Time travel accident. They didn’t realise that the time itself gets travelled into the future. September of 2843 is going to have 42 days.
Transcription
“Why isn’t the new year on the winter solstice?”
The answer, honestly, is that ze Romans had na fucking idea how te run a calonds-.
Like, seriously. people notice "CC [ber and “DECEM
12h mon
2rd say, "hey. those mean “zight and ‘er, but these the 10th and
hats up with that?
1 yanue gor a itrle more history, yaurll know that tik and Aug they dae those suo months and bumped the rest of the months back.
= are named after liu sid Sa gsris Earn Am
Nope. The Romans were way, way worse at calendars than that.
dy and su.gust were actly eriginally Quins ana Sexilis - the because the year waditonally started in March, 10 they had tartius, apis, Maius, luis, | October, Navember, December
5k mark and the sissh mance, They asi oa
sili, ex, Se pele,
Martius was named for tars; Junius was named for luna, We 5ave no idea what Aprils and Haius were named after. te, really. Wie have some clues hut heyand thar T’s just quessuark] Then they gar iazy and juss mimbered the months.
"But wali” you ask “whl abuul fanuary and Febtaan™ Hola iio your Lulls. becsuse cing the months by their iumbers? Not even close ta the laziest the Roman calensar got.
Between the end of December and te heginning of Mari [ES S——
wih them. Thay w
< just sare of there
swear | am aot making +5 uz
I adlision, zach month hac lhe: 56 a0 41 devs ass suis
Ronan: de.xded that
Farting 21
aprile 30 + ais 31
« wanius 10
« (intl 51
« Novenber
- Decorum 26
« incercalary
Okay. This is where we are at the beginning of the Roman Republic,
Lao at thax, Remar
- hat Goris eK
on it, You will lo
ack or 2 and 335 "scaly, tat mak
nse
At the beginning o the Foman Xepublic, the Senate decided to fix the calendar. This was for ave reascris:
1.The Romans thought the Greeks kicked ass. and wanted to emulaze thelr calendar.
- Count those days. You will natice that they add up to 355, which means that each year is actually ter (znd change! cays
lic, March was sonewhiene in the suum
shorter lien an scwal salen yes: - which meant tat Uy the tine of the Rep,
50 the Senate Acrided to do some reforming. They added Twa brand-new monthe fa she calendar, lanaarius and Febniari. 5 lanuarius was named afrer Janus, hecaise his hofid: ie’ come back to hirr.) Februz(y was named after the l-ebrua, a feast that fell in na middle of the new mal
fact, lang sifice been replaced by -upeicaliz, an identical least on the sas dale wil a di
=v fell shout a week imo “he new mann. (Janis was the god of A=ariags andl that hac in
eit ame For Resa.
The Senate alsa adaect an Insercalary manth, Morcedsnius, the Month of Wages
Yes. an intencalary month, | want ta make sure that’s clear,
They alsa changed the lengths of the months to better it the Grrek system. “he rents ae |
4 hetween 29-day and 30-day moths. ince again, she Is
Pol ie, "yu knee eH
Loos, the next pert is guing 1 go into aha the hell was prong sil Uren?” 22 iro
This is the calendar the Roman Senate ended up with:
« Januarius 23
- Febraarks 22
Hercedonius 22
« THF REST OF FFRRUAR 15 NE
HT RE
nr
tis 21 + aprilis 29 on
sis 31 + tunius 29
«ax mili 51
120
«Octobe 31 « Nevanber 23
« Dicer 20
Like Lak later
See what | meant aha: blercedaris nei) an ntercalary months ts ieraly in the mi 54 of
the way though February, gat bere
rid Uetived to da senielling 2 for & morn and con
Also, the Romans had caught an to Ieap years by this pain: so every fourth yar, Fobriarius hac, an exira day on te ons bringing irs ral 70 74.
sant be civ, though. thet while Biss Count thase uays agai ts 278. By he neces th 1 months to tight it
Langit on 1
of pss Gas ia Car in 26 BE, Lhe cain
ee iniercal goin.
Bonus: as Grouse
terey mentioned in the erignal hese! lie until nes larg before lus conto]
Ue months ste ted -
release of the calendar, meaning Ue: pecple pad atizrton le Urea Wo ka
contract years Lo keep politicians sho vers an yealy Lerms) Vey iikesl power a fa or diz Gis The
The Julian reform
[hil was ordered by our Ieiend SJ Su iat as Tar as we air clue 5 ci=eted by lim vid ties isp tent dings
Vist, it ackled those three inzer-atary months Back where ie starch had slid wrain
dead of winser)
Second, it got rid af tercedanils, putting the yar bace at 235 tags
Third, it scarterad ten new days thicughout he calendar 2 ka to
year, which gave
Jolius’s reforms sell weren’t quicz ight the length of a year fs Just 3 fraction sharicr tan 265 23 daze which: ferred th Gregarian refarm of 1582 jane hey, | remembered that yoar right or the firs: tr}. Su + werk, ms hey say:
good ennui far qencerer
(nciuzntally, ie Seiiete vored ser Geius Julius Costa’s death 10 rename Quinitilis after hin: because he was bir heir ox likewise Sextifs afte Augustus Caesar The Caesars themselves hat lice te do with it | men, obviosly Gd covtint
possibly have; he was ead at the time)
So remember how we were talking about why the year doesn’t start on the winter solstice?
