Today we celebrate a new addition to the Global Tetrahedron LLC family of brands. And let me say, I really do see it as a family. Much like family members, our brands are abstract nodes of wealth, interchangeable assets for their patriarch to absorb and discard according to the opaque whims of the market. And […]

Through it all, InfoWars has shown an unswerving commitment to manufacturing anger and radicalizing the most vulnerable members of society—values that resonate deeply with all of us at Global Tetrahedron.

  • @[email protected]OPEnglish
    163•1 month ago

    For those out of the loop:
    Global Tetrahedron is a fake evil corporation the Onion used as a bad guy in some stories.
    Global Tetrahedron is also the real company that bought the Onion earlier this year.
    Global Tetrahedron the real company also really bought InfoWars in a bankruptcy auction.
    Global Tetrahedron the fake evil corporation is who wrote this article.

  • @NOT_RICKEnglish
    75•1 month ago

    They are a true unicorn, capable of simultaneously inspiring public support for billionaires and stoking outrage at an inept federal state that can assassinate JFK but can’t even put a man on the Moon.

    Lmfao

  • @[email protected]English
    53•1 month ago

    Just when the country needed a laugh the most, The Onion went and did the funniest thing they could possibly do. This is a wonderful morning.

  • @[email protected]English
    34•1 month ago

    I was very amused seeing something cross-posted in both “Not the Onion” and “The Onion” at the same time and side by side in my feed.

    • @taiyangEnglish
      10•1 month ago

      Real Cave Johnson energy.

  • @taiyangEnglish
    22•1 month ago

    My favorite part is how they plan on spending the extra money. Really need to help those at-risk dictatorships!

    • @Mog_fanaticEnglish
      25•1 month ago

      The excess funds initially allocated for the purchase will be reinvested into our philanthropic efforts that include business school scholarships for promising cult leaders, a charity that donates elections to at-risk third world dictators, and a new pro bono program pairing orphans with stable factory jobs at no cost to the factories.

      These are the kinds of hard hitting issues that the people actually care about but were mysteriously absent in the talks leading up to the election. It’s just crazy how out of touch politicians are these days.