Circa 2008 the wikipedia entry for vampire bat claimed that their teeth were like this. archive.org didn’t capture it at that time, but another page copied the whole thing: https://www.mundoandino.com/Argentina/Vampire-bat
The bats incisor teeth are hollow, allowing them to suck blood in through the teeth like a straw, the saliva has several ingredients that prolong bleeding.
My favorite thing about this is: where does the blood go once it hits the top of the tooth? Into the gums? Into the sinuses? Out the back of the tooth and into the mouth, removing the need of a straw in the first place?
I assumed they were basically reverse snake fangs
The Swedish radio show “Christer” called up the ambassador of Romania somewhere around 2014 (IIRC) to pop the question, and he confirmed the teeth were like straws.
So there’s that!
In the vampire documentary “Dead and loving it” distinct straw-slurping sounds can be heard so I think this is indeed correct.
However when I was a kid I totally thought vampire bats also do the sucky-sucky not the licky-licky they actually do.
I think there’s been a shift in media here over the years. Older vampires, the formalwear “I vant to suck your blaaaad” types, often have very long teeth and leave only a couple of punctures after biting someone. It’s pretty reasonable to assume these are actually drawing the blood through their teeth like little syringes.
Then as time goes on, vampires have gotten grittier and gorier. We’ve gone from beautiful damsels with tiny pinpricks on their necks, to staight up cannibalism. Vampires now just fuckin eat people sometimes. Somewhere in between, we did get a phase of vampires biting open the neck with a big gush of blood, and the now classic image of a vampire with blood all over their lower face. At this point it’s clear they’re just drinking it normally.
That line from my name is Earl has also stuck with me for all the years. You are not alone!
I’m afraid you might be because I have no idea what that is :D
What made them change their mind? Pretty sure that’s always been part of the implication lol.
Isn’t that how they insert the paralytic venom?
The opposite of that is kinda how I thought tattoo machines worked as a kid- as in with hollow needles and an ink cartridge, like fountain pens, and each poke into the skin would deposit ink that way. I even ‘figured out’ that the tiny vacuum from pulling the needle out would be what pulled the ink down into the skin.
When I found out how tattoo machines actually worked, it seemed so messy (and loud!).
That’s not how they work?
IKR? But yeah, nah, tattoo machines are basically a motor that pumps the needle up and down, and you have to dip it in ink to transfer it into the skin.
Never questioned this until about 15 seconds ago…
They’re fictional, so I guess they work however the writer wants them to.
I want them to work in a warehouse. I smell A sitcom!
https://m.imdb.com/title/tt7908628/
Not a warehouse but You are in for a treat!
I was hoping for this and was not disappointed
It took a while to load on my phone and the longer it took the bigger my hope and smile. Big relentless reward now.
Once wrote a series of short stories about fantasy creatures living and working in a warehouse. My favorite were the weekending ghosts, who haunted a manor through the week, but took weekend trips to haunt the warehouse on Saturdays and Sundays to get a break from it all.
Unless they’re referring to the bat, who’s to say otherwise? The lore police?
They definitely do, as that was my thought too
When I was in middle school and first learned about gay men I thought one penis would have to open up somehow to accept the other penis as what I now know would be called sounding. Also knowing what I know now that would be pretty extreme even for sounding but I was a preteen fundie and had gotten all my sex ed from an anatomy and physiology book in the family library with 0 direction from any adult so in the absence of any better ideas that seemed like the most likely way that would work out. Anyway this is a great example of why puritans wind up so kinky; you have no idea what normal sex looks like so you just have to imagine it and sometimes the imagination comes up with some really weird shit and before you know it you’re having preteen wet dreams about stuff the human body doesn’t even do.
I was like 9 before they told me procreation didn’t involve a woman’s belly button.
I think you might be confusing docking with sounding
Docking is foreskin play, inserting something into the urethra would be a type of sounding.
But if you can sound with an entire human cock, you’re doing something pretty extreme shit
I’m deeply enjoying this polite and intellectual discourse re: is this physically impossible act I imagined at 14 years old docking or sounding. Please continue this and all your other weird sexual internet discourse with the same level of polite fervor. :)
I thought that exact same thing about snakes.
Well, venomous snakes do have hollow teeth, but they work in reverse. This makes sense since there are venom glands, but sucking blood upwards would make it go…where? Funny to think about.
Mosquito straw > Scrape and Lick
Everybody knows vampires don’t suck, they scrape and lick!
The three-shell method
That seems inefficient
