I have watched a frankly absurd amount of youtube survival videos. I am reasonably certain i could survive long enough to die of starvation since the foraging aspect of survival never really interested me enough
most of the people listing their skills here are skills that require a functioning civilization in order to use.
I’m really snarky. What everyone really craves in trying times is a relentless stream of inane criticism.
That guy will generally get voted off the island first… Which in event of apocalypse would mean certain death.
I have the ability to provide constant unyielding optimism as long as no one ever asks me how I’m doing
How are you doing?
Oh no
5h no answer… RIP 😞
What have I done… 😭
I can brew beer, bake bread, make wine, kill animals, preserve meat without a refrigerator, make sausages.
I can follow you around and make sure that your beer, bread, wine, meat and sausages are edible… To ensure you don’t get food poisoning ofc!
And that’s the story of how I became the village dog.
Unfortunately, I’m a rifle and pistol skills trainer, handy enough with both power and non-power tools to barricade/build a functional shelter, a decent cook with barbones equipment, athletic enough to carry all that and still put in a days ruck, and multilingual enough that we won’t have to kill everyone we come across right away…
Fortunately, my body regularly tries to kill me and I’ll probably be in a coma before the month is out - so peace suckers.
I’m a rifle and pistol skills trainer
I’ll probably be in a coma
5-long quest chain to wake you up since you’re the rare trainer who can show me how to use the Buttfuckerator 5000 is what I’m getting from this
Like, this month? Or that first month of the Apocalypse?
Or yes I guess
I’m guessing the first month without insulin, so somewhere between the two.
Why are your skills unfortunate? The first word in your post is confusing to me.
It’s unfortunate because I am skilled in things that would matter, so I’d likely survive the initial horrors if I’m not within blast radius and have to kill my family when they reanimate.
Fortunately I won’t have to live with that long.
I think what they’re trying to say is that they wouldn’t want to survive in an apocalypse, so it’s unfortunate (ironic?) that they’re apparently so well suited to it.
Pretty good
I was an electrical engineering student a long time ago, pretty handy with most tools and electronics. I’m also least likely to kill or rape people. Well, maybe not the least likely, but very low on the list of suspects.
I could probably get working communications up and running for communities in like a couple of weeks plus travel. I probably won’t eat you.
I also have experience in demolition, reclamation, and construction. I can outrun the vast majority of people. How fast can you run?
This guys kinda sus “I probably won’t eat you” “I’m least likely to kill and rape you, but not really least”
Yeah movie 101 says to just kill you first and be done.
“I probably won’t rape, kill and eat you… By the way, how fast can you run?”
“Track in highschool huh?.. not a lot of meat…”
Faster than you can with a broken leg, sorry about that
I’m a first-waver and I’m fine with that. The world is shit enough as it is, and I’m tired. Apocalypse? Not interested. Have at it.
Not interested
You’re missing the opportunity - don’t just feel ambivalent about the apocalypse, embrace it. Be that one zombie that waits rotting in a ceiling for five years just to chomp a seasoned survivor two days from
retirementevac.I don’t have anything to add, I just wanted to say that I love your username
I like it too, but these legends deserve the credit:
I’m well aware of Thelonious Monk, that’s why I commented. I hadn’t heard of Felonious Munk though. That’s also a cool name
Nice try skynet.
I’m not particularly good at any one thing. I have a PhD, but not in a subject that’s “practical” in the post apocalypse. I’m physically fit enough, but I’m not a paragon of strength or agility. Relatedly, I’m in my mid30s, so not old, but not spry either. I’m handy enough to fix things with instruction and some light jury-rigging, but I’m hardly a Macguyver-type. I’ve never fired a gun before, but I can probably learn to use one.
Assuming I’m not killed instantaneously, or shortly thereafter, I’m an extra set of hands or an additional mouth to feed, depending on your perspective. Charitably, I’m analytically-minded and useful enough in the field, low to middle management type; less charitably, I’m an NPC type that happens to have some amusing dialog.
In a movie or tv show following a group in the post apocalypse, I think I’d be like the 4th to die; dignified enough to have established a minor story arch, but certainly not enough to be a main character. Also not so unimportant that I’m killed off screen (or worse yet, ret-conned).
Whacky sleep schedule, I can always cover for someone who might need to rest
I’m tasty.
My special apocalypse skill is culture and entertainment.
I have a hundred TV series, a thousand curated movies, thousands of E books, and thousands of songs on a private server with 2 run drives in case that happens, encrypted of course, and with a laptop have the ability to play them for others or plug into anything with hdmi or even rgb as I carry an adapter.
Even at the end, there will be communities with solar grids that will want entertainment. I even have children’s series for the kids.
If things are so bad that the prospect of a community movie night between farming and defense watches isn’t an enticement, being shot would probably be a mercy. Plus, given time to scrounge and loot the before-fore times, it’d be pretty easy to offer copies of that entertainment to others in trade to other survivor communities without giving much up.
How much would an old laptop with 100 movies be worth to a community that’s been telling eachother blurry recollections of old fiction around the fire for entertainment for years?
same here.
I know a nutjob that’s collected pallets of guns and ammunition for whatever accelerationist bullshit he believes in. I know others just like him.
I know of others that have stockpiled food or medical supplies.
a veritable goldmine of resources for the end of the world.
and I’m not the only one who knows either.
so when shit actually hits the fan nobody is going to be gunning for me. I have nothing of value to them. but those people who have decades of supplies? yeah, I give them 24 hours before they’re dead.
I’ll be watching across the street while they’re raided and will go collect any scraps. I’ll be sitting in my basement with my technology and knowledge in order to not die from dysentery or a common cold.
a quiet existence is a safe existence.
A lot of those things have expiration dates.
Medicine loses potency or goes bad over time. Ammo can get moisture in it or just become unreliable over time. The lining in food and drink containers from most things in the grocery store will usually break down or begin to in about a year and start to leach into the food. Fuel to power any generator will go bad in six months, unless you use additives for long storage and those can cause an engine to be running lean or richer than it should be. Guns need replacement parts and won’t typically work forever with some TLC and the ability to fabricate or just have parts stockpiled
Basically most accelerationist plans for the apocalypse are not backed up by any sustainability. Things like ethanol production and a good battery bank system would be far more sustainable than the usual type of stuff that I see them preparing for. Not that guns couldn’t help, it’s just that if you don’t know anything else and can’t contribute to keeping yourself alive for longer than a few months or a year then that’s just going to end up with sick and starving gun nuts who are desperate if they survive that long
The thing the gun nuts omit, and I mean the ones that proudly have an apocalypse arsenal, is that they intend to be the marauders stealing other people’s stuff on the freeway. Those types, almost always conservative and thus devoid of empathy, believe they’ll thrive in the wasteland by virtue of having so many guns, when the reality is, seeking out constant armed confrontation as a way of life in a lawless world means you’ll be dead very quickly, because other people have guns too. They just don’t fetishize them or have a ridiculous number of them.
Brewing alcohol and maybe making drugs. Very essential stuff ;)
I can sleep through anything.
Wake me up when they reestablish the society.