A coupli reases. Fist. i ever id {in the Raman tradizian, anyveayl, 1 originally siarter in Harzh, which container equines kun cidn’t swart on i
arg
The
cansideed auspicious fer ons. 1 Change wu:
at the yea vias moved Lack to fanuany lor poilival easons, 2smeiber Janus, the god uf door Une Kalen: <7 Jervany So Lo rey cull ant thai tenn wath an offer. ng 12 the god of domes, who rout] then grant an auspicious transition between consuls
0 his Festival, His fess
waite! 0 start on the kalenes af Sanuasius so
So why didnt the kalends of Januarius get moved back to the winter sols Ls the Christians easily wanted everyone 0
Le Christian.
Jas and fot of Tureen rivilizarans had midwinter celebratiens. Vile hadn’t oer inverted yes, if was stil the Germanic tribes’ wiiter-snistice catebrations that, as far as | know, wie don : resily have 3 name far. The Celts had their own separate ichwinter ceiebratian il am infarmed that itis now Mean Geimhriclh or rianstad an Gheimridn, but they didn’t speak modem Irish back then, the talian pagans! had 3 holiday, at cetera… and the Romans had Seturmalia
Saturnalia was ariginally on the 18th af the kalends of lanuariuss, but it expanded the calenaar v:
camber far, as the Romans wetdd hase measured i the 13th/ 12/14 day hefore mraming a sesok lang eset. This was part because, well, peaple fed a party ar rat to b= confuisect wien
the end 5
enc of the actual sear pre-fiepubli=: and partly because if was conscicusly ar net, taking aver the non-Keman hoidays, encour have fun with the Cives Romi
e Celts and the pagans 1 i=in in and
And then there’s Mithin
We dor know lot about Mithias, His was & ysis <ul, wes pribiaby by rosin: god Hla, Sills’ all sere visi o le befure Jesus id Mithias was a gol who wes bora fiom 10ck, slew a bull, 37d th ie sur, For some sesson, the Raniar iegians really liked him. (Again, mystery cult, The first ule of mystery cult is yau dort leave any gaddamn dives for the archacologists,)
hich is net iy desciiplin Lut ar sctual anthropogic: erm and it
den ania worship of Ure
lunch
Withras had a celebration ot his birth around the winzer sofstice. That got folded in with Saturnalia 165 (ges, why dos your god Tet you Have ton festivals), and now an anol lolol pecple gods ercund the wie sulslice, and ol of 2 sudden it wes the 41h century CE fe. cbuut 1600-1700 years ago) and the Chitions were yelling pratty powerful, having Converted Constantine in the arevious century, and they been bapressing the Sithraiz mystery religion for o while, ard they decided. hey. wo want everybody to crlcbrate our guy. 50 sespite shat Jasus had been almast recessariy seen born in tae spring, wher fre sheep were maxed in the felts
Archangel Gabriels anncincement - they stuck the celebvation of lesus’s birth onto the winter-solstice holiday and, not even » linda bit caincidentall, tight snack on op of hithras’s birthday 100.
1 wos shiping Saturn and their o:
el needa <aepherds who wed have hear she
It seems like we’ve gotten away from why the year doesn’t start on the winter solstice, doesn’t it?
We have nes.
The people of Rome fiked that there vas a fescival 1 Gun the winter salsZce, but ty had gor in January. They liked the tradision af starting the nes year during wnat had! been sanus’s festival, And Janus’s festival stared a rok afer tisha cs. birthday. Moving the kalends af Jar aris back fa the winter solsrict wand hase necessarily moved amnrnalia auiny from the winsor sofstice, anc anus festival tease it, and nobody wanted that. 0 Satuesokia ethers Chiistmas sayed where it was, and Januar aesnt srt on the wi sobtice.
n sed to the caesar staring
where it ws. And sha%s why the new yes
1 use “pagan” here as the Romans would hae; pagans” meant someanc wha ved Roman religian
the city and practiced a non
Looks just fine in my proper British calendar.
Now September 1752 is a different story.
I was hungry, sorrry.
Because that’s where all the time was spent and now we have daylight savings time to make up the difference
Huh… weird
Edit: Pope Gregory XIII invented the Gregorian calendar and skipped those days to account for the actual solar year, which is not 365.25, as the Julian calendar said, but rather 365.2422 days.
