My grandmother refers to sex as “putting your shoes under his bed.” As in if you’re staying the night that where you would put your shoes after taking them off.
She’s been married 3 times and has kids with each of them. She knows exactly what’s going on. Don’t let them fool you.
Grandma wants less thinking and more doing, clearly
Wait, but some of those kids are darker than both mok AND dad…
You’ve heard the term knocking boots, right?
You get pregnant by putting a snake in the woman’s boot, right?
Wait, I thought if I put my snake in her boot, it wouldn’t get her pregnant.
The ol woody loophole
My boss and I had lived for a few years in Italy and Germany, respectively, but were both in the US again at this time and had a jokey rivalry about which of us had integrated better. She was looking for jazz music for our restaurant and said “god, I love scat. Don’t you?” and my dumb ass responded before I could think about it for a second “I’m not that German.” (For anyone confused, I don’t know why, but some Americans think Germans are into scat. I have not experienced this in any way, and have no idea if it’s at all based in reality, I was just making a joke I shouldn’t have)
She didn’t know what scatophilia was, did NOT enjoy hearing about it, but wouldn’t let it go until I explained my joke.
Look bud. All I’m saying is that when the porn site algorithms have a stroke and think I’m into that kind of stuff, 7 times out of 10 the title is in german.
So, this happened to you at least ten times. Hate to be the one breaking this to you but it might not be the algorithm stroking out.
If the porn algorithms are showing you it, you must be have searched it ….just be honest, we’re all friends here.
I look up regular bukkake and it’s not my fault other people use the term piss bukkake.
Yeah, boring old vanilla bukkake leads you into some really wild stuff, it’s ridiculous!
It’s gateway bukkake.
I’m living in Germany again now and I’ve brought this up occasionally with people when we’ve reached the comfortable talking about kinks stage, but it’s a surprise to everyone so far. Germans do definitely like anal more than Americans IME, but not because of the poop, lol. Maybe it’s the Austrians 🤷
Maybe it’s the Austrians 🤷
He, don’t slander. Thats not the kind of thing going on in Austrian cellars
GodDAMN. I was feeling a little iffy about teasing Austrians, but shots fired.
Ah, yeah, that’s probably it. I heard Hitler was really into it. After the war they found his internet search history was full of it.
So, it’s “the algorithms”? Sure, buddy…
Alright, without looking it up… What’s scat in German?
🙃
DAS POOPENSHEIẞEN
Okay, so my first thought was “Skat,” which is the name of a pretty popular old man card game (not in a bad way, I enjoy playing it very much, but I encounter it in similar situations to euchre or pinochle).
Maybe it’s just a false cognate, which would be a great setup for a joke, if there was an audience that knew about both Skat and the scat stereotype. Unfortunately, I think I’ll be sitting on this one for a while.
My best friend told me he feel in love with his now ex wife after she gave him a plumkin. Then he explained what that was and now I am scared for life.
Do NOT make me look that up.
Okay you asked for it. Its getting a blow job while taking a shit on the toilet.
Wait no! that’s just called the iron throne
Well he called it that. Glad it has many names.
Just found out that the friend who taught me that kink he had just past away. I’m shocked and upset. He was a strange man who had bi polar and had zero tact. But goddamm he was my best friend and I will miss him badly.
a blumpkin?
Yes and you don’t want to know what that is.
He knows the correct spelling, so probably is aware of the meaning, too
South Park certainly amplified the idea
I didn’t even know Brazilian fart porn was a thing until South Park.
She knew.
Does liking fisting make you a whore? I thought we weren’t supposed to kink shame, yet here we are. Sad.
Whilst there are more appropriate terms, in the case of this film, gam gam was a lady of a certain persuasion.
What if being a whore was her kink?
“Every generation think they’re the ones who invented sex.” - Robert Heinlein
If she didn’t, she’s not living her best life.
I accidentally told my 50+ friend what shibari is. No, she didn’t know, she cancelled going to a planned event that would have included a lecture.
She also claims she didn’t know before what “bondage” was, and isn’t in the habit of lying to me. So yay for being a good influence, I guess?
Told my girl bestie about shibari by accident as well lol Turned out we’re compatible.
Did you start practicing the art?
“you don’t hear spankos calling it the art of the paddle” - some comment I read somewhere
Since I have a girlfriend who is not into this - sadly no
“Mom, is it because it’s not hetero sex talk, mom? Mom, this is me, your son, mom.”
Gam gam was living it up during the summer of love in the 60s. She’s probably forgotten more than these kids even know.
My grandmother once called me whilst she was at an estate sale and told me she found “kinky asian books”. I dont know if she found hentai or Korean smut but what I do know is that she started chanting “kinky asians” until I hung up the phone.
lol your grandma sounds cool as fuck
She can be just dont bring up politics, economics, or sociology.
… when a hand loves a woman very much …
