If someone was waving a knife at me, and I had a spare cookie, I’d offer them one.
Cookies make the world a better place.
I had a friend slap a knife out of a dudes hand by accident at a gas station once. The way he tells is, he was in line to pay, guy in front of him pulled a knife on the cashier, friend made a “oh shit” noise, guy turns around, friend drops his shit and somehow simultaneously knocks the knife out of the guys hand while clumsily trying to raise his own hands in a “don’t stab me” guesture. Knife dude was running for the door before the knife hit the floor.
Friend got all the praise for saving the day, but he lets us know it was all a nat 20 luck roll and divine intervention from a trickster god.
To this day, I don’t know how I managed this one, but when I was living in Bogota, there was this guy who always tried to sell me coke. Every time I saw him, he would stop me to chat. Late one night, my friend and walk to the corner store, and this neighborhood dealer guy was at the side door of the shop with some woman.
We were all trying to buy alcohol illegally the night before an election—they have a law that they have to stop selling by like 10p or midnight the night before a federal election. Anyway, I say something to the woman, asking if they’ve seen the shopkeeper. This woman goes off about Argentinians because she thought I was Argentinian. I didn’t correct her because…what was I going to say, “no, don’t worry, I’m from the US! We’ve never meddled in your country and you’d have no reason to hate me now!” So I said nothing and started dealing with the shopkeep.
She and my drug dealer buddy—I thought we were buddies, anyway—buy their beer and step off to the side. As I talk with the shop dude, I hear her continuing to rant behind me, but I wasn’t listening. This is all over the span of a couple min, the shopkeeper constantly telling me to keep an eye out for cops between our interaction. As this is happening, the dealer dude comes up and is kinda trying to talk to me while I deal with the shopkeep through a crack in the door while also keeping a lookout for cops rolling up. Dealer dude is just kinda standing there, maybe four feet away from me. Awkwardly. Hovering, really.
I wasn’t really alarmed, but I was definitely aware of him. ‘Cause it was weird. But he was a weird ass dude. Anyway, I pay the shopkeep, hand the bag of beer to my friend, and turn around to walk away. As I turn, I’m digging one hand deep in my pocket to shove my change in there. Drug dealer guy is now kinda 3/4 behind me, but out of the corner of my eye I see him lunge at me like a fuckin Disney villain, knife raised over his head, trying to stab me like he was Jafar.
Somehow i react like a goddamn ninja, and I suddenly have both his wrists in my hands, and we’re grappling as he tries to push the knife into my goddamn neck. A few seconds of struggling, him trying to stab me and me with both of his wrists in my hands before I managed to create a little space between us, so I rear back and fuckin Sparta kick this dude square in the solar plexus. He goes flying and rocks his tailbone against the curb.
Still the coolest thing I’ve ever done to this day. Fuckin nuts in hindsight. Dude was going for a straight up kill shot.
The interesting part is, did you ever buy stuff at his ever again?
I have a friend who is a legitimate badass, like “can successfully fight 5 people at the same time and win” kind of badass. Someone pulled a knife on him once and without hesitation my friend bitch slapped the dude so hard that he fell to the ground and dropped the knife. That was pretty cool.
Bonus point if he shouted “No!” at the same time
THAT’S MY PURSE!
“I don’t know you!”
I was walking to the train station once when a guy said “do you want to buy this?” and showed me a flick knife.
“No, I’m alright thanks” I said and carried on walking, and he went his own way.
It was only later that I realised that was a really odd question to ask, and I might not have heard him properly. I did have headphones in at the time and there was traffic. Plus I’m slightly deaf anyway.
There’s probably some crackhead out there still wandering how he got Derren Browned out of mugging someone.
He probably was just trying to sell it for quick cash, but who knows.
No lie, i did a cool line like this for real which isn’t like me usually (I should mention im a dude probs)
On vacay near the French quarter, half-hammered and fully lost trying to get back to my hotel, a group of street kids crosses the street to get behind me. Maybe after a block of me playing it like I’m cool, this deep voice says from right behind me,
“i’m… gunna rape ya.”
I whirled around and saw this guy leering down at me. Even if he weren’t larger and younger than me, even if he didn’t have half a dozen friends, I’m not tough. In the time i finished spinning i knew i wouldn’t be winning any fights, but i surprised myself by asking
‘Mouth or ass?.. I just want to know what kind of night I’m having.’
He looked as surprised as i felt and laughed honestly.
You’re alright, dude!
and everyone
clappedjust walked away chuckling, i found my hotel, and a fresh pair of underwear.Based on my experiences with street punks around there they were probably just fucking with you.
Lol, I’m sure glad they were cuz I’m not a track guy either.
Ha! That’s how you survive on the mean streets if you don’t know how to fight.
I had an NPC in a RPG that was kind of like this. A werewolf was going berserk in a church. The players were like “Reg! Get out of there!”. Reg sees the werewolf rip a corporate stooge in half and come running at him. He goes, “Bro. Fucking metal.”
