• @qarbone
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    85 hours ago

    I enjoy the meme content.

    I enjoy the appropriate inversion of the meme format more.

  • @Mojave
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    97 hours ago

    … So very wizard of you???

  • themeatbridge
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    14 hours ago

    I always hate plot holes where problems could be solved with money, especially when a character is super rich. Obi-wan and Anakin had years to raise the money to buy Shmi’s freedom from Watto. Qui-gon had plenty of Imperial credits, but Watto wouldn’t accept them.

    So, Ani wins the podtace and then as soon as you’re off planet, hyperspace it to the nearest Republic outpost and trade the credits for some money. Go back, buy Shmi, or just cut Watto the slaver in half with a lightsaber. Obi-Wan cuts a dude’s arm off for much less.

    Or, like, Jedi mind tricks don’t work on Watto, but I bet theres a Durosian jeweler across the street that isn’t immune to Jedi mind tricks. Trade his Republican credits for all the cash in his till and the nicest Aurodium necklaces in the shop.

    And why couldn’t Harry take his best mate Ron shopping with him to pick out some decent dress robes or a new wand? Kid’s got a vault full of gold, and he basically lives at his friend’s house half the time.

    • threelonmusketeers
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      6 hours ago

      why couldn’t Harry take his best mate Ron shopping with him to pick out some decent dress robes or a new wand?

      That would have put a strain on his relationship with the Weasleys:

      He would willingly have split all the money in his Gringotts vault with the Weasleys, but he knew they would never take it.

      - Goblet of Fire, chapter 10

      The few times Harry does buy stuff for Ron, Ron gets quite uncomfortable. Also, the first thing Harry does after giving startup money to the twins is to tell them to buy Ron some new dress robes.

      • @nBodyProblem
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        21 hour ago

        Yeah I’ve been seeing this Ron and Harry meme all over the place. I’m not a potter fan, I don’t think the books are anything super special, but still

        It’s very clearly shown that Harry would be willing to help them out financially but they don’t want Harry’s money in the slightest

    • @ch00f
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      2413 hours ago

      I feel like most adventure-style movie plots need to be run as a D&D campaign before final edit.

      • sylver_dragon
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        1413 hours ago

        So, you’re saying more big bad guy lairs need fire suppression systems? Or was only ever my players who restored to fire as a first, last, and often only, option?

        • themeatbridge
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          911 hours ago

          You’re the guy casting fireball in a small room, aintcha.

          • sylver_dragon
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            66 hours ago

            If the party didn’t want to get immolated, they shouldn’t have stood so close to the flammable, whatever that was that I just fireballed. Also, I cast fireball at it, again.

        • @ch00f
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          512 hours ago

          It beats shattering glass and John McClaneing everyone as soon as you find out they’re barefoot.

        • @PunnyName
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          212 hours ago

          So like Divinity Original Sin 2: The Floor is Fire

    • @alekwithak
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      714 hours ago

      Maybe this is /why/ Obi Wan is a little hilt happy in ANH.

  • @[email protected]
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    11 hours ago

    The Jedi order didn’t want Jedis to have any attachments. They probably would have try to block Anakin reuniting with his mother, or expell him from the order if that happened.

    Qui Gon, as he was close to almost rebelling against the order, was probably the only one who understood that the kid needed his mother and that there wasn’t nothing bab about that.

    Maybe that’s why the Emperor send Maul to kill Qui Gon, he needed Anakin oppressed by the order so he can turn to the dark side.

    • @Pilferjinx
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      22 hours ago

      The Jedi do seem to have a huge attachment to no attachments. There’s got to be a middle way, right?

    • @UnderpantsWeevil
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      6 hours ago

      Qui Gon, as he was close to almost rebelling against the order, was probably the only one who understood that the kid needed his mother

      Qui Gon wasn’t in rebellion against the Jedi. Just the opposite, he was all the way into the Kool aid, chasing fantastic prophecies about Jedi Messiah.

      His final wish wasn’t to see Anakin grow up with his mom, but to see Balance Return to The Force (a problem that’s never properly illustrated in the movies, just mentioned as a philosophical hang up).

      Maybe that’s why the Emperor send Maul to kill Qui Gon, he needed Anakin oppressed by the order so he can turn to the dark side.

      Maul wasn’t sent to kill Qui Gon specifically, just to eliminate the Jedi interfering with the plot to spark civil war.

