Let the bidding begin!
I have four. And I’m declaring a 25% tariff on eggs sold by u/over_clox
So there.
As long as I get the tariff. We have our first bidder!
Can I interest you in more Eggs?
Those look like 3D printed synthetic eggs.
Does this package include the 3D printed synthetic chicken they came from?
No, but I give you the file so you can print you own chicken! 🐔
Sir/mam, this file is for a rooster. How do you egg a rooster?
Whoops wrong file.
DO NOT PRINT COCK.STL ITS NOT AN ANIMAL.
Shit, too late.
It still looks like an animal! How long before it lays an egg?
J…just don’t eat them.
These are hard times yo, protein is protein…
I am personally outraged by the cruelty displayed on the pic! That dino was probably a lovely chap!!! Would you like your corpse to be unearthed and mended into a ball holder?!???
Now if you excuse me I will go and stab some chickens and preschoolers to calm down, am gonna have a fucken anurism…
What in the fuck did I just read? 😂🤣
Would you like your corpse to be unearthed and mended into a ball holder?!???
Get the fuck out of my head!
Happy anurism💫
Joke’s on you, you left geolocation on.
Touché future egg thief, good luck getting past our dog…
I have for trade one exclusive NFT of a very rare, never used, forbidden thong of Margaret Thatcher. It portrays, in is fully majestic form, a stalwart Iron Lady in an iron chainmail thong, on horseback facing the sunset with a British flag atop Westminster Abbey.
It has been described as magnificent by my dope man next door, who gives it the highest of praise for capturing the essence of his ex-wife’s nature, saying “she’s just like that battle-axe of mine.”
This will surely be worth all three eggs.
Best we can do is two eggs. Someone already bought one.
But sir slash madam, this NFT is priceless slash worthless. Surely it is worth at least three full eggs! Perhaps you can bop one of those chickens to get another one.
You’re in luck! The last customer dropped the egg, and it didn’t break!
I think it was boiled, hope that’s acceptable…
Eggcelent! The NFT will be shipped shortly in a slightly damp envelope that smells faintly of coconut, as that is what my workshop smells like 3/4ths of the year. Also, this way you can distinguish it from the rest of the junk mail.
As a tip, I’ve also included a rare strand of Maggie Thatcher’s pubic hair, as a gift free of charge. Enjoy!
I’ll offer you three eggs in tomorrow’s eggs which will be worth more than the three eggs you have today.
When tomorrow comes, I’ll borrow three eggs from somebody else to pay you back.
Quail eggs don’t count.
NEXT BIDDER!
I’ll buy your egg debt and package it with other sub-prime egg debts and sell sections of the debt to hege funds.
I bid two eggs
Two eggs and two ovaries, we have our second bid!
Two eggs, since pocket lint, and a joke about elephants
Okay, one egg sold!
Let the bidding continue with the last two eggs!
Umm, I have some rock salt somewhere around here.
Half-brown eggs?
No, these are plain white chicken eggs. Blame the color confusion on our two different color LED lights in the kitchen.
NEXT BIDDER!
That’s what you get from Biden’s DEI egg-laying policies. A bunch of mud blood filth instead of AMERICAN eggs.
Finally you can buy a house for an apple and an egg again.
I offer a bag of IV fluids (very hot commodity)
I prefer VII fluids, or IIX if you can swing it
We only accept warm fluids here.
NEXT BIDDER!
That would give you 60 or 70 cents in civilized countries.
First rule of eggs is never tell people how many eggs you have
