn’t get to build the sub and save those kids because he was going to charge them to get in… Or make them sign away their rights or something.

  • @[email protected]
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    204 months ago

    You know if the fucker literally just shipped a couple of these to like local government officials and asked them to be installed in libraries or whatever and then gave free internet with the idea that it would be shared access.

    He could probably get all the good will, government officials might buy in for emergency connection access and get more money and people would have all that warm fuzzy feelings of remembering when they joined together and had community and internet thanks to this horse bartering fucker.

    But no, he had to want some extra cash he doesn’t need.
    I don’t get the wealthy.

    • @AnUnusualRelic
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      44 months ago

      Elon, it’s a great gesture, I’m sure those poor people will be delighted to at least be able to communicate freely.

      It’s nothing, I… Hold on, did you say poor? How about we changed the plan a bit?

  • @[email protected]
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    134 months ago

    Each time you go outside and look at the sky remember that at last 3 or 4 Elon Musk private company satellites are looking at you. Everywhere you go at any given time.

  • @[email protected]
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    84 months ago

    I’m Glad the man trying to Price Gauge literal DYING People is Poised to have a GOVERNMENT OVERSIGHT ROLE in Trump’s Administration! I’m SURE He will Protect the Middle Class he’s currently Price Gauging during a LIFE ENDING HURRICANE!