Yep!
https://www.britannica.com/story/ten-days-that-vanished-the-switch-to-the-gregorian-calendar
This is not some kind of software bug, it actually reflects how the real, western calendar system was intentionally designed.
Don’t let modern doomsday cults/prophets know about it though, wouldn’t want to further confuse their Bible Math.
Other quirks of our calendar system:
There is no year 0.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Year_zero
Goes straight from 1 BC to 1 AD.
This is why the new millenium actually began in 2001, not 2000.
The Jehovah’s Witnesses rather notoriously screwed up their earlier doomsdate due to not realizing this, I’m fairly sure a lot of other sects that popped up in the 1800s did as well.
Yo some poor programmer had to manually code this in there
whilst being screamed at by SJ to get it done
Can’t believe we skipped both 0 BC and 0 AD.
In all seriousness, we can define the millennium to start on 2000 and work from there. We already do this with decades and centuries.
Also, Jesus probably wasn’t born in 1AD. as a matter of fact is 1AD the year after Christmas where Jesus was born (so he was born in 1BC) or was Jesus not born for the vast majority of 1AD until a week before the end of year?
Crazy what assimilating pagan holidays will do to a religion
Jesus was never real and was not recorded by dozens of scribes that were in the place at the same time (one famous example was debunked hundreds of years ago). He’s a sun-god astrological myth, like Horus and others before and they all share similar attributes.
His purpose was to signal the start of the age of Pisces (two fish), and the winter solstice will see the sun rise (after 3 days of apparent stagnation) in the Aquarius constellation in 2150 or so. His resurrection is celebrated at Spring equinox, or Easter, when the sun finally overpowers the darkness.
His purpose regarding factualization was a political move by the Romans and the Catholic church, setting the calendar year 1 to the start of the age of Pisces.
Jesus was born in the spring, not the winter. Christmas is an adaptation of northern winter festivities and they slapped a Christian justification on it.
Here I was always under the impression that AD was ‘after death’ in the religious world and BC was ‘before christ’. Which would then make the years when the guy was walking around a sort of uncounted void in the timelines I guess.
AD is Anno Domini, “In The Year Of Our Lord” which is why it (is supposed to) start at the Birth of Jesus. The monk did get his dates wrong and Jesus was actually born in like 3~4 AD
Small correction 6~4 BC not 3~4 AD
Makes sense, and would give some explanation for the lack of a year 0 of it was counted as ‘the first year of’.
Handy then that the more recent secular take of BCE (before current era) makes some of those discrepancies for when an individual was born a moot point.
If you scroll back to August and September of the same year they don’t show up correctly either. Wonder if October is throwing them off.
This is the final straw with Apple software bugs
EVERYONE* impacted by this, you know your duty -> apple.com/feedback
* yes, even you Bartholomew
Okay if you scroll enough, it goes from year 2 to 1 to 2 and starts getting higher. I went to 1582 again and this seems to be correct
And no, it does not roll around, it seems to really be BC because my appointments are not listed
You should get an award for doing meticulous and careful research.
here, have my gold for your effort.
This bothers me way more than it really should.
We should pressure them to make a fix for it.
What’s the fix…? o.o
CHANGING TIME ITSELF
So that explains the “Months have either 28, 29, 30, or 31 days.” in that falsehood list.
I had always wondered that
In 1873 Japan changed from the Chinese Lunar Calendar to the Western Gregorian calendar during the Meiji Restoration, but kept the Chinese Zodiac.
Meaning a Japanese person born at the beginning of the year (between New Year’s Day of the Gregorian calendar and New Year’s Day of the Chinese Lunar Calendar) will have a different Chinese Zodiac than a Chinese Person.
For example, someone born between January 1st 2025 and January 28th 2025 inclusive would be considered the Year of the Snake in Japan, whereas in the rest of East and Southeast Asia, someone born on those dates would still be the year of the Dragon.
In China and the rest of East and Southeast Asia, the Lunar New Year January 29th 2025 would be the beginning of the year of the snake.
Edit: Living in Japan and dating Japanese people, they really don’t like when you tell them this lol.
Til Fossify Calendar only goes back to 1900
Literally unusable!
They were lost due to a rounding error.
Technically correct, but the rounding error was not caused by a modern programmer… it was introduced by Julius Caesar, then patched 1,582 years later by Pope Gregory XIII.
Setting up the evolution of the western calendar system as a github commit / change log seems like a comic xkcd must have already made.
patched
lol
Hope you can read Latin to understand the patch notes hahaj
The best part is that this really is correct, at the heart of it.
When the precession of the equinoxes kicks in.
Something about Agatha Christie.
They didn’t deserve them