Rolls really high on his social check. Werewolf high fives him and just runs by to go murder more corporate leadership.
So what you’re saying is, we need more werewolves.
I have a hard time telling what this person rolled in the knife situation. Awareness may have been like a 2. Intimidation could have either been a 2 or a 19. I mean the person had 0 idea why they had a knife, nor was considered a threat to let them leave first… or after. For all we know dude robbed the whole store, asked everyone if they had a problem staying silent and dudes just fucking munching out on a cookie. If they switch to doughnuts they could have been a 90s cop.
Hahahahahahahahahaha
Is this an american day to day occurance?
Eating cookies? No, that’s the dream.
unprovoked violent threat; victim so calloused to violence they still communicate simply and honestly; assailant sparing the innocent and guiding them to a safer area
Is this an american day to day occurance?
It’s pretty much every encounter I’ve ever had with a gang member.
I feel like I’ve been in multiple shitty situations where I was saved by being dumb or weird and the would-be attacker being either confused or amused enough to let me be.
Not the most exciting, but I once answered a skeezy call at 2:00am. It was a holiday, so I was one of maybe 6 people in the dormitory. It was very much a horror story setup. The caller said something unpleasant and it was 2:00am so I didn’t really get what he said. “I’m sorry, could you call back tomorrow? Be happy to talk about it then, but right now I’m super tired.”
Probably wouldn’t have even remembered it if the young woman across the hall hadn’t gotten a call the same night. She told me about it the next day. He somehow managed to briefly convince her that he was her highschool boyfriend. They talked for a few minutes before she realized it wasn’t him.
As for me? Dirty bastard never called me back.
(Probably necessary context: College, early nineties, there was a campus phone book that literally gave your name, dorm, room, and phone extension. Finding a woman alone during the holiday was as easy as looking at rooms with lights on and checking the book.)
I’m 53 and I’ve never seen an armed robbery, even lived in Chicago and worked on the South Side. Also, I can hardly think of a time I saw in gun in public that wasn’t on a cop.
I’ve been robbed at knife point, but that was on me. Not going to tell that story!
Lol at I’ve never SEEN one…but I have BEEN in one.
I’ve been robbed at knife point, but that was on me. Not going to tell that story!
You can’t just say stuff like that and refuse to elaborate!
Well, it seems like he can
My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined.
I live in a more southern area and I’ve seen so many people with guns
Queue dude with a hand cannon strapped to his belt in the produce section of Walmart.
No. It’s not uncommon in rough parts of town in major cities, but it’s also not something that most people will encounter, especially if they’re not in the really bad parts of town.
Yup, I’m kinda old and never seen anything like this. The closest I’ve seen is a dude open carrying a gun shopping at a grocery store just talking with his wife.
Nothing ever happens to the average person…
I’ve had knives pulled on me a couple times, and a gun one time. I also had a crazy Nazi tweaker threaten me with a homemade hatchet. But I grew up on the wrong side of the tracks, and continued associating with a lot of the wrong people into young adulthood. The first half of my life was very far from average. What’s interesting is that those experiences never really leave you. I live in an extremely safe area now, but I’m still hyper aware of my environment when I’m out, and I spot potential threats long before my friends are aware of anything sketchy.
No. Most of us don’t have 7-11.
Good point. This is probably in Japan.
deleted by creator
We have so many 7-11s in my area; do other states not have them‽ I’ve traveled quite a bit but it’s honestly not something I kept a tally of
They disappeared in a lot of places. They were replaced by Casey’s, Kwik Stop, and Kum n Go (that’s a real fucking name btw)
Huh. I drive by two on my way anywhere, and a half dozen Mavericks. My parents live near a corner with two 7-11 convenience stores, one of which also has 7-11 gas.
Kum & Go is no more. Maverik bought them and rebranded them.
Damn, I’m going to miss driving by the Ejaculate & Evacuate as I drive through.
Bruh they out here ruining our fun
Damn I’m going to miss the full body lattes
Pulling a knife seems more London. US would have a gun pulled.
Nah, guns are expensive, knives are useful outside of stabbing people. I’d absolutely expect a knife for a simple holdup here.
Knife murders are also higher stateside: there were 4.96 homicides “due to knives or cutting instruments” in the US for every million of population in 2016.
In Britain there were 3.26 homicides involving a sharp instrument per million people in the year from April 2016 to March 2017.
But then wouldn’t it be a biscuit or something instead of a cookie
Neat, TIL
What no, is this an honest question? I’ve never seen or been a part of an armed robber nor has anyone close to me
Closest was my dad getting pickpocketed in Rome. He loves to travel and only had that one negative experience.
Nobody in my family has had anything like this happen in the US. Sometimes in Brazil or something, but that’s it.
Usually it is a gun. Must of been on a sunday.
Yeah. At the very least, it happens with enough regularity in the decently populated cities.
