Are you sure about that first one?
Wake up…please wake up!
If reality so good, why does the mind prefer dreaming?
my daily routine:
fall asleep > fall asleep > fall asleep
rinse and repeat
Keep an eye for cute butts and use them like landmarks.
“What did you do today?”
“Well, I got coffee at around 9:15 at the cafe with the cute waiter wearing his tight jeans with the wallet rub on the right back pocket. I had a meeting at 10:30 where Melissa picked up the pencil she dropped. Went to the UPS Store during my lunch break where I stood behind the silver fox with the tight cargo pants…”
Make that thirst work to your advantage.
Describe your butt so I can remember this comment
Supple
Holy Jesus crap keep going so I can remember harder
Severance
We have a weekly meeting at work where we talk about what we did on the weekend, and even when I technically have something to talk about, I always forget. But the stuff I do isn’t very exciting anyway, and I often make up shit so they think I have an actual life uwu