      Anakin was one more useful idiot for Palatine to exploit. Only useful until he couldn’t kill that last lingering Jedi.

  • @[email protected]
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    16 hours ago

    I don’t think I’ve seen this meme format where Anakin and Padmé are reversed. Love it.

  • @[email protected]
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    8218 hours ago

    “I didn’t actually come here to free slaves.” Well then Qui-Gon, you’re a dick.

    • @[email protected]
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      911 hours ago

      To be fair he tried to liberate his mother too. He just noticed that it was impossible without risking everything (the engine and Anakin).

      If he had survived I think he would have actually come back for the boy’s mother. Specially once he saw Anakin having a hard time about losing her.

    • @[email protected]
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      4216 hours ago

      “The Jedi are against giving a fuck about anything unless it serves our interests.”

      Can’t imagine why Anakin rebelled.

      • @marcos
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        714 hours ago

        The Jedi are against starting a war without the consent of the people that will actually suffer the consequences of that war.

        At least when it’s not one of them on the line, anyway.

        The thing is, if any of then gave a shit, they’d have her free shortly after leaving, without attacking anybody.

        • @[email protected]
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          814 hours ago

          They can’t save everybody everywhere, but as you say, they could have used stealth to save people where they can without starting a war.

  • @Allonzee
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    814 hours ago

    “Ani… I would have… but Tatooine is so very… far far away, and I was so busy constantly restyling my hair!”

  • Andrew
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    2818 hours ago

    Sadly, Anakin’s mum had already been claimed by Watto, and Padme didn’t know about unclaimsies.

    (for anyone confused, this is a reference to Skeleton Crew).

    • @[email protected]
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      1617 hours ago

      That’s worse.

      They know that having her half ass the attempt and then give up with an entire planet behind her is worse, right?

      • @[email protected]
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        713 hours ago

        Well they did find Shmi, but by then she’d been freed and married to Cleig Lars. She did free a shitload of other slaves from Tatooine, but at that point there’s no reason to steal Shmi away from a reasonable life.

      • @Zorque
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        916 hours ago

        She wasn’t a queen in the traditional sense, it’s an elected position on Naboo. Hell, even on Earth it’s not necessarily an omnipotent position. Just because they hold a high position doesn’t mean they can wield that power for whatever whims they want. They have a whole planet to take care of, first.

        Revolutions tend to overthrow monarchies that ignore the needs of their populace.

        • alaphic
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          1216 hours ago

          I mean… C’mon though dude, we’re literally talking about ONE slave here. If you don’t have the political capital and/or diplomatic savvy to secure the freedom of a single, solitary piece of human chattel from an old, racist stereotype alien then are you even really a politician at all?

          Besides, if memory serves (which, granted, it’s been awhile), wasn’t Watto pretty taken with the sweet, chromed out hot rod they waltz in on to begin with? Cuz I’m no businessman or anything, but I’m reasonably sure there’s some sort of deal to be made there…

          • @Zorque
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            316 hours ago

            Provided he would even be willing to trade that. His entire business seemed to depend entirely on Anakin (who was taken from him), so holding on to the one slave he had left, even if just out of spite, was probably more important to him than a little bit of bling that would be fleeting.

            • @Blue_Morpho
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              715 hours ago

              He was doing business ling before Anakin was ever born. He was paid well for Anakin. His business didn’t depend on Anakin tinkering with broken robots.

        • @Blue_Morpho
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          916 hours ago

          She didn’t need to conquer an entire planet. Qui-gon bought a slave with the earnings from one pod race. She could have pawned one of her dresses for more money than Watto had ever seen. He was literally living in a dump.

          • @Zorque
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            116 hours ago

            And I’m sure he wasn’t a bitter resentful fuck who’d keep the slave just to spite the person who took his livelihood from him…

            • @Blue_Morpho
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              515 hours ago

              He was a businessman. No one took his livelihood. He’d be getting more money than he’d ever get selling her to Lars.

              • @[email protected]
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                212 hours ago

                Plus, you just kill his slaving ass if he says no.

                Should do it regardless but whatever it’s Lucas logic.

    • @aeronmelon
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      516 hours ago

      Just like she tried to survive childbirth.

      • @Shard
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        06 hours ago

        Maybe she would have survived child birth just fine if she wasn’t forced choked to within an inch of her life just before giving birth.