• Tedesche
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      432 days ago

      This is the correct answer. Remy would skewer him from ass to mouth and then roast him on a spit (after seasoning him, of course). I’m sure he’d be delicious.

    • @Viking_Hippie
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      2 days ago

      Every damn Thursday! Her friend Mike just won’t let it rest!

    • @[email protected]
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      2 days ago

      Yeah the apparent exasperation is the best part.

      I wonder where Fievel fits into this whole thing…

      • @[email protected]
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        22 days ago

        Fievel would whoop Stuart’s ass, no question. Remy would still slaughter Fievel though. Rat vs mouse is no contest. Unless Fievel can call in his cat buddy, Tiger, as backup. But Tiger’s a bit of a lil bitch himself, so my money is still on Remy.

    • rustydomino
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      32 days ago

      Holy shit imagine if Remy was also a rat New Type!

  • @Jerb322
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    162 days ago

    It’s a rat vs a mouse…rat hands down.

  • @[email protected]
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    152 days ago

    To hell with this obviously one-sided blowout match with Remy, I wanna see Stuart in his car race Ralph on his motorcycle.

  • TheTechnician27
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    2 days ago

    Okay, fuck this slander. Stuart’s a little bitch, but he’s a clever little bitch. That mf can fly a plane, drive a car, and man a sailboat. If he just met Remy in a dark alley, Remy would probably win, but with planning on his side (especially coordinating with the humans to get him what he needs), I’m betting on Stuart. Stuart defeated a fucking falcon who was trying to kill him. Not just defeated: straight-up murdered him. Also, Stuart is an actual accepted member of society with citizenship etc. and can actually speak, whereas Remy needs to rely on other means to communicate, and like three people understand he’s sapient and human-like. If this isn’t a fair fight, he could easily have the humans do his dirty work for him because to them, Remy is just a vermin. He could even just sic Snowbell on him. It took the entire colony of rats to take down – by surprise – one scrawny health inspector, so don’t give me that “Remy has backup too”. In fact, Stewart could probably just make himself a tiny gun.

    TL;DR: Remy wins if it’s by surprise. Stewart probably wins with prep time if it’s one-on-one. Stewart destroys Remy if they can call for backup.

      • TheTechnician27
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        2 days ago

        He’s got Linguini, a scrawny little 20s-something waiter. Stuart has a 15-year-old Jonathan Lipnicki who could definitely 1v1 Linguini plus two late-30s parents (even if Remy pilots him and even if the chef’s hat is off for max visibility, since 1) the family will know how this works and can try to get Remy out of the hair, and 2) there’ll be at least some latency in controlling him since it takes time to move the hair). Plus Stuart has no need to pilot the family and can therefore be off doing his own thing fucking around in his airplane (which he could use to shave Linguini’s hair if he gets a good shot in; we’ve seen it literally shred a falcon). So unless Remy is actively trying to kill Stuart, using a kitchen knife against his family with Linguini, he’s not going to get the upper hand. Remy has his family? Okay, have Snowbell get like a dozen cat friends and tell them it’s all you can eat.

        • @[email protected]
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          We don’t know how well a Remy-piloted Linguini-mech can fight as we haven’t yet seen it. This could be a Pacific Rim situation (I didn’t actually see that movie, but I’m guessing it applies somehow)

          Now I get why the OP is sick of this debate… This shit goes deep.

      • @Bytemeister
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        42 days ago

        Huh, I always saw it the otherway-round. Linguini had had motor reactions to hair follicle stimuli. Movie has a darker perspective if Remy can hijack any person with hair.

        • @[email protected]
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          Whenever he’s got hold of those hair reins, it seems as though Linguini loses complete control of his bodily functions, and Remy is in charge. Maybe I’m misremembering, but I’m pretty sure it’s what causes much of the comic mischief. If Linguini could still control his limbs, why wouldn’t he just stop Remy from flailing about…

          Or am I just thinking about the scene when Linguini is asleep in the kitchen and Remy is in complete control?

          Now that I think more about it, by the end of the film I think it becomes more of a synergistic thing as they learn to work in concert to cook the best dish.

          Which makes me believe that they could do the same thing with fighting, given enough time to train. In which case, it’s no question that they would (possibly quite literally) stomp Stuart Little’s whiney little bitch ass

  • @chiliedogg
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    172 days ago

    Martin the Warrior would kick their asses so hard the Mossflower monks would weep.

  • Flying SquidM
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    I want to hate Stuart Little, but god damn was E.B. White a good writer. Even The Elements of Style is a great read just as a book in my opinion.

    A couple of quotes from Stuart Little:

    In the loveliest town of all where the houses were white and high and the elm trees were green and higher than the houses where the front yards were wide and pleasant and the back yards were bushy and worth finding out about, where the streets sloped down to the stream and the stream flowed quietly under the bridge, where the lawns ended in orchards and the orchards ended in fields and the fields ended in pastures and the pastures climbed the hill and disappeared over the top toward the wonderful wide sky, in this loveliest of all towns Stuart stopped to get a drink of sarsaparilla.

    Stuart rose from the ditch, climbed into his car, and started up the road that led toward the north…As he peeked ahead into the great land that stretched before him, the way seemed long. But the sky was bright, and he somehow felt he was headed in the right direction.

    I can’t hate a book written that well even though Stuart was a little shit in the book as well.

    Wilbur the pig was also a little shit.

  • @[email protected]
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    132 days ago

    This person is absolutely spot on, but there’s something so hilarious to me about how exasperated they seem with this debate, like they’re tired of having to constantly repeat themselves about that little bitch Stuart Little

  • Hannes
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    242 days ago

    I always love to imagine the other orphans reaction when the family shows up and picks a rat over them

    • @[email protected]
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      22 days ago

      He was scarred for life after watching how the west was won and then lost his right leg in the civil war.

  • @Emerald
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    2 days ago

    I found this one crazy schizophrenic-sounding blog once and this person hated Stuart Little so much. I wonder if this is why.

    • @[email protected]
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      72 days ago

      Maybe they were a kid on the adoption agency that got passed on by the family who adopted Stuart Little. Imagine someone preferring to adopt a literal mouse over you,a human kid.

      • @RedAggroBest
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        82 days ago

        Iirc in the original kids book, he’s just a fucked up human kid who’s 3 inches tall and covered in fur

        • skulblaka
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          52 days ago

          In the original book he also wasn’t adopted, to be fair. He was just born looking like a mouse.

      • @Bytemeister
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        52 days ago

        Happens all the time. I chose a snake over a child just a few months ago.

      • @Emerald
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        2 days ago

        Warning: it’s batshit insane and kinda disturbing.

        https://nyapokamyau.neocities.org/

        I found the quote about Stuart Little

        I HATE DRUNKS AND I HATE DRUGS AND I FUCKING HATE STUART LITTLE. FUCK HIM. DISGUSTING PERVERT GROOMER MIDGET FUCKING SHIT EATER.

          • @Emerald
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            12 days ago

            I also have some correspondence with them saved where they might have mentioned Stuart Little. There was one of those site chats that neocities sites often have